How to address diet and fitness concerns with an SO

Alright this threads title may make me sound a little shallow (and I probably am); but I would lile some honest suggestions on if and how to nicely address some concerns with my girlfriends fitness and diet.
A little preface on me: I have personally struggled with weight, lack of exercise and energy, and poor diet.
I have made a lot of improvements on that, and have found something sustainable for me and would like to push the girlfriend to do the same as she has expressed interest however actions do not reflect this. Unfortunately, this contradiction, lack of confidence, and weight gain is becoming unattractive. I have experience PIED in the past, and brought that under control, but losing my sex drive now with her personally.

Now to talk a little about her she had a bad breakup before me and I think that triggered some weightgain and depression, but when we met I really liked her motivated attitude. She got me into martial arts as an exercise which I am really running with. She however has stagnated. Less enthusiasm and (leadership) in the bedroom despite being hornier than me. Aka she wants sex more often, but then just lies on her back unless I make her change positions (and no reciprocation for going down).
Diet unless I am cooking I feel like she makes or orders large portions, always pushing for bread and appetizers and dessert. I'm 6' 200lb and she is 5'3 and I think eats more than me.
Exercise, she at least tries to go to a class twice a week and will maybe start biking to work now that its warm again. But its constant Netflix and chill so I try to drag her out and walk to get food from the limited options when over.

I've tried being a little coy and suggesting things. Bringing up my diet and how I want to improve it, but Im starting to feel like shes not the girl I originally met.
Thoughts, feedback, suggestions?

 

Can you go a little further in your response?
Whats your point regarding carbs? (I do have a personal opinion on carbs but was more pointing out excess food rather than vilinizing them)
I'm not currently rebooting, just maintaining and supporting others and participating with the community. Can you enlighten me on betrayal trauma?

Thanks

 

Thanks for the info, though I have a feeling this is less applicable to my case. In many ways the intimacy has increased, however for me the sexual attractionhas gone down. The only reason I am asking is because I want to improve the communication in the relationship by broaching a delicate topic I don't know how to really address in full. I have touched somewhat on the sex with her and what I want, and it changed for a bit and reverted. We have spoken on porn briefly and I think she was surprised that Ive been working to avoid it as she was under the assumption its what all men do. I told her in my mind its a bad habit and can be addicting and unfrufilling.
For me I feel I am more curious as to how to address habits she has mentioned are bad, but she does them anyways and that despite my encouragement and personal commitment to being healthier as well if seems lile she is going the opposite direction. Maybe she can sense some of this, but I don't know. Trying to be sensitive in addressing the concerns, but wondering if I should just be blunt. Maybe I should be the asshole and be blunt with her, get dumped and be the guy her and her friends shit on, but end of the day even though she hate me I end up being a big motivator for her self improvement. Or theres the chance I send her down the spiral again she experienced her last relationship.

 

"Bitch, you fat. Change it."

I am not responsible for physical injury.

 

Yeah you need to be straight up. If youre putting in all types of work during sex and shes laying on her back the entire time I would tell her that was unacceptable. In regards to the rest, trying to change your SO into something else is a horrible plan. If you seriously think youre gonna be able to make a fat chick stop eating and work out long enough to loose weight then you must be crazy.

 

Stop trying to be tough online.

 

You could just ask her whats wrong? If she is emotionally eating then there is something triggering this behavior whether it be self-worth issues, betrayal, anger, perfectionism, or whatever other kind of mind fuckery we all have to deal with on a day to day basis. Maybe she's tried so many diets that she's just burnt out? I know that's how I felt for the longest time until I found a way of eating that has actually been working and helping with the one arm fork put downs. Before finding what's worked though I always felt like I was taking one step forward and two steps back. That kind of hopeless feeling is fucking soul crushing like PMO.

 

Ok, lol.

 

I agree with the advice to be honest and have a conversation about the sex and possibly about her eating and fitness, especially if it's something she uses to be more motivated about and isn't anymore. But I would approach it in a loving way, of course, and as Roger That said, ask if there's a reason she has been down or less motivated lately, in general.

Do prepare yourself for the backlash, though. Nobody likes being told that they aren't as motivated as they used to be, and they certainly don't like being told their partner isn't satisfied with their performance in the bedroom. That doesn't mean you shouldn't be honest, because if you can get through the conversation with love and tact and good communication, things could get a lot better in the end. But that's not going to be an easy or comfortable talk. But hey, welcome to the world of being in a long term relationship. That's just how it goes sometimes. Good luck!

 

I agree you cant try to change someone by saying you want them to change...my friends have been in marriages like these that end horribly...people need to want to change and believe they can. She wants to change certain things about her, but I think doesnt see them as achievable goals...and then she has some issues (best word i can think of) that she doesnt know which im trying to bring to light. She works out just think she (like most americans)gets too stresses overeats and sits all day at her job. I was the same and realized I dont owe anyany company shit especially not jeopardize my health for them. If I cook or she cooks for me I just take charge and make sure its healthy and shes starting to realize my healthy recipes are better. I definitely like overhearing her and my roommates gf bragging about my roommate and mines cooking skills...we often cook together.
Back to the gym Ive been guilt tripping her but also having her guilt trip me to go to the gym so its mutal and kinda a fun game. Did get shit for skipping this morning cause I had a boys night last night.

 

Haha thanks for being sensitive good to have that in these forums... personally I am fairly hard to offend i like very blunt opinions whether right or wrong