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Why do we put women on pedastals ?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Kman20, Jan 18, 2018.

  1. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You already have self worth. By asking questions and learning here, you have enough self worth to change.

    Self worth is earned by facing pain, solving problems, and going through negative experiences.

    It always starts with courage. Repeated courage turns into competence. Repeated competence turns into confidence. Confidence in one area of your life can transition into other areas of your life.

    So take what self worth you have so far and have the courage to keep going.
     
  2. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    I suggest you talk to more people in general.

    You'll eventually see that physical attributes are a very small part of what makes up a person.

    Until you stop seeing others as above or below you, you won't see people as whole human beings.

    The best thing you can do around attractive women is be real. Being real also gives them permission to be real around you. Growing up a lot of men try to act differently around them and try to take things (validation / sex) from them. So being a real person around them and not idolizing them is enough to separate you from most men.
     
  3. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I love this
     
  4. So much this. Physical attributes can let you know how healthy a person is, but aside from that it is not enough information. That is why people who attempt to make connections on physical attributes alone (unfortunately the 1 or even 2 sigma group) never end up happy, and don't know why. They get ED, cranky, and blame everyone else for their problems.
     
  5. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Its more that i have no idea how to approach a girl without being creepy.
    In public transport girls are bussy with their phone or listening to music.
    On street a lot of girls find it creepy (asked this on some forums)
    In clubs or festivals girls are always in groups

    So yea i have no idea how this works got any advice?
     
  6. Keep watching him, and watch some motivation by Jocko, if you enjoy and believe it, the confidence will come. You can and will be rejected, we all will... but eventually, you'll stop caring, and through what they tell you will be able to have a genuine relationship with a partner.
     
  7. If you have no idea how to talk to girls just think of them as people in general and spark up a conversation. For instance, even if you're out of Uni or decided to not attend, there are most likely groups or resources in communities (such as clubs or societies) that host a mix of men and women. Join these, talk to people, and learn that women can be approached just as easily as other guys. For instance, if you are religious, go to church. This sounds foolish, but I just joined a group of 80% women at my Uni based around religion and a few of them are quite attractive. It is MUCH easier to talk to women in a group you've already joined because you already have a common interest and you also aren't that 'weirdo' on the bus or in the club. Rinse and repeat with various organizations until you are comfortable with people.
     
  8. PrimalFeeling

    PrimalFeeling Fapstronaut

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    I wouldn't stress about it, if anything its actually a good thing because it means you wan't to talk to them. Worrying about it is just going to cause more anxiety, I feel like its just another one of society's anxiety driven catch phrases. These woman are incredibly beautiful and if you trying and fight that you are lieing to yourself. Your biology wan'ts them, don't try and fight your biology. Just don't get on your knees and bow down to them, build your own pedistal spo they can look up to you.
     
    Hitto and Paperweight like this.
  9. You got to man up be like a pimp get ya cash on
     
  10. Abird

    Abird Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your advice. I do have an idea how to talk to girls, but not how to approach them properly. Also i have no idea what kind of club or society i should join.
     
  11. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Try talking to people without any purpose other than to have a conversation. A lot of people go into interactions trying to take something (validation or a specific outcome). So before the interaction even starts they're already worried about that outcome not happening. They go into it trying not to get rejected. So they try to act in a way that they think others would like them for. That leads to performing / convincing / compensating / fear / desperation / neediness.

    When you aren't trying to take something or have any outcome in mind, you can talk more freely. Maybe they'll want to talk and maybe they won't want to talk to you. It doesn't matter. You don't need anything from them. You have something to share and they can take it or leave it. No hard feelings. You're just doing what you want to do for fun. You're good with or without that interaction going well.

    This allows you to place more value on your growth and the actions you choose rather than placing importance on outcomes or gaining something from others.

    What I'm telling you to practice above is pretty much training wheels until you can let go of outcomes entirely while still being able to follow your desires fully. Until you can accept that not everything works out in life and that not everybody is going to want whatever you're sharing. When you're able to take more risks, you increases the amount of rejections you get, and that increases the amount of success you get as well.

    Your need for specific outcomes to happen with one specific person is getting in the way of everything. That's perfectionism rather than living in reality where things are messy and unideal.

    I was in a dance class today. An attractive woman was dancing with a man who was quite shy around her. He wasn't shy with everybody else in the class. When I got the chance to dance with that woman, I socialized and had fun with her. What I noticed was she was quite shy herself. She didn't have much eye contact. Amazing dancer though. When she saw that I didn't treat her differently than others, she was able to open up and be real around me.

    Women, attractive women, and people in general all have their own issues and flaws. Be real around others. Don't treat them like something to be attained. There's no amping yourself up or getting into game day mode when you talk to anybody. You just have to get out of your own way.
     
  12. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    Feminazism has indoctrinated society into thinking women's shit doesn't stink.
     
    elevate likes this.
  13. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Every attractive woman that has to deal with a shy person being creepy around them should tell that person how big of a shit they took that morning to snap them the fuck out of their delusional fantasy world.
     
    The Great Safecracker and Kman20 like this.
  14. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I love this reply so much. I actually learned this JUST the other night talking to a female friend. I noticed I always talk or say things hoping to getvher validation but somewhere in the middle of our conversation I just got put up with it and started to talk how I would actually think I’d like to talk and be my own person instead of speaking in hopes of trying to get something out of her. I feel free and like a real individual and like what I was sayig to her actually had leverage instead of being the yes man. I’m practicing starting today and I’m going to keep practicing it. What I want is to have real relationships after all and I guess the risk of rejection is a part of some of that but worth it.
     
    The Great Safecracker likes this.
  15. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I love the nofap community.
     
  16. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    dasit.jpg
     
  17. Paul-E-Sure

    Paul-E-Sure New Fapstronaut

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    That sort of behavior with a total stranger is sexulizing a woman and not seeing her as human. I hold my girlfriend in high regard and that’s because I love her as a person as well as see her as attractive. Thanks to removing porn from my life, my brain is sensitized to her. This is how it was meant to be.

     
    The Great Safecracker and Hitto like this.
  18. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

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    When a guy is just thinking purely sexually, they conflate a woman's physical beauty and her personality, mistakenly thinking that just because she is very beautiful that her personality is as high as her physical attractiveness. A lot of the time her personality is a polar opposite from her physical beauty since she's more than likely used to being catered to by many beta orbiters.
     
  19. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    Lol... Beta orbiters... Afraid to get rejected and set free from her gravitational pull into the dark cold and lonely space. They aren't able to see that there's a bigger universe out there with other opportunities.

    Beautiful women have a lot of admiring fans. Being one of them won't get you what you think you want. If you're being real, you're naturally going to like and dislike things about her rather than idolizing her with hidden intentions.
     
  20. Kman20

    Kman20 Fapstronaut

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    I think I’ve come up with another solution to tie in with everyones here. Working on making my own life great and having a happy life instead of depending on someone else for my happiness. I focus on making myself happy. With this, then I believe I won’t feel as inclined to look for an outcome with an attractive girl to make me happy since I am already happy. Working on my own happiness, not hoping for an outcome, taking risks for rejection, and being real are what I got from everyones comments here and I believe they all make PERFECT SENSE. Now I just need to talk to attractive girls and utilize these methods. Hoping I can stop this stupid fantasized mindset already !
     

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