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From dark to light

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by light&light, Apr 6, 2018.

  1. light&light

    light&light Fapstronaut

    Hi, I am feeling great to be a part of a great community. A community of warriors I would have to say. I joined this community more than 6 months ago but haven’t done serious work on that. For several reasons I want to do Nofap

    1. The first reason is that it is against my moral values. When I watch porn, I feel that I am a big hypocrite and a coward. I always found a heavy burden on my shoulder.

    2. I want to make my relationship with my wife great.

    I want to do standard mode 7 days. I already have done some work on that

    1. I installed K9 web protection software on my laptop and blocked porn sites.

    2. I uninstalled browser on my phone and used restriction. My wife has my restriction code.

    3. I watch lots of YouTube videos on Nofap, and that really motivates me.

    Hope I will be able to do good in my life
     
  2. You can do this. Be dedicated to the Forums, and let the Community support you. Also, remember that the key is not just about removing temptation... it's about truly hating it. If you just try to remove all temptation, then something will sneak up on you... like a movie with sexual content or a Victoria's Secret catalog. Know what you're fighting for, and keep that first and foremost.
     
    light&light likes this.
  3. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Hi, i write this to a lot of people who are starting to work on their recovery, so i hope it will help..

    I've been addicted to booze, drugs, sugar, caffeine, pmo, pmo with a lot of amphetamine, instagram, facebook, compliments etc etc. When i stopped using one, i got involved in the other addiction.

    Well, i guess addiction is just a symptom of a deeper problem. It's common for addicts to get addicted to other things when they cut the primal addiction. I guess when you get deeper into why you're addicted it's getting easier to understand.

    So figure out the reasons you're getting addicted so easy..;)

    And it helped me a lot to make a plan. So when i began to stop being addicted i just wanted to stop.. And that's good, but it's freaking hard to maintain focus with only one reason. So i made a plan. Why do i get addicted? What is it in my life that gives me so little joy that i always need to find other ways to get happy. .. So start with the gigantic question... WHY AM I ADDICTED? Do you fully understand why you happen to use all the time? As i wrote i was a full-time addict. Porn, drugs, booze, sugar, caffeine, social media, compliments of other people.. Every short-term solution i used to cope with my problems.. Really, after thinking for so so so long about my addiction i came to the conclusion that my addiction is in every fiber of my life!! And i finally got to a point where i really understand why i'm addicted. Since i fully understand what addiction is and what the mechanisms are behind (my) addiction, it's easier to not give in! For me it started whe i was 9 years old. I had many problems im my life.. I was bullied a lot at school. Long story short; me and two friends found some porn magazines and one told me what to do as a boy. In the afternoon i did and BAZINGA, i didn't care about the bullying anymore. At the age of 13 I experienced great youth trauma. And from there it escalated quick. Years of fapping, drug and alcohol abuse followed till they needed to take me into mental hospital 3 years ago. My main problem was that i have never loved myself. I started to believe it was my own fault that i sufferd that trauma, and when i started using drugs i was ashamed etc. At then end i could find only one reason, i used everything just to have a good feeling, find some rest in my head etc. And it was not only substance abuse.. As i wrote, it was in every fiber of my life. Everything was about getting compliments, people telling me i'm a good boy, likes on instagram etc etc...

    So, figure out all the things you need to know about addiction in general and about addiction in relation to you. The Internet is pretty useful for that. And, maybe not the most fun thing to do, get bored a lot! In this modern time, we are always busy with something. From the moment you realize you get bored, you will find a way to deal with that boredom. We have internet, books, SMARTPHONES, people to hang out with. See where i'm going.. Our brain get's stuffed with imput, imput, imput.... We are never empty anymore. Yeah, i know, boredom is not fun, but it's essential for healing the mind and for finding answers on such big questions as for why am i addicted, why do i relapse all the time. So, go on the internet, read stories about other people's experiences and get bored and think.. THINK A LOT. I happened to find it most relaxing to go out for a walk in the forest, do a lot of cardio, read, or just meditated. There are a lot of meditation forms. I like the one i count my breath. And, i like the one where i just think about everything that pops up. Most of the time its about my addiction.

