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Was losing your virginity worth the hype?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by beforeseptember, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. HappyDaysAreHereAgain

    HappyDaysAreHereAgain Fapstronaut

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    The drained and empty was the feeling that I had usually experienced after fapping alone. I was surprised that I felt nothing like that after my first PIV shared O. Working together, it was so much more than just a fluid draining experience. Making love is a good description when it is done well, especially when it is a part of a committed, loving, relationship. After the act, there is more connection and love.
     
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  2. WreckTangle

    WreckTangle Fapstronaut

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    I apologize, I didn't read your post right. I get it now and I agree :)
     
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  3. gingeralan

    gingeralan Fapstronaut

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    I think on reflection, i would have to say in my personal experience it was not all that great.

    Don't get me wrong the sensation was great but i think it made me bond with her before i was ready.

    I agree it's better to do while in a committed relationship, but always keep an eye on how your relationship actually is, not just the oxytocin hit that you got when you made love.

    Hope that makes sense
     
    Perry2000 likes this.
  4. Joe blow

    Joe blow New Fapstronaut

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    If you wanna lose it with no moral do it,and no moral meaning lie don't tell her you a virgin till after and butter yourself. If you believe the universe has a woman for relax and wait be geuine.you can lie but the relationship won't be geuine in the first place. Fyi i lied and after i felt empty but sex is great asf.
     
  5. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

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    Pros:
    • Felt good!
    • Felt more "like a man".
    Cons:
    • She was, shall we say, very experienced. Unfortunately, she was impatient with my lack of experience. So it wasn't actually great for our relationship. In fact, it was the main reason she dumped me.
    • Something got "switched on" by having sex. I can't explain it, but once I had sex it became much more of a priority than it ever was when I was a virgin. Go figure.
    • Due to the new awareness of my ability to have sex I spent a lot more time pursuing it, meaning I spent less time doing other productive things. I also wanted to "get good at it", so spent a lot of time, uh, practicing. Basically, the insecurity I had as a virgin was actually magnified after sex for quite some time.
     
    LB_Hawk likes this.
  6. It was one of the worst experiences of my life. I had piles of opportunities with clean girls in high school, no std's, granted I wasn't attracted to them, all I had to do was make a phone call and we would have been having sex in about an hour. Fat friends and what not (hell went out with this chick I had to force myself to kiss as she had a mustache and wasn't transgender, just bud ugly). I passed up one opportunity after another (was a very handsome teenager) because of the "True Love Waits" bullshit at church. I would feel sick when sex was going to happen, terrified that "God" was going to kill me as punishment. So when I lost my virginity, it was to the nastiest skank whore I could find (who by the way, not joking or being sarcastic, is in prison right now serving a life sentence for murder as a boyfriend she had years later, his father didn't like her so she killed him). She had been arrested for prostitution, smelled like corn and marijuana, never brushed her teeth, she was disgusting-had a nice body though. I wasn't worth love after all (that whole "going to hell" crap as I am pitiful/pathetic/useless of my own accord/deserving of death for wanting to fuck, and the whole "less of me more of him" routine), sex is dirty (especially outside of marriage, merely a means to an end as far as child birth). I didn't wear a condom, was worried I was HIV+ for about 2 years after that. Clean as a whistle still to this day (was 19, am 38). Sex is what led to me leaving the church for good. So many people condoned me compulsively lying to these girls. One I wanted (who would flirt with me), wanted to say yes to her, but then would say no to her-but yes to the fat or ugly one. Would NEVER enjoy sex, turn to porn to get sexual gratification, eventually buying a realistic sex doll. No longer angry at the church, will never be a Christian again over that whole fiasco (even had I waited until I was married to have sex, I would have felt like a scum bag for having sex with my wife even if I had married one I was physically attracted to, on some level I felt back then that sex was a disease of the sin nature as the ONLY way to be able to have sex is to experience lust in order to become aroused enough to do the deed and as it said in the Bible "if a man looks upon a woman with lust in his heart he has already committed adultery" and I actually heard a sermon one time from this kooky batshit crazy preacher stating that "if I lust after my own wife then I have committed adultery on God"-as a side note...wherever you are Mr. Preacher...FUCK YOU!!! Feels damn good to type that, wish I could say it to that moronic cock suckers face...). That and so many male friends of mine (at church) telling me bullshit like "some people are just meant to be alone", "God has a plan" (with the assumption being "God has a plan that doesn't involve you having a happy marriage pal"), "there is more to a relationship than just looks" (while his hot young wife who could pose for Maxim is kissing him on the cheek asking him when he will be home for supper), "that is your lust", blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So me lying to these women FROM THE MOMENT I MEET THEM as I have ZERO ZILCH NOTTA feeling of wanting them IN THE LEAST (yet she is my "best friend" and you are supposed to marry your best friend). Now that I think about it I didn't even have any hot female friends in high school. They would flirt with me, then I rejected them, then they ignored me. I am doing nofap to date women I am attracted to. Just looked at porn. Have a realistic sex doll that isn't doing it for me anymore. Things have to get better. At one point I was so depressed about sex I thought of castrating myself. I left the church 13 years ago and at least I no longer hate them to the point of wanting to destroy them over this sex stuff out of a burning and unending desire for revenge. I especially hated the guy friends with the hot wife who would tell me that bullshit I mentioned above when they weren't as physically handsome as me. I have only been with 16 women (and many others if we count blow jobs, hand jobs, so on and so forth). What a way to go through life where sexual fulfillment with attractive females alludes you despite being above average in looks...at least I am not depressed or suicidal over that anymore. The only thing that the people I mentioned I went to church with who say bullshit like they said to me does, is turn their Christian friends into Atheists. I am not an Atheist anymore as I developed a belief in a higher power (more resembling Buddhism), but I will NEVER be talked to like that again especially by the likes of religious people in general...
     
