1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Post published by Class Endorsements

Hello everyone. Very traumatized newcomer here. After being introduced to porn as a child by a rather disgusting relative, as well as being subjected to physical, mental, and sexual abuse, I hid my porn addiction from the world for almost 30 years, allowing the devil to own that part of me while I outwardly lead an otherwise normal and successful life. Recently my porn addiction came to light, and my world is turned upside down. I'm trying to quit porn and masturbation while dealing with the most stressful life experiences I have ever experienced by far...Far worse than I ever thought I would be dealing with. I'm on day 2. Right now, aside from the extreme difficulty in preventing myself from slipping back to that old familiar stress reliever, I'm devastated at the thought that people will take the entirely of my life at a glance and say "Well, sure he did some good things and we thought he was a nice guy, but I guess he's actually just a disgusting sex/porn addict." I don't feel like the world really understands that one can be both, and that one can be addicted to porn without ever intending to act out the things they've seen. I would die before ever touching anyone other than my wife... But I'm the only one who knows for certain that what I just said is true.

My love and devotion to my family has kept me from seriously considering suicide, but the thoughts still creep in from time to time. I never thought I would say that or be in this situation.

I'd love to join a physical sex addict group and go to meetings, but it looks like that's just not in the cards for me right now.

So I'm here. I'm hoping that I can at least get this part of my life under control to keep the stress from overtaking me. If you can pray for me, please do; I've never needed it more. If you can make some time to send a few encouraging words my way, please do. If you can be an accountability partner for me and help me to finally reach outside of myself to start to solve this problem, that would be a real blessing to me. Thanks for taking the time to read this, and may a God bless you all abundently.
Walk_it_out more_vert
Walk_it_out
Hey brother welcome here.. I know the circumstances could be better but we are glad to have you..I know you are in a lot of pain, shame, guilt etc and I just want to let you know that as bad as it is, it can get better..We all have those rock bottom low points but let it be the fuel to cause you to rise out of the pit of porn and masturbation. We are in this boat together and you are in a great place here with us..be active and give your whole heart as I can see you are ready to do. Many good men here this truly is a blessed place..praying for you my brother
Grandpa61, Mystery Man and jenthleth like this.
1 Tes. 4:3 more_vert
1 Tes. 4:3
Hi brother. As painful as this is, it seems you touched ground and have started to walk in the right direction. You can PM me if you need a partner. I prayed and will keep praying for you.

You are not alone, we are a community here. And Jesus is with you always.
Dmodee more_vert
Dmodee
My heart really goes out to you. I still don’t want to be here, not suicidal, just hopeful. But there are things that need done, and it is His good will that they be done through people.
Tao Jones more_vert
Tao Jones
The awakening, when it comes, is often a rude one. The truth will always come to light. It can feel brutal and traumatic when it happens. Nonetheless, this is the best thing that could have occurred. Your feet have been forcibly set at the start of the path. What you will choose to do in response is up to you. We are here to support you in any way we can. The first few steps will be excruciating. Your life will never be the same. But the Way does get easier, the journey becomes a joy, and you will find that the best days are ahead of you. Welcome to the journey towards freedom. If I can be of service, feel free to message me directly.
Myfortress more_vert
Myfortress
Having this come into the light is the thing that needed to happen so that you can repent and go get the life God has for you. I'm sorry that it unfolded in such a traumatic way for you. In the long run it is better than keeping it a secret where the enemy stays in control and keeps you imprisoned. I'm praying for you.
Grandpa61 more_vert
Grandpa61
I’m praying for you my brother. I found the following post a real game changer for me. https://yourbrainrebalanced.com/for...ughts-on-rebooting-extremely-long-post.15558/
Dmodee more_vert
Dmodee
Sins promises turn to bitter fruit, always seems we get what we want, then don’t like what we got. Now standing on the promises of Christ my savior. So far so sweet.
Grandpa61, Tao Jones and Mystery Man like this.
freedom11645 more_vert
freedom11645
Welcome brother. First, I will be praying for you. C.S. Lewis said that no man truly knows how bad he is until he tries to be good. Take heart that merely recognizing your sin delights the Lord, and he has promised he will not only meet you in your shame, but lift you out of it. I want you to remember that the Lord delights in you, even in your failure. Most importantly, he chose you, knowing every act of sin you would ever commit. We are here with you, every step of the way
Mystery Man more_vert
Mystery Man
Hey brother. I am sorry to hear what you are and have gone through. I too believe it or not are in the same boat and most of what you said had happened to me.
Grandpa61 and Walk_it_out like this.
Mystery Man more_vert
Mystery Man
I just want you to know bro that you are not alone and I am here for you too. I am on day 6 and struggling heaps but God is good. This has been the longest time I have stayed away from PMO. So if I can do this so can you brother. Feel free to private message me anytime
Grandpa61, Walk_it_out and Tao Jones like this.
ArsenalAffliction more_vert
ArsenalAffliction
Don't worry brother, you will be in my prayers.
CI-MA more_vert
CI-MA
Praying for you, and please believe, however difficult the crisis with PMO rebooting is, there definitely are people @NoFap , whose situation was at least as difficult or, God prevent, even worse. Never give up hope. God will provide a way and give relief.
Class Endorsements more_vert
Class Endorsements
I deeply wish that I had the time to respond to each and every one of you, the love and concern in each of your heartfelt responses was not lost on me. Thank you.
Class Endorsements more_vert
Class Endorsements
Honestly, I never thought about how difficult it would be to completely stop all this stuff because I had wholeheartedly given God the chance to remove it from me, I just tried to do it myself and couldn't last more than maybe three weeks at the longest. My brain is now hyper sensitive to things that are in any way associated with sexuality, trying to convince me that "one more time" won't be a problem
Class Endorsements more_vert
Class Endorsements
But it is a problem... It is THE problem. I'm on day 3 and it feels like I'm being dragged through a meat grinder. But guess what, gents...I realized something: as much as I hate to admit it, as horrible as my situation is, I am forced to face the very real possibility that I could have...I WOULD have gone the rest of my life letting this rock get slowly eroded away by the enemy through porn. My very SOUL has been in jeopardy, and would have continued to be until my last breath, if it came to that. He made a way for me
Class Endorsements more_vert
Class Endorsements
I now pray that he makes straight paths for me, because as a man I am broken and incapable of making this journey on my own...I can't even see how it is possible for me to make it. Now is a great time for miracles, that is for sure! God will carry me.
Class Endorsements more_vert
Class Endorsements
Psalm 40:1-3 : I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined until me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise until our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord.
Dmodee more_vert
Dmodee
Thank you, that has helped me from relapsing at this moment.
Dmodee more_vert
Dmodee
This( and all sin) is an assault on the conditions of expressing true love. As He Himself tried to clarify for us when telling of commandments
Mystery Man and Grandpa61 like this.
Grandpa61 more_vert
Grandpa61
You are among friends and brothers. I’m praying for you! I love all of you brothers!