Just a few questions faptronauts

Hi. Im 15 years old and im also trying not to masturbate anymore, no porn. Well.. i didnt count the days, 1 Month + - 2 days. During this periode i had 2 weat dreams , both in one night. And i was just before to do it. I mean i was watching a porn and i was just about to shot but then i just stopped, i didnt want to give up so early. Now, my question.. does this have the same bad effects as when i really masturbate ? I mean i was just before but i did stop and im not sure if this will have any influence on my "reboot". Hm.. I dont know man. I dont want to have sex with that young age, maybe in 4 or 5 years or so, but how i will be able to be in chastity for so long ? Ok maybe not 4 or 5 years but 1 year for sure and i already had problems with 1 month.. however, my main question i already asked, i was just before to masturbate i mean just 1 more movement and i would come but I didnt, does this have any influence on the reboot. man i dont want to stop my 1 month streak <.<

 

My goal with no masturbation and no porn is to get another view of the world, love, woman, nature just everything. However, I just relapsed anyway but I gained experience in this 1 month and i will not give up to do it now for 2 months. I will live like a monk

 

Thank you hopepeacelove and Man of Honor. It seems like masturbation and porn does have much influence on my life and on the actions I do.. Sometimes i just wish i could " turn off " my sexual drive. Sorry if i wrote it wrong, im learning english. Everybody knows this feel when you masturbate and just after that u say i will never do it again but the next morning you are horny as shit. Im young, youre right man of honor and I shouldnt even think of such things and i dont even want do. I want to do many other things, i want to do more sports than i already do, I want to learn an instrument such like the guitar. My life isnt real something exciting. Im sleeping, eating, going to school and thats it. I mean I want to start living but this obstacle of porn and other unworthy things are really hard to break. I think something in our society and in this system is going wrong. And im not able to break this system of working, sleeping and eating. Sometimes i think my "soul" is ill, infected and that Im lost, i cant see or talk people without remembering this piece of shit called porn and its scenes. I will start learning about east philosophy and religions. Not about the philosophy people made of taoism, the philosophy of taoism itself, unchanged. Or maybe i do my own philosophy and combine it with other. I just want to solve this problem. I never thought how I could get into this vicious circle of something that looked so insignificant. Im really thankful for everybody keeping this movement "nofap" in life. It really helps me.