  7. Opportunity For Better

    Opportunity For Better Fapstronaut

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    You sure about that? Your post seems pretty heated!

    So many people get this wrong. First of all, you can't commit adultery by lusting after an unmarried women when you are also single. For adultery to occur, even in the mind, at least one of you has to be married. This verse doesn't apply to single men unless the woman they're "lusting after" is married.

    To 'lust after' doesn't mean lust like we know it today. The context is coveting, just like in the ten commandments where it talks about not coveting your neighbor's wife.

    Basically, Jesus was saying that if you strongly desire someone's wife to the point where you've decided you'd have sex with her then you might as well have done it.

    (That's not to say you should live a life ruled by sexual desire, either).
     
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  8. James0224

    James0224 Fapstronaut

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    Great question! I am a 17 year old virgin and have always wondered the same. Obviously I have not experienced losing my virginity, but I think it is pretty clear that the best way to do it is to do it with someone who you know likes you, someone who you have known for a while and someone you feel comfortable and honest around. That way, you will not feel insecue and awkward with them. If it is a great experience, then awesome! If it is not, then you will be able to be honest and talk to him/her about it because you like each other and have known each other for a bit. It would be great to hear others feedback and stories!
     
  9. LB_Hawk

    LB_Hawk New Fapstronaut

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    Well put, thank you for this.
     
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  10. Yes it was because I lost my virginity to my wife and we've been happily married since.
     
  11. Loui-fap-A-rooni

    Loui-fap-A-rooni Fapstronaut

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    It can be great depending on the intention. I have had at least 10 different sexual partners, some which I had an emotional and actual true connection with and some where we just wanted to animalistically/physically release. It can be great with the right person but draining with the wrong. I also believe our sexual partners can be our greatest teachers in life, as well as our romantic partners. I believe in the law of attraction and that we attract lovers into our life based on what we need to learn, so it can be great but sometimes a harsh look in the mirror. I definitely believe now after what I have learned that connection with ones self should be learned before trying to connect with another. So many relationships (sexual or romantic ) are really superficial and have a toxic codependency factor about them, where they need each other in a very unhealthy way like a drug. You have to learn to fill your own cup mentally,physically,emotionally,spiritually before you try to have those needs met in an external way (wether it be materials, experiences, or a partner. Im on my PMO journey now to learn about myself fully before trying to reconnect and have a true relationship that isnt just based on sex. Ive noticed the longer and longer Ive gone on streaks of PMO, as I learn about myself, I attract different women on my new wavelength. In the past I would attract similar experiences and emotional triggers with different women until I finally started diving deep and trying to connect with myself more (reshaping habits, beliefs, unhealthy patterns, ect)
     
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