Interesting reflection

I never really had a first love until my 30s! Lots of unrequited love, yes. But that isn't real love IMHO. I married my first love!

 

Married your first love Bogo Biggins? How lucky!

Regarding the thread hum I dont know I think it's really subjective. At late 20's you dont have that youthfull innocence of the first love but you can also find someone really special.

 

Not for me. I was afraid of everything and thought she wouldn't like me even if I was the last man on Earth.

 

Think of your first love like the first time on a roller coaster ride. All of the twists, turns, plummets, and uphill climbs take you by surprise. While all of that is exhilarating and exciting, you cannot deny that it is scary. How do you know what comes next? In the roller coaster ride that is love, you never know what to expect. All of the madness, the craziness, the feelings that feel too much like obsession after a while—it’s scary. Don't forget the pain of losing that first love as well.

Your ability to love later on in life is still a ride on the roller coaster, but you know what’s coming. You can anticipate that next drop, the next twist, the next climb. You're able to feel calmer while still enjoying the wild rush that comes with being in love with someone.

With age you lose innocence and "magic", but it also comes with more rationality. You are wiser, older, better. You are more aware of who you are as a person and you know more of what you want in a relationship. You've made regrettable mistakes and you're able to learn from them for your future relationships. It's not boring. If anything, it's calmer. It can be on a deeper level. Your first love is a toe in the water. A more mature form of love is a full body plunge into the water.

Sure, I enjoyed life as a kid, but I love all the knowledge / wisdom / experience I have today. I live life more consciously and purposely rather than having the bliss of ignorance.

 

Ugh! 'First' loves that are actually requited? I couldn't speak about that at all. I do recall a girl I had a crush on wrote me a letter, but I threw it out in fear that my parents might find before ever reading it (despite my parents never actually searching my stuff). My first kiss was at 19 about an hour before I lost my virginity with a friend who I wasn't really attracted to, who decided to give me a pity-f*ck because she was leaving town. I recall so very much how I'd been dreaming about my first kiss with someone I liked, and who liked me, and held up as, like you said, something magical. No, as a bitter and twisted 40 year old, I'm still romantic enough to believe in the potential magic of love, but I know I need to do work on me before I'm willing to seek that magic out.

I'm very pleased that what you're going through is happening for you though. I can't shield you from eventual heartbreak, but I will let you know that it's not the end of the world.

 

Perhaps, or it might be the most awesome thing ever.

I'd say work on yourself, go through the reboot, and, in time, you'll meet someone you like who also likes you (apparently not as rare as I was led to believe). I'm not saying it will be perfect, but it will be more good than bad.