RawheadRex

I've been addicted to internet porn since about 2003, and heavily so since about 2006. I did not see it as a problem for many years, but I eventually found myself in the depths with it and have also received some serious wake-up calls. Not until 2014 did I realize how gravely serious this matter had become, and, while I have made significant improvements since then, I still struggle with the compulsion to immerse myself in my addiction to both the internet and internet porn. To make matters worse, I have a lot of OCD kinda problems, the woman I love more than anything in the world is sexually disabled in a very physical way, and the stress of many other aspects of life has piled on more with every recent year, so I know I really need to deal with this. I've lurked around here numerous times, reading things on the message boards. This week in particular has been a slip back in the old direction, and so I felt like I should probably just sign up.

Let it be known that I do not believe that porn is necessarily bad, and, in fact, I refuse to believe it. However, I have learned from the experiences of myself and others that it can become a serious problem for some people in this internet age, and it can have profound impacts on people's minds and lives. I believe that porn is one of many products that the internet uses to keep people hooked, as only the internet can.

Having read some a while back about the neuroplasticity of the brain, I was somewhat relieved to see that some of the habits I picked up can be reversed. I am now here to give and receive support.

My goals are basically to not feel the need for porn; to cease the withholding of intimacy in my relationship; to get my GED; to become the person I feel deep inside that I was meant to be. And all of this without becoming a sex-negative prude who feels he has to live in shame everyday. That "born again" righteousness can come even without religion, and I aim to steer clear of it. My feelings on these things are morally neutral; I merely want to find my way out of my own maze and regain some things I lost along the way.

Also, I'm a musician, a writer, and a would-be filmmaker. I'm into Psychotronic movies, as well as Psychotronic music.