First NoFap Success story! 30 days and 14 hours YES! Female success story!

Oh my gosh! Through the 3 dreams of MOing and the many MANY urges to relapse and the temptations and the few times I felt sad and or scared and wanted to MO to oblivion but didn't...I have made it to 30 days, people! (and 14 hours!)

One of the things, cheesily enough, that has kept me going HAS been the thought of posting my very own success story on here. Now, it's hardly gonna be Shakespeare and yes, I have been typing in my NoFap journal A LOT but oh my gosh! FINALLY!

Some of the things that have helped are thinking of my reasons why, the support from others on here and when possible, keeping myself busy.

Basically, I joined NoFap sometime about March, April, May anyway so I relapsed pretty quickly, possibly within a week, actually it could have been even WORSE! Like after TWO DAYS! THEN! I let that relapse last 7 months.

Sooooo then, 7 months later, in November the year just gone! one day I had made a list on one of my reddits of things I wanted to do. At the end of the day, I looked back at my list. I'd spent five hours in MO and sex chat and pretty much done nothing on my list. Oh WOW I was SO angry at myself. I felt SO much regret. Just at that waste of time. All the little goals I'd abandoned. And it WASN'T the first time. I decided I had had ENOUGH.

So, I went here and decided to try again. Take Two!

By Day 15, so my second streak lasted a lot longer, I relapsed again.

I thought about abandoning NoFap again. I really briefly thought about lying but very quickly dismissed that, I know I'd hate how it felt. And I knew that if I DIDN'T reset my counter and reach out for help, I wasn't gonna beat that streak. There was just NO WAY.

So, I did that. I felt AWFUL. When I relapsed, well actually, it DIDN'T feel as amazing as I had imagined and it was a few minutes rather than the hours I'd imagined when I gave in, and while I felt relief when I relapsed and I felt like, F... it, I don't CARE if I've relapsed, so what? Well, the NEXT day I felt regret at those 14-15 days down the drain. And I'd been making the most of it, you know? I've been forming awesome online NoFap connections and that REALLY helps and I'd been going ice skating and to karaoke more - partially to get out of the HOUSE and away from TEMPTATION! So I had been getting these things out of it and of course I had these strong urges, almost unbearable at times, but I went into a chatroom that I used to use for dual purposes. Yes, it is a sex chat room, but people sometimes do normal chat and I'd usually ask the horny guys for guy advice! But sometimes I got tempted into sex chat. So, that happened, but I didn't give in. Then, a skype contact wanted to sex chat, even though I told him I was doing NoFap! and lo and behold, after that, I blew it. BOOM! GONE!

So, yeah I reset my counter.

TAKE THREE!

And, again, sometimes, it's been really, really difficult to stay on track. Like I said, I've dreamed about MOing three times now, it's like my brain's trying to trick me! Sometimes my body has very strong urges. And I also had a couple of guys -- one from my old sex chat got in touch and wanted to sext again and the other was the one who promised a date, but in the end he was just lying to try and get nudes. But he showed me a nude photo of him PLUS he has a gorgeous face (if that's even really him) and I got blue petal that day, blue "lady balls" I actually had some pain down there as I was so turned on and couldn't act on it!

Talking to APs and in general other Fapstronauts has been EXTREMELY helpful to me. I gave up that sex chat room after the relapse, and I LITERALLY CRIED about it, cos as i said, I used to ask them for advice! And I've been in that room 3 years! But I KNEW I HAD to let it go. So I did, tears and all

So, yeah, in the kik groups I'm in we message each other when we're tempted, sometimes it helps. And to me it's a nice substitute after giving up the interactivity of the sex chat - I DON'T mean a p sub at all because it's not, it's in one case all women and in other cases mixed groups and it's nice to have chat that isn't "tainted" by hyper sexual stuff. I'm also the ONLY woman at the moment in one group in which all the others are guys, nope not saying that group's name cos it like it that way cos it motivates me not to let the side down. And as much as I want every guy in that group to also succeed at this, I'm going to give them all a run for their money.

Also, people on here have been AMAZING. Of course, my APs have been but even anyone who's replied to me, what a wonderful community this is, and I find it REALLY, REALLY helpful.

