Would finding "The one" help defeat the struggle of porn addiction?

Hey bro, I've actually experienced these feelings myself. Not the worry about harming a girlfriend, but wondering if finding a good mate would help me overcome PMO addiction and fix my loneliness. The truth is, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely is more of a feeling, while being alone is just a measure of physical proximity to other people. In other words, you can have all the friends in the world and still be lonely.

Loneliness is hard to deal with and can certainly trigger PMO. While it might seem logical to find a girlfriend to get rid of the loneliness, you will still have the underlying fears that caused you to feel lonely in the first place--the fear of being alone. A girlfriend may distract you from your loneliness, but it won't cure it, just as porn distracts you from it, but only ends up making it worse.

Everything I said is just my opinion and based on my personal experience, but the big take away is this: if you find contentment and joy in your life being single, then you will be more attractive to women and the relationships you have with them will be much more fulfilling. Focus on yourself bro, especially the internal components, and things will start falling into place.

 

Totally agree....there are times when in my marriage to my wife of 5 years, that we are both lonely. We have a strong relationship but I will admit that porn has weakened our intimacy. And in that regard, when we have sex and I don't feel satisfied with the love of my life because I'm imaging someone else - my friend that is the loneliest feeling in the world. I have more than I deserve but still I cannot let myself enjoy or find happiness in it. This is why I am here.

For you, I would advise focussing on being whole before you give part of yourself away to someone else. No woman out there deserves the burden of "fixing" our addiction, that must come from ourselves. Yes, having a partner who loves you helps a lot - but look around, there are more people than you realize that love you. There always are. It doesn't have to be romantic love for someone to be cheering for you to be the best version of yourself. We all here are cheering for you too.

 

Well said September!

Op I'm in the same boat the loneliness is fucking brutal...what we seek is within ourselves we will not find happiness in someone else, we must look within. Once we can learn to love ourselves we will radiate love instead of fear because that's all there is, is love and fear. Once we have this new energy people will be magnetized to us.