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How to satisfy my girlfriend's sexual needs when I abstaining from masturbation?

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by lyophobic sol, Mar 18, 2018.

If you were in such a position, what would u do?

  1. Try to avoid the call,claiming busy schedule

    20.0%
  2. jerk off to her

    10.0%
  3. other choice (please elaborate in the thread)

    70.0%
  1. lyophobic sol

    lyophobic sol Fapstronaut

    no no no you got the whole idea wrong, maybe i did not present enough. We have other issues, out of topic here, for which we avoid sex. We are planning for sometime in future though. She isn't going to leave me, she is just against the idea of quitting orgasm at an age of highest sexual hormonal imbalance. She won't leave me for that, just not with me in this idea.
     
  2. Dan1132

    Dan1132 Fapstronaut

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    Elaborating on my vote - There are multiple ways to satisfy a woman without penetrative sex; try oral sex on her or make her climax through clitoris stimulation.
     
  3. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Does she know she is the reason you are on a reboot? Are there other ways to solve your temper and irritated problem? Do you know what causes them?
    A lot of people use PMO as kind of stress release system. If they can't do that they will get irritated,etc. Do you recognize yourself in this patern?

    Also you can masturbate without porn which is also a step. It all depends on what kind Nofap you do and why. You can also say to her that quitting masturbation is normal thing because you have her to get sexually satisfied. I do think that communication is key. Talk with her about why and how. Ask her what she expects from you and tell her what you expect from her.

    With those questions above there is also one other question: Do you feel you failed when you have sex with her? Is there a reason why you think you shouldn't have sex with her?
    Its not porn, its not masturbation. It's getting sexully satisfied in a normal way.
     
  4. Pastoress

    Pastoress Fapstronaut

    I'm sorry to hear about this for you. It is very sad when we (try to) set boundaries in dating and our partners try to talk us out of them. You are worth setting and keeping your goals. Any girlfriend who values you more than she values your dick will support you with you goals.
     
  5. lyophobic sol

    lyophobic sol Fapstronaut

    read the thread completely. you missed many major points I made.
     
  6. lyophobic sol

    lyophobic sol Fapstronaut

    She knows. No other explainable reason for my behaviour.
    WE NEVER HAD SEX. I don't fear failing, there are other reasons we could not.
    definitely appreciate your concern, you gave me some valuable points I could mention to my girlfriend.
     
  7. lyophobic sol

    lyophobic sol Fapstronaut

    s
    she has been with me through ups and downs, supports me most of the time (except for parts she thinks is illogical, and they are illogical most of the times :/ ). So she is worth it.
     
  8. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    No i'm asking the question: If you're going to have sex, do you think you faild you Nofap?
    I feel like there might be a deeper problem, because I don't see your reason to do Nofap.
    "Are there other ways to solve your temper and irritated problem? Do you know what causes them?"-Abird 1 post ago
    You don't get a temper or irritated out of nowhere
     
  9. Pastoress

    Pastoress Fapstronaut

    She is worth it. And so are you.
     
  10. luluna

    luluna New Fapstronaut

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    A lot of advice on here... is nuts. We don't live lives of ultimatums, and more often than not, we live for others. Others are often a good source of strength, support, and motivation - simply look at the idea of an accountability partner. There is no reason why OP can't have a healthy sexual relationship while progressing in nofap.

    OP: The biggest part of nofap - to me - is the pornography. No one here debates the harmful nature of it - and it is the ultimate goal; to destroy our addiction to pornography. What is up for debate though, is how physical interactions with real people impact our nofap progress. My belief is that if you are 100% focused on the pleasure of your partner and yourself, then I can only see it as progress. If you're visualizing and recalling past pornography why engaging in sexual activities, then I can only see that as a relapse.

    You shouldn't have to choose between nofap and a relationship; that is (to me) literally counter to the purpose of nofap. Instead, I think you can use it to make your relationship stronger (I will only masturbate to the thought and sight of you - that can be quite flattering and attractive).

    Regardless, you have a tough and long road. Good luck with whatever you choose!
     
    lyophobic sol likes this.

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