Porn / other addictive things - when 1 goes down, another goes up?

I cannot speak from experience about the other stuff, but logic tells me that these are all bloody hard to stop, so prioritise the one that you consider to be the worst.

 

Yup
Around day 40 of nofap I was at a family dinner and I ate too much. It was no accident, I was trying to compensate myself, that same day I smoked too much weed and pretty much freaked out. That made me realize I need to quit other habits and change other habits.

But you can do this gradually, over the course of months or even years. Your brain will always seek plesure, your only means of winning in this battle is to find healthy sources of pleasure. Sports, Science, Art, Creating, Making, Crafting, Music, meeting with friends, writing. I bet you can think of other things as well.

 

Thanks for this APCIA.
Just what I am thinking.

 

I experienced this too. The key is to not just do nofap but work on all areas of your life. Don't let another addiction get out of hand because of quitting an addiction!

 

Nofap is all about self improvement, so you might want to improve the other areas in your life. To be honest when I started nofap I was a weed smoker (once or twice a week). As time passed, my interest for weed just slipped away till I decided to quit and quitting weed was really easy. I loss interest because I felt that it was impeding on my success because I would be burnt out the next day and not exercise or I would be more horny and likely to relapse. So if you really want to succeed nofap than I recommend you quit those bad habits that would interfere (ie. weed, cigarettes, alcohol). As time passes, your interest in them will probably fade away too even if you didn't decide to quit.

 

Who is to say those other areas of self indulgence isn't necessary heh? Not to say that it's okay to start shooting up dope because you're not fapping. The point is sometimes we need those 'other' distractions around for a bit before we can lose the one that is causing the most trouble. Many here fall into playing game systems, or _________ fill in the blank, excessively in the beginning... then, eventually, that stuff will tapper off too. If one quits everything at once, it is possible you may get so much anxiety/energy/restlessness/withdrawl built up that you end up being a bomb ready to explode - and NOBODY will want to be around your butt. People hate to be around people with 'chips on their shoulder' or in 'hypersensitive (everything affects you) mode'. What I found is when I started to tackle one addiction and apply discipline in that area.. some of the others inadvertenly walked away.

 

I believe - everything in moderation. I have chosen to eliminate only one thing from my life.
Porn.
Everything else is available if done in moderation.
Why did I pick just porn?
You all know why, it is the one and only thing in my life that I have had such a visceral reaction to. One peek and it's as if electricity runs through me. Maybe I've become hypersensitive to it.

I need to enjoy life, and stay opened to things. I feel that if I go around denying myself of anything that has ever been known to cause harm, I may as well crawl into my casket right now.

 

I've quit coffee before, back on it now. I've been cigarette free for five years after smoking for nine. Pot free for 6 years. I still drink occasionally but I am not drinking currently along with this NoFap challenge. I like the idea that our brains are pleasure seeking.... And that we have trained our brains to overly seek constant pleasure or entertainment.... I am trying to teach my brain how to be happy without any form of entertainment or external pleasure, I'm trying to learn how to e still and how to be ok with other states of being besides pleasure. I think it's about a wholistic approach , it's a whole lifestyle change... We are rebooting... Trying to get the brain to release happy chemicals without a vice.... Sugar porn and heroin all look similar in the brain when a person is experiencing stimulation from them. But it's the brain that is providing the pleasure. How can we access that true pleasure just by living instead of conditioning our brains to release it only with a vice. The vices create artificial prisons. They prevent our brains from releasing that pleasure unless they are present. They are controlling our happiness.

 

As one other guy said you first should choose a major bad habit that indirectly or directly occurs the others. In my case sex or PMO addiction is the worst. Others are uncontrolled food and unregular but excessive alcohol consume and no sports. I sent myself into a personal 12 habit program. Every 30 days I focus one habit. The idea behind is that if you break up with everything at once your are most likely to fail with all. So one habit after the other. First is sex PMO which is my major problem. During this I try to think about all the others as well and make a plan but I do not focus on them so much. I may try a day of controlled eating in between but if I am not as consequent, no problem. This will be my next month's task. Same with alcohol. I try to think about it but still drink it. I just try to keep the level and not increase the consume. One problem with alcohol is that it changes your personality and your inhibition which may lead into breaking your PMO abstinence.

Anyway you should keep in mind to replace every bad habit with new positive one.

I recommend two books about habits:„Making Habits, Breaking Habits: How to Make Changes that Stick“ by Jeremy Dean and "the power of habit" by Charles Duhigg.