    So you need to make sure that when you want to fully recover from addiction it has to be at the very top of your list... It has to be the most important thing besides food, water, air, and sleep. So when you fully understand what the mechanisms are behind your addiction, then you make a solid plan.. Just getting in to reboot without a plan is the same as beginning an iron man triathlon with no training at all.

    And with a plan i mean a real plan.. So i made a mind map of all the reasons why i don't want to fap and why the hell i want to quit my addiction. I would suggest you make a written paper with 40 reasons why you don't want to fap anymore. I say 40 because 2 to 5 reasons are to short. 40 reasons is a moderately long list so it takes a little time to read. It might take your mind of the urges. I guess we addicts are really good at finding reasons why we should do it.. And therefore we are so damn good at convincing us to give in.. And, not to forget, one of the most important things is healthy food. My recovery would have been absolutely unsuccessful if I had continued to eat unhealthily. In the end, I even had to give up caffeine and sugar and mastrubating to porn. We, addicts, are always seeking for the dopamine shot. So in order to recover and re-wire your brain, it's good to quit all short term solutions. I would suggest to join the dopamine challenge. I've added a link to the dopamine challenge. It's on the nofap page, but that's good. Mastrubation can be a problem to? For me it was a BIG problem haha..https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/5crla0/the_dopamine_challenge_are_you_tough_enough/

    So we really need to change that mindset and make us only see the reasons why we don't want to use anymore..

    it helped and still helps me a lot, when i really have strong urges, to make a mantra of all the reasons why I don’t want to do it. And, as a craving for drugs, alcohol or a porn related thought or image comes up to my mind I count from 1 to 6 and backward and visualizing the numbers. I just count and visualize as long as I need to get rid of the porn images or thoughts. This does two things.. Namely, it get's your mind of the urge when you do it consistently and... it helps your brain make need pathways not related to substance abuse (rewiring). I really noticed that after 3 weeks of consistently doing this, the cravings began to weaken... And afterward, when the cravings are gone, i do full the mantra 6 times.. And if that not helps, and i'm at home, i jump under the ice cold shower. It's such a shock to the body and mind that in 90 percent of the time i cant even think about it haha.. And if even that dont help me, i will go run as long as i need. Last time i needed to run i kept on going for 25 kilometer hahaha.

    So the other things i do to deal with the urges are..

    Hard S olutions, Easy Life - Easy Solutions - Hard Life

    For now i will stop writing..

    If you have any questions, just asked..."
     
    light&light likes this.
  4. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. Check out In Case You Didn't Know for strategies and tips which may help you along your journey.
     
    Mitness likes this.
  5. light&light

    light&light Fapstronaut

    Thank you, brother, for your great reply. You are really amazing. You said that you were addicted to so many things. Have you fought all that at the same time?
     
  6. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Hi,

    Well, actually yes and now.. Yes. because i started in rehab for drugs problems. It's a long long story, so i won't bother you with that..
    But when I stopped taking drugs I started to drink a lot more. So, i did it in stages.. First this, then that, But, i kept falling back and back. So when i drank, sometimes i relapsed in drugs etc. And when i finally came of drugs and alcohol 01-01-2017 i got addicted to sugar, social media, caffeine. (never stopped fapping, but i did not know this was an addiction haha) Pure on willpower i managed to stay sober even thought i went to parties etc. But, because i did not address the underlying problem of my addiction, after a year i relapsed in drugs again. But, even though in western society it's called a relapse, for me, it was a breakthrough. Some weeks before i heard of nofap. And after a lot of reading about it for the first time, i had this magic "AHA" moment. During the relaps, i started to hallucinate and finally saw the big picture.. And from that moment i just saw it as 1 addiction. not addicted to drugs, alcohol or something else, just addicted. And from that moment i just did it al in once.
    I can say it's much easier to address it all in once. Just, a i wrote, take a deep look in why you are addicted. Because every short-term solution will cause in increase in dopamine and therefore we feel good. But you need to know why you are seeking for the artificial stimulation. I see it as an onion.
    You have to peel all the onion until you get to the core. Work on that core. Unpack the core. And when you have found the core, unravel the core as well. I've noticed that whenever you get to the core, there's still a core. I have had 6 times that I thought I was at the core, but that there was still an underlying problem.

    So in simple terms... > Dont stop asking why to yourself. Why am i addicted, because of etc

    Why etc etc because of etc etc
    Why etc etc etc..

    Have a great day !!!
     

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