Should we do more to spread the word?

I asked myself the same question the other day. I definitely want to show people that PMO addiction is bad but... We are a minority. I'm 22 years-old, all my friends fap at least once/twice a week and they (seem to) have no problems with it, they meet girls, they don't have ED problems, most of them have a girlfriend etc...

So I don't really know. I'd be afraid that people won't believe us anyway, because I wouldn't have trusted this website when I was 13 and everything that mattered in life then was going to school, playing PS2 and taking a bath everyday.

 

Yes, we should. As for how? I'm as stumped as you are.

The nature of the issue makes it a very difficult one to talk to people about in a meaningful way. I'm sure there aren't many here who consider their P addiction easy to talk about. Especially with people we know, but even with strangers, it's very hard to talk about it. Even if we do manage to talk about, though, many people don't want to listen. It's the sort of topic that scares them.

Unfortunately, it is a subject that absolutely needs to be talked about. And when I say "talked about", I mean talked about.

Your idea of posting the TED talk on P videos is noble, but I'm not sure it would have much of an affect, and I think that it would involve risking too much of what you have personally accomplished for a negligible benefit... Most active P addicts are in denial. We know that, because we've been there ourselves. Approaching them on the subject is hard at the best of times. But approaching them when they're scrolling through P and buzzed up on dopamine? Good luck.

I think Gary Wilson's TED talk was the right way to do it. Getting together with people, looking them in the eye, and speaking about the problem. If we really want to help others, I think the best thing we could do would be to get up in front of an audience and tell our stories. Get into schools and speak to kids directly about the issues. It may be hard to get through to them in the midsts of their ranging hormones, but it may be enough to plant a seed that they could possibly think back to a few years down the line when they become disillusioned with life. Of course, it would require incredible courage and charisma for any of us to stand up in front of a crowd and speak of our experiences. It's not something I would expect of even the most upstanding Fapstronaut.

Ultimately, the PMO problem is part of a far greater issue that has arisen in society and popular culture. It amazes me how much the western world has changed in the last five, ten years. I look at my family and friends and see only two well how they have changed in this time. I'm quite young, still in my mid-twenties, but I remember the days when you'd watch a movie and it would either have sex in it or it wouldn't, and if it did the sex scenes would be a 10-second thing. Now virtually every movie has sex in it, and it goes on for far longer. We have popular mainstream movies that approach porn films at times. I'm not trying to be a prude, I'm just the kind of person who looks at these kinds of thing and asks "what is going to be the greater, long-term effect?".

As an example, one really, really big thing in popular culture these days is Game of Thrones, which has copious amounts of sex. Not only that, but experts in psychology and sociology theorise that the copious amount of sex and cite it as a reason why the series is so popular. Some people call it the "pornification" of society, but it's far more than that. It's not just about sex. It's about escapism, and it's a huge social issue. We are living in an escapist society, and it's increasing at an alarming rate. Our lives have become so pointless that we now try to hide from reality by constantly bombarding ourselves with stimulation. Every thing is about gratification now, and gratification that is above all instant. We as a people live in a made up world of movies, television, Internet, celebrity, social media. And of course, of P. P is, needless to say, one of the biggest escapist tools out there. As technology has turned our lives boring and meaningless, we've turned back to technology in our attempts to fill those lives back up.

At NoFap, many of us are trying to stem this tide at the very least within ourselves. When we talk about replacing P and other senseless time-wasters with more meaningful and beneficial pursuits, we are talking about reverting to a lifestyle free of this escapism. We may greatly improve our lives in the process, but the world is not ready to listen. Society has flung itself head-long into escaping the unimpressive reality it has built for itself, and it's only when particularly perceptive individuals become disillusioned and notice that they are no happier avoiding reality than they were within it, that they are spit out to begin their search for a more meaningful life.

This quote from Siddhartha really says all there is to say: "Wisdom is not communicable. The wisdom which a wise man tries to communicate always sounds foolish. Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, be fortified by it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it."

But there's no harm in trying.

 

I also think that uploading these TED talks to the famous tube sites won't change anything because those videos wouldn't show up there even for a minute. I don't know how the internet porn industry really handles this, but I'm fairly sure every tube site has a few 'hardcore' guys who watch EVERY video getting uploaded. This is the only way I can think of to keep these sites 100 % child porn free. I mean, they don't want to get bad press of the child porn kind. That would get them some serious legal trouble.

Great post, Erboinq. Did you read the book Alone Together by Sherry Turkle? I didn't I was just asking.

There's also a TED talk by her

 

OP makes a good point on raising awareness to this. I mean, obviously the internet really made this issue out of control - kids growing up today will have an even harder time if they ever choose to quit porn. Back when I was 13, getting my hands on porn was either sneaking a magazine into the bathroom (mind you, mostly frontal nude) or wait for the rare opportunities when parents would travel or whatnot to watch a real porn movie.


I wonder what's gonna be the impact on future adults that grew up with unrestricted access to pornography, including all the dysfunctional types..

 

Like Morpheus said in The Matrix, "You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it." And while I most definitely agree that porn and sex addiction are very important topics that need to be talked about, we have to be careful about it. This society is still very much porn-friendly. Bringing it up randomly with a friend won't do the trick, and will probably just piss them off. They have to want to quit, to want to see the truth. And when they do (not if but when), we'll be here and ready for them.

On the other side, if you can tell that porn is becoming a real problem for one of your friends, then do your job as his/her friend and bring it up. You wouldn't tell a person who likes to drink occasionally about the dangers of alcoholism, but you should definitely tell an alcoholic.

Just my two cents.

 

OP - I'm not into that globalist BS, but I guess the motto "Think globally, act locally" may be applied here.

I agree in that trying to convince regular porn users who don't seem to have any problem with it is pointless. Instead I would advocate for a different stance with which I already managed to convince one my friends into complete abstinence and even marital sex restraint:

Just make it look like living a porn-free life is natural to you and conforms to your aesthetic standards. Don't make it look like pornography is a disease that you're curing/cured yourself from. Make it look like it's your conscious choice and long-term preference to live in abstinence. That will impress others and you will become an example for those still uncertain of what they want their lives to look like - those who see the point behind not wanking but somehow aren't yet convinced that life without it is actually possible and comfortable.

What I believe NoFap stands or at least should stand for is not a medical website for addicts. It should resemble a lifestyle, a mentality free from oversexualization that ultimately leads to sex-related addictions. Therefore, when approaching a porn lover, the point is not to say "watch out dude, you might get an ED from this". Instead you could play the morality note by saying "Dude, have you ever thought about long-term social consequences of pornification of culture?" Or the aesthetic note that I often personally prefer: "Ugh, I hate watching promiscuous bitches selling their bodies, just the thought that my daughter could be like that disgusts me".

So, there is always this dilemma in social circles: should I stand out against porn in a conversation with peers and risk being perceived as a bigot, or should I just fit in and conceal my little problems assuming I am a medical exception and shouldn't really be considered in the large image?

My answer is: define your preferences and have the noble courage to voice them wherever applicable. Unless you think NoFap is just to limit the risk of getting ED. In that case you've just wasted a few minutes reading my post.