 

As others have said this is probably a normal action. Think of it this way, you are just one single circle. It is made up of many individual segments. Each of your addictions forms one these segments. If you remove one segment it leaves a void which must be filled. You have only two choices, either allow one or more of the remaining segments to grow or fill the gap with something new. The choice is hard but only you can make the choice.

 

I find that when I was PMO free for a year, I ate way too much and slept way too little. So this is a real challenge for me.

What's weird is this: when I saw that no masturbation had led to me getting too little sleep and eating way too much, I actually started masturbating again!

I can see that unless I take a holistic approach to this, I am not going to have a feeling of recovery that is holistic and joyful and real on ALL levels.

But just recently I had to start somewhere. . .and putting down the PMO is where I am starting.

More to follow. . .

Thank you.

 

Thanks for starting this thread, teaandbiscuits. It's something that affects us all. Giving up PMO while keeping other addictions intact is something to think about.

I personally think the key is cutting to the root of the addictive mindset. Addiction is always about blindly reaching for anything that will soothe an inner feeling of groundlessness. I think we can all relate to that feeling. I am replicating a post from my journal on this, based on current addiction studies. I hope it helps.

1. Addiction is always about self image. There is a deeply embedded sense of not being worthy, that was picked up in early childhood and this usually manifests as a powerful feeling of insecurity and need for some form of closure. Very often you saw your mom, dad, or guardian's preoccupation with something other than you as meaning that you weren't important as you were, and that meant insecurity. This is prime addiction territory, because you feel insecure inside, and are looking for anything that will make you feel better.
2. The addictive substance (porn, coke, C2H5OH, food, work) fires up the reward center in the brain. As a child, the addict stumbles upon this, and finds how pleasurable it feels. So she/he starts repeating the behavior in order to feel the pleasure again and again, simply to achieve the closure that their inner insecurity demands.
3. Long term addiction rewires the reward center in the brain, and only the addictive substance appears to fire up the reward center, but only when the dosage is increased. More coke, more food, more porn or more variety in porn, etc.
4. It is possible to start rewiring your reward center. Being mindful is a very good way to set about this. Each time the open ended feeling of insecurity shows up, which you usually fill with the addictive substance, be alert and mindful as long as you can. If you fail, that's okay, as long as you remember to be mindful just a little more each time.
5. It is possible to entirely reverse the pathology to the brain caused by addictive behavior, simply by being aware of the behavior as it manifests. Again, mindfulness to the rescue. The intense discomfort of resisting your addiction is actually because your addiction related neural network is firing on all cylinders, and your reward center is demanding a hit. Once you start seeing your discomfort as brain rewiring, you start slowly being okay with it. This process takes time for most people.
6. More mindfulness meditation = more results. Learning to simply be in the present moment, and learning to gently nudge your attention back to the present, no matter what thoughts drag it away, is your best bet against any addiction. Once this faculty of moving your attention from a thought to the present moment becomes established, you can do so with ease when the addictive thought shows up.
7. Addiction removal is only a fraction of the story. There is a wonderful life full of love, friends, harmony and energetic accomplishment that being addiction free is all about. To actively start living this life without waiting for the addiction to be gone is the proper way. Every added measure of energy you get from not indulging in your addiction must be devoted to living your ideal life. Now.

 

Your addictions are preventing you from knowing what you want to do with your life. The addictions cause the feelings of emptiness that cause you to want to engage in other addictions. Once you have rebooted from all of them, you will be much clearer and know what you want to do.

I would try to give up all the addictions at the same time. Because as you have pointed out, if you use smoking to substitute for PMO, then from a brain perspective, the addiction hasn't changed. If you do a functional MRI on someone and identify that she is addicted, you don't know whether it's to PMO or smoking or heroin. It looks the same.

But if you give up multiple things at the same time, you are going to need something healthy to substitute as a stress-reliever. Would try to form a positive social group, start attending some events, treat yourself in ways that are not related to any bad habits that you have. Then slowly by slowly you will be able to give up the addictions.

 

i am trying to quit many things at once also, but i heard your brain can only focus on three things well, if a persone tryes to do more then that say 8 things they will only do a couple well, and the goals the less likely to get anything done. but i agree no fapping MO ect goes hand in hand with bigger life goals so it's good to find a good balance.

 

One thing that really helped me recently is joining a gym. It made a major difference in my overall quality of life!

That seems to help me to behave in a healthy way generally. . .rather than needing my addictions. (Sex, food, porn, PMO, lust, fantasy).

Thank you.

 

Ah. . .just so good to be actually looking at things like this!

To have the courage to stand back and take inventory is a rare thing for human beings. . .but so needed for a happy life.

Thank you.