CONNECTION - is opposite of addiction?

Thanks, I didn't know anything about this approach. It seems to work though.

 

Thank you for posting this great YouTube clip.

It's rather obvious isn't it, those who don't have deep meaningful relationships with other humans are going to find other outlets and for us it's porn or sex. Now I'm not saying everybody who has a porn or sex addiction meets this theory, as we're all different.

After reading book after book and course after course on trying to control my sex addiction (which includes porn) this one video speaks the loudest to me and my condition. You see I was brought up in a household where we didn't display 'love' towards one another, we were all rather distant, including my parents who never displayed affection to each other. I absorbed this as a child and struggled to connect with people on a deep level, I was always and still am rather distant.

I started viewing porn in the late 90's in my late teens, and now come to think of it, it was a coping mechanism for not only my sexual frustrations, but also my frustrations about connecting with others, especially females at school. As I grew into an adult with a well paying job I started frequently visiting escorts, meeting women for one night stands and sugar babies to help me cope with my sexual urges and frustrations. I have probably had sex with well over 100 women, many of whom in the looks department were on the very attractive side, some were models. However, the fantasy of sex was always better than the act of sex. I found the sexual liaisons rather dull, even when I was doing things most men could only dream of. After each encounter I said to myself never again, you're better than this, though the urge always came back and the cycle continued.

I realised what true love and loving sex was when I fell in love several years back with the most amazing woman I've ever met. However, the romance was short lived as she died due to health complications I wont go into. This caused me to go into a downward spiral again, as I lost the one woman I really connected with. Some might say why not meet another woman and full in love, and yes I agree. However, I have confidence issues and also struggle to let people into my life and I'm working on these issues.

Once again a great video, and I suggest to everyone to work on yourselves and build healthy connections with people and see those people as much as you can. Being alone too often is not good for yourself.

 

For sure. Was I not bullied at school by girls, I would be able to get a girlfriend now and before and I would not have to deal with porn as an addiction.

 

Connection is the opposite of addiction, it is why AA is so successful. Go to some AA meetings

 

What I also like about this video is the approach of helping those with addictions other than just locking them up if they commit a crime (low level of course). Clearly and as we know with our own addiction that punishing someone isn't going to resolve the issue, you simply can't just switch off an addiction and turn into a saint.

 

This makes a lot of sense. The part about rats preferring non-drug pleasure when available is convincing proof that addiction is a fall-back solution when better life solutions are not available.

It almost points to psychological intervention at the earliest age possible -- however that could happen in our society.

 

There's an even broader context. This vid from what I remember is basically about social connection, I've got 50 days in this current streak but I have very little socialization right now.

There are many other kinds of connection.

I look at my connection or relationship with nature. Sometimes the two are in opposition. If you're with people who want to be out late but you are working on sleep how many would understand? Or going out to eat and being on a particular diet.

Unfortunately sometimes most people are on a different page with other kinds of connection, and connection with them may diminish the kinds that are good for you in spite of good intention. Generally good intention lacking understanding seems to be what paves the road to hell.

 

People can be toxic to one another, so that's why it's very important to find social connections with healthy minded people with good morals. For example I've joined a meditation group to learn deep meditation and the people I've met are the kindest and most understanding bunch of people you could ever meet.