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HEY EVERYONE,I CONFESSED ABOUT MY ADDICTION TO MY MOM,but it Backfired

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by ThePMOdestroyer, Dec 16, 2017.

  1. Oh, that explains a lot. Unfortunately due to my financial circumstances I am living with my parents. I'm thankful for the support they've given me but I hope things will change I'll able move out sometime soon. But still despite this my parents respect my boundaries. Hope things get better between you and your Mother soon.
     
  2. so i got another shock today.Mom has decided to leave her job and sit at home just because she isnt able to trust me that i wont be accessing any Adult sites when im at home.I tried to talk and reassure her about me needing some discipline but the leaving of job and staying at home is stupid thing to do considering the fact that her earning is important for us.

    I m getting frustrasted now and tired of convincing. and i can talk about this here at nofap only.I feel she is doing wrong . but i am the cause so i cant say anything
     
  3. Tovarasu

    Tovarasu Fapstronaut

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    Well it seems your mom cares a LOT and she is doing everything in her power to help you, even tho she dosent say it her actions are CLEAR yes you should go to psychologist, you said your dad didnt care, well thats a problem there, usually addictions develop to fill in a void, i also had this problem with my dad, they do care but they are emotionally unavailable. Good luck ! you are not alone there are many like you !
    PS never give in to bad thoughts !! keep positive!
     
  4. You may not like how she's helping you but if it works and you kick the porn habit, you should thank her.

    If you don't like it you can always move out...if you're over 18 you are already an adult.
     
  5. yeah thats right . I Also have come to understanding her way of safeguarding me is different but yet effective
     
  6. My dad is non-aggressive .I never had a male role model while growing up .My dad is awesome and friendly but never challenged me or made me feel the need to prove to him my mascukinity.
    I always wanted my dad to be someone who would be Challenging me and yet he will protect when i am aboout to fall.

    I am going to be the dad who would be Challenging to his son and yet he will protect when he is about to fall.
     
    Solitude likes this.
  7. ReZen8ster

    ReZen8ster Fapstronaut

    Although it feels like it backfired I think it was a brave move. Y you to talk about it. At least now you don’t have any secrets. Not many mom would quit a job to help their son, so take advantage of the opportunity to stop looking at porn and stop fapping. Maybe this is the best thing that could have happened to you. What’s your goal to go porn and mastubate free?
     
    Purity of Speech likes this.
  8. Solitude

    Solitude Fapstronaut

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    I’m so sorry that she had to act like that. I think that she just doesn’t understand the struggle that you’re dealing with. I don’t mean to sound like a bigot but I really do think that there are certain male struggles you should never share with the mom or sister or any female family members. Their first instinct is to look down on you as some sort of a deviant or sick individual and not a person struggling with the real issue.
     
  9. Wow. The advice here seems to be all of the place. I would have to agree with one of the earlier posts: everyone is entitled to their opinion.

    That having been said remember, your mom loves you and is trying to help you. Apprise her if your progress. Let her know where you are getting help. And do your best to re-earn her trust.

    The fact that you brought this to her attention (and weren't simply caught) should help with this process.

    Good luck.
     
    pranav02 and SanityOverVanity like this.
  10. my goal to give up Masturbation and porn for life. Also Control My Mind
     
  11. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    thats a unfortunate response but you need to pat yourself on the back man thats a huge thing for a man to do, not all females are understanding so they respond irrationally , if you still live with mom an dad then you just going to hold tight an remain respectful to them , there is fortunate news thou, we can find a mate that does understand us, it well take a few rejections but we well find them, theres females out there that grew up with 3 or more brothers so the weirdness we men go through would be considered normal to those type a gals , im single ,been single , but i do plan on telling the next potential girl friend that yes ive been single for awhile an, that i have been part of nofap because i had a pmo addiction,but im slowly healing,
     
    ThePMOdestroyer likes this.
  12. It’s okay, she doesn’t understand. You know what you’re doing, just tell her you’ll be fine and you’ll handle it on your own
     
  13. i told that to her.Infact she was crying that day saying we taught you good values but now we have failed as parent.

    but i persisted to convince her that i can handle it .I need a backing or support when i need it. I accepted my mistake
     
  14. Tell her to stop it and that you’re looking for ways to handle this, but not in a serious maddening tone, just calm but look slightly concerned.

    Can you tell her that you’ll see a psychologist on your own and have her not follow you or see if you really go or not? Tell her whatever you think will make her get off your ass and do nofap forever, then let her see you change
     
  15. i am going to Go all the way without a psychologist.I have got enough bad experiences to throw away things that dont help me grow and become best version of myself.I have enrolled myself into a huge project and i am the team leader so I wont have time to go Idle and watch P
     
    {Ananta} likes this.
  16. HashMachine

    HashMachine Fapstronaut

    You did nothing wrong @ThePMOdestroyer. It's alright that you confessed it to someone close to you. Don't take your mom's reaction on yourself too hard, it's their love and affection that resulted in the reaction you just felt.
    I can relate your experience with mine because I also told my mom what I was suffering from, after she read my diary entry while cleaning my study table. Since, I had not written explicitly about PMO in the diary, she could not make out what I wanted to express, but then she herself asked me if I had sexual relationship with some girl to which I was awestruck since I never had intimate relationship my entire life till my high school but yeah I'd good friends including girls, and used to tell her about them. I asked her why she had this question in her mind to which she told me about my diary entry. Now, I had no option but to disclose her about the fact that I M, and suffer through those hit backs a lot.
    Though, she was really panic if I'm alright or not, she expressed various facts about this habit and insisted me to stop doing it at once (which is impossible, after all its a habit built over years and not a day's work), and I assured her I would stop this thing soon. It was Aug 2013 when I told her and till now I have reduce the frequency but has not completely eliminated this thing, but I don't find the elimination difficult because nothing is impossible.
    And you told me that she wants you to go to psychologist, tell her that he would rather recommend you to do until it does not become a habit(wtf), because I went to the psychologist on my own without anyone's pressure just to satisfy myself that I'm not bad and that whatever my mom told me about this stuff is wrong in every possible scenario. And he asked me the frequency of M and I told him that I have done it 8 times in past 2 years to which he told me that's normal. I was impressed and in this year itself I did it 14 times , which is too much considering the fact that I fapped for 20 times from class 6 till I went to psychologist. So make your own decision and work onto it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2017
    ThePMOdestroyer likes this.
  17. Khufu

    Khufu Fapstronaut

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    may i ask, seeing you went to a psychologist at your own free will, what did he/she say or what is theyre view on nofap
     
  18. HashMachine

    HashMachine Fapstronaut

    I told that in the thread above.
     
  19. thanks for sharing your experience
     
    HashMachine likes this.
  20. SanityOverVanity

    SanityOverVanity Fapstronaut

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    Man, this hit me so hard. I'm sorry you've had to experience this. There's nothing more painful than being rejected by those who are supposed to love you.

    That being said, it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She simply doesn't understand what PMO addiction is and what it's like to go through.

    Believe it or not but it's your own actions and visible willingness to get better that will bring her round. You've got to meet her half way and compromise on some things she might recommend. And I think seeing a psychologist could be beneficial. And if not then at least someone who you can talk to in confidence.

    Good luck, man. You've got plenty of support here.
     

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