I almost wanna put this in two parts cos it is so LONNNGG but nah.
Here are the benefits I've noticed so far:

ENERGY: I DO feel an energy boost. But, that might also been me increasing magnesium-rich foods (I've figured out I was magnesium-deficient, a lot of the symptoms applied. But I also THINK as well as zinc - you guys lose more but we women lose it too when we MO - MAYBE magnesium gets lost too, I don't know. Plus I was off work for a big part of this so could sleep in more.

EXTRA TIME: Again, yeah I was on holidays, but even when I was at work, I USED TO spend big chunks of time, sometimes, on weekends or holidays schlicking and waste some time, you know? The self improvement section has some good stuff and I thought YES! I wanna re-invest some of that freed up time from giving this up back into my own self-improvement. So I have been doing little things there. Like gratitude lists, practising singing and other stuff.

AND, I DO think guys, some guys, ARE noticing me a little bit more, but not drastically. In some cases, even GIRLS!

I've replaced that toxic sex chat room with this amazing NoFap community and I'm loving the connections made there.

And also, as well as my NoFap journal, I'm typing a little bit more. Which is good.

A few times, when I had the house to myself, instead of having a play, I'd spend some extra time practising my karaoke songs and in a way it's paid off cos on Friday night after I sang my first song, I was asked if I am involved in musical theatre, am I a singer.

And i think giving up THIS habit, as someone said to me it would, makes it easier to give up other bad habits or more take up or re-take up more GOOD ones.

Not about to get "cocky" ha ha I'm a female anyway but you know what I mean!

But 30 days in, and (not without a LOT of help and effort!)
so far, I'm doing NoFap....

 

Great to hear you're 30 days without MO! But I'm interested, from a female perspective, and I hope this is okay to ask, is it the P or the relationships/connections that is an appeal to you? Guys are visual, I get that, but what is the appeal from a female perspective? Hope this is not an inappropriate question - I'm honestly just really curious. I've always heard/thought women are non-visual? If this is inappropriate, please don't respond... I've just never sexted or been to sex chat rooms... But I can see there's probably a real thrill there... Interactive, while at the same time somewhat (or totally?) anonymous...

 

The appeal of it? I don't know, you know. I've personally never been into porn, in fact I find it pretty boring, but I know that there are women on here who used to really love it.

I'm not that visual, (although I DO like handsome men!) so that could be part of it. Maybe the interactivity, I don't know. It IS pretty anonymous, but on the other hand, the few times those guys DID send me a photo of them I would think yep REALLY NOT my type. I guess some of them wrote quite creatively, maybe that's part of it too, the fantasy?

I honestly don't even know and there were plenty of times that I would do sex chat and find it REALLY BORING and same-y!

Part of it might be the attention perhaps, I really do not know what the appeal even is!

Actually, I think I do.

Porn is very voyeuristic and I'm not really much of a voyeur. It's often about some OTHER chick getting laid or whatever, it's not about me. Whereas, I guess the sex chat was more personal, I was actually involved.

Having said that, yes I hate it if an online dating guy or any guy pretends to be interested in me and want to meet and really he's just after nudes and a wank. Cos it gets my hopes up for nothing. But I was always honest about it myself.

 

Fascinating. Thanks for the response. I could see sexting and sex chats as being thrilling too. There's the element of interaction/excitement! Ugh, hope I don't get pulled into that. Probably a trigger...

For me, porn has some sort of thrill. And I realize now how damaging it is. Been on this site for a few days now and it's extremely helpful. I realize this site is the thing in my life that I've been missing that's going to help me heal. After some major ED issues with my girlfriend, which are likely either related to MO/desensitization or PIED, I'm realizing porn is a real problem for me. My girlfriend tells me porn does nothing for her either. But from my perspective, boring porn that doesn't impact PIED as much they say is to just view two dimensional images. They say PIED rears its ugly head much worse when guys view three dimensional videos. At any rate, all porn or any type of addiction is a huge waste of time. Now, I'm "wasting" my time on this site. lol...

Thanks again for the response...

 

Don't you dare!

It's a HUGE time suck, plus you have a real woman to have sex and a relationship with. Don't through it away for sex chat OR porn with people who can't give you those things and they're not her. Stick with NoFap and get your ED sorted and your life BACK! And think of the things you could be doing INSTEAD!

 

it is not all about semen dude.. porn affects women and men psychologically..

