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How do people overcome urges?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Mar 29, 2018.

  1. Hi,

    So I'm fairly new to nofap and just got my longest streak of 7 days. However, I was overwhelmed by urges and struggled to find a way out - my brain was messed up. What do people do to reset themselves without relapsing?? Is there a solid method?

    Cheers,
    LCM
     
  2. Meditation, cold showers, and willpower are what helped me the most. Take deep breaths too and think about what you are after in regards to this journey.
     
  3. newtonlkh

    newtonlkh Fapstronaut

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    When I took off my shirt or pants (eg just been back home, out of shower, sitting in toilet), that skin sensation trigger my masturbation thoughts
    Maybe it help to avoid those times, get dressed ASAP.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    Urges are tough but they are short lived. The average urge only lasts about 7 minutes (although at the time it feels like it lasts forever). In those 7 minutes though, all your brain will be thinking about it relapse so you need a robust strategy to deal with them (willpower alone won't cut it). Essentially you will need to be able to distract yourself for about 15 minutes until the urge passes. The Panic Button can help but I think that you need to get off your devices and ideally into somewhere public so that there is no temptation. Something physical is good - go for a run, a walk or a cold shower. When the urge has passed, you will be able to carry on as if nothing ever happened - they really do go that quickly.

    The other thing is that you need to prevent yourself from getting bored as I think boredom is the main reason that most people relapse. You will have a lot more time when you're not spending time each day watching porn. Start cultivating some hobbies which will improve your life - I finally took the leap and started my lifetime ambition of learning a new language. Some members commit to a new exercise regime, learning to play musical instruments - there are infinite possibilities available to you. Finally do the thing that you have been too lazy to do your whole life because of your porn habit and those positive rewards will help you on your way.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Poemandres

    Poemandres Fapstronaut

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    In my case I just let it go. The most important thing is to not touch your benis by any circumstance, don't let your hand get close to it.
     
  6. Try thinking of "gateways of last resort". That term is often used when it comes to network devices. E.g. when a router can't find an IP on its routing tables, it delivers that packet to the gateway of last resort. The router is basically saying: " I don't know where this is, so as my last resort I'll send the packet there".

    You'e got to set up a written document with your personal gateways of last resort. When the urge is strong, the tension built up and you feel like you're about to relapse, pick up that document and do exactly what you wrote down. That should save you from a relapse.

    In my opinion, it's very useful to write maybe 4 or 5 different actions you could take. E.g. call a friend, take a really cold shower, contact your AP, shutdown your electronic devices for 30 minutes, do a workout. When you're experiencing an urge, just pick one action and do it. In case that does not work, pick another.

    Good luck
     
  7. Mitness

    Mitness Fapstronaut

    Do you fully understand why you happen to relapse all the time? I was a full-time addict. Porn, drugs, booze, sugar, social media.. Every short-term solution i used to cope with my problems.. Since i fully understand what addiction is and what the mechanisms are behind (my) addiction, it's easier to not give in! So, figure out all the things you need to know about addiction in general and about addiction in relation to you. The Internet is pretty useful for that. So you need to make sure that when you want to fully recover from addiction it has to be at the very top of your list... It has to be the most important thing besides food, water and air. So when you fully understand what the mechanisms are behind your addiction, then you make a solid plan.. Just getting in to reboot without a plan is the same as beginning an iron man triathlon with no training at all.

    And with a plan i mean a real plan.. So i made a mind map of all the reasons why i don't want to fap. I would suggest you make a written paper with 40 reasons why you don't want to fap anymore. I say 40 because 2 to 5 reasons are to short. 40 reasons is a moderately long list so it takes a little time to read. It might take your mind of the urges.
    I guess we addicts are really good at finding reasons why we should do it.. And therefore we are so damn good at convincing us to give in..
    So we really need to change that mindset and make us only see the reasons why we dont want to fap anymore..

    it helped me a lot, when i really have strong urges, to make a mantra of all the reasons why I don’t want to do it. As a porn related thought or image came up to my mind I count from 1 to 6 and backward and visualizing the numbers. I just count and visualize as long as I need to get rid of the porn images or thoughts. This does two things.. Namely, it get's your mind of the porn and... it helps your brain make need pathways not related to porn (rewiring). I really noticed that after 3 weeks of consistently doing this, the images began to weaken... And afterward, when the images are gone, i do full the mantra 6 times..
    And if that not helps, and i'm at home, i jump under the ice cold shower. It's such a shock to the body and mind that in 90 percent of the time i cant even think about porn haha.. And if even that dont help me, i will go run as long as i need. Last time i needed to run i kept on going for 25 kilometer hahaha.

    So the other things i do to deal with the urges are..

    - Intermittent fasting. I only alow myself to eat from 05:00 to 07:00 in the evening. It makes my willpower grow, i dont have a lot of food cravings anymore. I also fast 4 days a month only on water. So i dont eat, but only drink water for 4 days. It helps me A LOT to have a clear mind and it's fucking good for upregulating the dopamine receptors.
    Just read this... https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/the-benefits-of-fasting-on-the-reboot.64894/

    - i meditate a lot. It helps me SO SO SO SO fucking much in controlling my mind.
    Read this
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-to-meditate-for-mindblowing-state.28105/
    https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/5udawq/meditation_is_extremely_important_to_succeed_with/

    - I only take ice cold showers.. It helps me a lot with increasing my willpower. We addicts have the habbit of always choose the most comfortable path.. So if you're able to really go uncomfortable, it makes your will power go though the roof. and it's pretty good for your body..
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/cold-showers-are-the-bomb.33956/

    For now i will stop writing..Ow, this article blew my mind..

    It's about why we should choose the more uncomfortable options..

    https://gettingstronger.org/2010/05/opponent-process-theory/

    If you have any questions, just asked...
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  8. Very helpful, thankyou
     
  9. Cheers for taking the time to reply man, I will read those articles now.
     

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