[90-CHALLENGE] THE NINETY DAYS CHALLENGE !

18 days. Good times.

 

Hey! Thanks for the advice. It is much appreciated. I have tried letting go of counting consecutive days without PMO and it worked well for 5 days. However, I faced an emotionally charged situation and subsequently relapsed on the fifth day. So I decided to go back to counting days for some accountability. I have even used an excel worksheet to track my progress. The problem is that I am linking progress to the counter. My self esteem also is linked to the counter. So when I relapse it takes a big toll on my self esteem and I have to build it back up because the counter says I am back to zero. There is no doubt that tracking is good but I think after a while it is better to start tracking how we use those days. So I have began tracking positive habits like exercise, reading personal development books, coding, waking up early and so on using an app. I believe its about living according to the cliche "don't count the days...make the days count" I also want to concentrate on self healing i.e. focusing on accepting my self, stop the self loathing and effectively cope with negative emotions.

 

Day 30
A major milestone accomplished! It is almost unbelievable! I will celebrate this somehow and reward myself.

However, I made the decision to stop counting the days.

 

Day 6 going good

 

check in. all good.

 

Day 8/90. Yesterday was a weird day. I had lots of fun doing things I enjoy, met with some friends, but ended up feeling like shit for almost no reason. Days are "strangely" positive for me lately, but I see a tendency for mood swings approaching the 10 day mark. Fortunately no urges though. Anyone else feeling something similar?

 

Day 7 of 90 feeling good about how my progress is coming along, I do not think about my online chat rooms except when my wife brings them up again to ask me questions that she already knows the answer to, from taking screen shots of my account on the chat site. Going to start the self help program on Recovery Nation, they start from day 0 and work forward thru 90 days of recovery, some might be going back to things I have all ready though about and worked thru, but I will still do the work in the program.
I feel guilty about how I feel about my recovery that I am happy about my life (still feel empty about my marriage and if it will last thru this) while my wife is still hurting from all of this, seem like she is still on day 0 in getting better every time she goes back and looks thru the stuff she saved, when I tell her to stop looking at it so she can move forward into feeling better, she says I just want her to forget about it for my benefit. But it is not that at all I would like to see her smile again and be happy not sad and upset. So I keep trying to work thru this, keep getting told I am a liar, and other things. Stay strong keep on the path that will lead to a much better life for you and your family.
* 61 days free

 

Day 22/90

 

Day 18 - Got a cold, but I feel like the faith and power I have from NoFap helps me get back on track very soon. #faith

 

Get well, stay strong and keep the faith

 

Day 3

 

Day 27

 

DAY 1 of 90. Yesterday’s relapse was very disappointing. I was Desperately trying to find some porn that “did it” for me and really couldn’t. My tolerance is so incredibly high.

 

Day 8/90. The urges are so annoying when they come, but I guess it's a part of the journey. I'm happy I've been able to pass the one week mark. Does anyone have tips on how I could stop looking at women lustfully? This has been a big problem for me in the past few days and I feel the more I look at women in this disgusting and shameful way, the closer I am to relapsing. I don't want to relapse! . Please help guys.

 

8/90. Not so cool today. I had some job related issues. Usually when I confront kind of situation, I seek refuge in PMO. But today I'm not at all ready to give a chance to temporary pleasure, to forget my matter. I'm well aware of the situation and want to walk through it. At the end of the day, I have few choices to take.. not in deadlock anymore.

After the first week, as I have much time to spare, started to preparing for some certification. So making my jouney fruitful.

 

Day 0

 

Day 53 completed ...

 

Day 56.

 

Keep yourself busy if you are afraid of caving, as for the lust it’s only normal to be attracted to them, try to find more ways to be positive, congratulations you made it 8 days you should be thrilled the longer you go the easier it will get, remind yourself why your doing this, love yourself, it will get better and hey at least your trying you are making the effort that is something to be proud of you don’t just open up porn when ever you feel like it you are fighting the urge that is good you are worth it you are important know this believe this this is important to you or you would not be here and just for doing this you are stronger than a lot of people who won’t even try you can do this

 

Day 2