Need some Advice!

I need some advice. I might be leaving college for a year because I can't get my pmo under track so I can't concentrate on my work andwhich is making me fall really behind which is making me depressed and stressed so I relapse even more. I love this website for letting me know about the problem of pmo I now see why I never had any motivation whether it be in school or outside of school.When I get a good streak I love learning to the point where its an addiction but each time I relapse I leave reality for virtual stimuli and doing anything even stuff I like becomes a chore which gives me no enjoyment.

So I plan on joining the reserves for a year and going t church everyday so next year I will be better prepared for this. Computer programming is something that takes a lot of mental alertness to perfect but with every pmo session I lose inspiration to learn.

Now what I need advice on now is I upset my mom very much because of the depression I deal with and she keeps asking me why but I don't want to tell her. What do you think should I give her an explanation?
Any imput is greatly appreciated.

 

Thanks guys for all your responses. You guys and ladies make a hard week easier I am glad I have this community. I told my mom I am depressed and need another year before college. She said OK so I am going to take the year off and get some help for this. The problem is I have absolutely no motivation to do anything right now but when I got on a good streak I was the equivalent to a machine.

 

I know what I have to do I am going to go to a help group at church and then get some other help as well. I haven't been happy in my life for awhile but good stretches of nofap really brought out an inner light that I never have felt before. The other good think about my program is I can also learn it online which makes it so even though I will he out of college doesn't mean I have to stop learning in total. I'm shooting for the stars I just feel like for now this is my best option.

 

Anyways thanks again I honestly can't express how much your support means to me.

 

Thanks guys I thought I would tell you all that I have been seeing a social worker and starting to join church circle groups which will help a lot. I feel very positive that I will work on me problems and come out a better man.