Cdeezb

For over 20 years I've allowed PMO to be a part of my life, and for the majority of that time I've used it to cope through many things. The irony is that using PMO as a means to cope, I've possibly cultivated a weaker life than I'm capable of living. I'm transitioning from 30 to 31, I now have no issue with gaining the respect of my peers or family, nor am I out of a relationship. The attention of the ladies is easily gained. My issue is deeper and stems from a time of divorce, suicidal desires, abuse, improper religious upbringing, neglect, and poor coping outlets / mechanisms, porn being the daily go-to. I can have sex multiple times a day, but still I often need to be alone and find my awkward center in PMO.

I've come a long ways, from PMO every day, often multiple hours a day once I get off work or on the weekends, to now a week or so between sometimes and gaining. My concern and desire to abstain from PMO is on the grounds of moral, spiritual, and personal development. I often greatly dislike what I find on the internet, with so many years in the material often escalates to things that don't represent my interest. I often feel that I trade a chemical rush for guilt, disappointment, and an overall weaker life. The trade off is greatly imbalanced now as I'm a respected, hardworking, capable man, who's family and community are quickly looking towards my rise into a patriarch type position, even depend on my capabilities and strengths. PMO is now a greatly weakening and immature means to dealing with the few straggler demons from my adolescence and younger years. Time to move into my full man body and further become a creator of life for myself and as a result to greater supplement other peoples as well. Time to be the man I always was looking to look up to as a kid but never found.