I have already seen some amazing things happen...

Hey everyone. Devon here. I'm a fairly normal guy with a sales job here in Los Angeles. I'm 36 years old. Been shy around girls most of my life. Father left when I was 14. No role model in my life to demonstrate restraint, discipline, confidence, courage, etc.

Got into porn at 17 years old in 1998, when I went off to college. I guess it's been 19 years now! Yes, it has progressed in terms of it's intensity...shocker.

When I was 30, a very trusted friend of the family, whom I shall call J, introduced me to Mantak Chia's book "Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy". J said he had not ejaculated since 1985! And after reading the book and beginning some of its practices, I can see how he was able to do this, and as a result have boundless creativity and allure with women even into his old age (I think he's 70 now).

Anyway, I want to keep this secular and scientific. I have noticed that the less I ejaculate, the sharper my mind is, I've got a bounce to my step, I'm inspired by life and interested in things, I have more hopes and dreams...not kidding. As I get older, ejaculation just results in longer and longer periods of hazy disinterest and complacency. Also, over the years, my sexual interests have become more and more focused, specific, and kinky. It is very very harmful to "cut" those neural pathways in the brain like that...that's essentially what I have been doing without realizing the danger.

Why I am now a Fapstronaut: I had a relationship for almost 2 years with an amazing woman--and the breakup last month was painful...shortly after it ended, I turned back to porn with a manic intensity (to try and simulate emotional connection, etc)...For a week I was staying up until almost daybreak, searching out more and more hardcore images and clips... and by the end of that binge, I realized that only really hardcore stuff turned me on.

I haven't ejaculated for 16 days now and I'm finally feeling a bit better and I'm getting some morning wood...but I have a long way to go and I want to do this right. I'm here to share with you all that THIS IS POSSIBLE, THIS IS WORTH IT, and the challenges that many of us face as young men are actually not obvious to us, because we've been really twisted up as a culture and there is a royal highway we can take as men to regain self-control, discipline, confidence, self-understanding, strength, and respect with those whom we come in contact.

 

Oh, and now that I know some terminology: This is how things are looking as of today:
Last P: 16+ days
Last O: 16 days
Last M: 1 day

I can't modify the counter to reflect this, so I may have to just set it at zero, since I have occasionally been engaging in M.

and my last sexual contact with someone was 16 days ago and that's when I noticed I was unable to keep an erection during what would otherwise be a quite exciting and stimulating experience. That freaked me out, so here I am. I guess I'd better start with the first challenge!

 

Thanks for the replies, friends. Yeah, very good point about tying too much sense of failure to a counter number, I appreciate that. Making the days count is definitely the point, I hear you. I am already feeling amazing having not ejaculated in over 2 weeks. It is such a strange feeling, very electric, and very very positive.