 

OK, fair enough, there's not much written about the negative effects of female over-masturbation compared to what there is out there on male over-masturbation, I'll find a couple of links later but off the top of my head, here are some ways that i have been negatively effected and why I am quitting. In no particular order except for whichever order they pop into my brain: (By the way, there seems to be VERY little research at all about not ONLY the positive benefits of NoFap for women but also the content of female erm cum. Sorry for the term, I don't think female ejaculation is the correct technical term. I have found a couple of things on that too though but there is VERY little to go on. But I did see it say somewhere, and later on I can find the source, that there may be zinc loss for us too and I'm also trying to figure out if we lose magnesium and if you do too (through fapping, etc.)

Porn affects women too, yes it does. I DIDN'T use porn as I find it very boring BUT I DID used to have a thing with sex stories and with sex chat. But there are elements of both that - including in the way it used to be for me - had quite a negative effect psychologically even though I found erotic and I'm still trying to change some of that. Most of us don't MO in a vacuum, we usually don't think about for e.g. our shopping list! But the things we DID did it to, our mental stimuli were often quite mentally and emotionally unhealthy IMHO. Well, I'll speak for my own situation YMMV.

So, there's two points already: I lost zinc and possibly magnesium through it. My mind has been negatively effected - not my BRAIN! my mind, my thoughts around certain things - negatively effected by what I used to get off to and I NEED to reboot my mind.

I suffer from SA a bit (social anxiety) a bit myself, as I've seen is not that uncommon on here. I think that for some reason - maybe several reasons - some guys who fapped lost a lot of confidence (I'd say or it was the other way around, but then why do they seem to GAIN confidence socially after quitting) but i can relate & I'm seeing some examples of some other women here having similar issues. My impressions are that fapping (or the female version, schlicking) somehow adds to social anxiety if a person has it or maybe even causes it. JUST A THEORY. And going NoFap can ease that. Not always, but there does again seem to be a link.

I read that it affects our sex lives in a negative way. We can lose sensitivity "down there" and it can be harder to orgasm when we have sex for real. I think that most women do NOT want to have THAT problem. Contrary to popular belief, some of us actually LIKE sex!
And like you male Fapstronauts, we don't want this addiction of PMO/MO to make our sex lives suffer any more than you do!

The biggest reason of all, though, for me is that it was a HUGE time suck.
When I got angry enough to try NoFap again for the second time, it was because I'd had a list of my own goals for the day, things that were good for me, enjoyable & might move my life a tiny bit forward.
But NO! I got horny and played in sex chat for 5 hours instead. Later on when I looked at that list of all the things I WANTED to do instead, I got angry, I got SO angry at myself and i was like FUCK THIS SHIT, it HAS to STOP. If I don't I'm gonna have the same crappy life i have now because i will not have the time and energy to CHANGE it.

I also wanted more energy and actually so far I DO seem to be getting that. I still yawn but I'm noticeably less tired than i was. Like i felt EXHAUSTED a lot. I still did at various points in this NoFap journey and OK I've had a break from work and eating a bit better, but I feel more like a person who has the energy to DO stuff now and HAVE that balance life of which I dream, even after a hard week at work.

And quitting THIS habit is growing my self-discipline enough to get me more getting rid of or reducing OTHER bad habits and time sucks, and doing MORE of the GOOD ones, that I was mostly procrastinating before. Someone said to me on here something like, it may not sound very sexy but in doing NoFap, you get more discipline and you can then apply THAT to OTHER areas of your life and thus IMPROVE it! i feel I'm starting to see that already.

It's not a reason why I started it, but, in the main, I am finding the NoFap community to be very positive and healthy and helpful and it's a huge change from having TOXIC online interactions with others in sex chat. Now I'm having more of a balance, and relating to guys online in a healthy, positive, BALANCED way. And we help and support each other. Personally, i don't think that being ADDICTED to porn or in my case erotica and sex chat helps one to find healthy relationships in the big wide world AT ALL. FAR from it! Anyway, it didn't for me!

Furthermore, there are 30 pages (I think?) of success stories on NoFap and yet only about 7 of them, maybe 8, are by women. I want to know and I NEED to KNOW for MYSELF if WOMEN get any "NoFap super powers too."
I want to be a freaking man-magnet! But even if that DOESN'T happen, I have given enough reasons why!

Sooooo all of THAT is why I do NoFap!

 

SO true! Like i said, I didn't use porn because I found it very boring (I'm also not very voyeuristic at all) but the erotica and sex chats affected me psychologically and I'm STILL trying to shake some of that.