How to get a girlfriend 101

Hello brothers,

I have read a lot of threads in the section "Loneliness". People struggle to find a partner and end up in depression, selfdoubt and sometimes even selfhatred. This makes me sad, real sad. So I thought that maybe making a thread about finding a partner could help people out.
If you are lonely and sad and want to change something then keep reading.
If you don't want to change something than stop reading.

First of all I should make some things clear. This is not supposed to be a manual on how to get laid. I am writing this to ease the pain of which I have read so much in the past weeks. This is supposed to make girls notice you in another way. How you use this is of course your own decision.
Secondly, I am writing this for desperate people in need of help. I don't care if some of this doesn't apply or if you have a friend who does what I tell you not to do and gets all the chicks. This is supposed to higher the chances for wide range of people. The individual means nothing.
Thirdly, I will be harsh and I have dark humor. If you are easily offended please click this link and you will be redirected to cat video instead.


Who am I to write such a manual?
I am the little brother of 3 sisters. I peaked into the essence of the female soul and saw all its beauty and horror. It should be noted that I had many female companions throughout my life and never had problems in any way when it came towards women. I have seen what friends of mine do wrong and I have seen how little effort it takes to better oneself in a way to become more attractive to the opposite sex.

Just one thing before we get started. Women are not objects. They are usually better at reading facial expressions then men and they notice when you think of them us stupid little girls.

Lets start.

1. It is your fault
This is the truth. Sorry. I know you have all been getting advice like "be strong brah!" and "be yourself brah" "just try harder brah". Lately I have been reading stuff like "who needs women to be happy? Yeah lets give up on women". The entire internet is complaining about the friend zone and people all over the globe are whining.
No. The only reason why you, after a thousand generations of your ancestors mating like rabbits with each other, seem to be the dead end of aeons of shagging is not because all of a sudden women are all "stupid whores who only like assholes" but it is you.
The sooner you get this into your head the easier it will be to mend this problem. You have to accept that something is wrong before you can fix it.
You will have to change. If you don't want to change than this thread is not for you. Stop reading and go watch cats on youtube. See the link above.
If you continued reading this than you have accepted that there is a problem. I will be harsh and blunt, but I know my methodes work.
Lets do this bro.

2. We don't dress well
Most men don't have a hand when it comes to fashion. Chances you are one of them. I know I am. There is however I way how to fix this.
Wear clothes that fit. The size you are wearing right now is probably to large. If you have a sister or female friend, take them with you and go shopping if not ask a salesperson and explain them what you want. Figure out your size. This sounds trivial but is of the utmost importance.
It is important that the clothes fit! If you are skinny you will look better with a fitting shirt than with a huge shirt. It will just make you look skinnier.
If you are fat a shirt won't make you appear to be thin. Where does this logic even derive from? Size matters.
You should be buying one colored shirts. Jeans that don't look worn out, don't have holes and are simply decent. Don't do all this fancy crap. You suck at it.
Shoes are also very important. Girls look at shoes all the time - it is scary. Get decent, normal shoes. Running or sports shoes are not what we are looking for.
What we want to achieve is a timeless neat, clean, decent look. It never goes out of style and it is never shitty.
-one colored shirts and tops
-pants that are one colored, not torn or worn out
-shoes that look decent
If it fits it will make you look better then the pasty nerd with his long hair and band shirt. Sounds familiar? Thought so bro.

3. We don't smell good
While we sit infront of our PC and let one rip while having our dinner in lonely solitude, girls light candles that make their room be smell like unicorns. Now spot the difference.
Girls smell better then we do. Fact. If a guy walks past a girl and smells good, girls will turn around.
Start smelling good today.
Take a shower every day use only very little body lotion and a sponge and shower your entire body. Every day. Wash your hair every day. If you have some sort of skin condition get less aggressive shampoo and body lotion.
Use deodorant. Every day.
If you want to smell good and have a bad sense of smelling, like I do, don't use perfume use face lotion. I use Weleda.
After your daily shower, with shampoo, body lotion, deodorant and face lotion we need good smelling clothes. Then we brush our teeth. Twice a day. If you have bad breath girls run like the devil himself is chasing them.
How do we get good smelling clothes? By using a little bit more detergent and by hanging them up in way that the clothes don't overlap. Otherwise they will smell old and bad.
I was told that my clothes often smell moldy by a roommate and she explained that it is because I use to little detergent and always fling my clothes on the drying line like I don't care. The truth is I didn't care. Because I didn't know. This shit should be taught in school, but nooooo I need to know that an objects falls towars the floor.
No shit sherlock.
Follow these rules and you will not smell bad. Ask a friend, mother, female or male friend who you trust. Tell them you want them to be honest. They are not helping you by being polite.
Stop smoking. Your hands and your breath will smell bad. Your clothes will smell bad and your car and apartment will smell bad. Stop it. I don't give a shit about your health, only your smell. Want to up your chances of smelling good? Don't smoke.
There are two groups of people that are endangered to bad smell.
The first is fat people.
Listen fatbros, be mindful towards this take your deodorant and your face lotion with you. You produce sweat as if you were frightend that McDonalds abolishes supersize.
The second is black people.
I don't know why, I don't care why. I don't want there to be a debate about race in this thread. It is what girls tell me. Listen blackbros get onto this! I told a blackbro of mine and he was horrified. Now he smells like the unicorn candles.
If you have just been offended by my last couple of sentences there is a cat video on the top of this post for you.

4. Hair
Yes, yes I know. You have long hair and a beard because you will be in Valhalla soon. Or you are a tree hugger or a animal-lover or whatever.
Listen bro, I love you I really do and that is why I have to say this: I don't care if you are a punk, hippy, viking, celt, wiccan, emo, metaler, pirate or whatever. The truth is your hair looks like a abstract art project. Cut it. Seriously, man that want to express their souls towards their apperance are just ridiculous. Get a grip on your life. Grow up. Women want a man, not a boy. You can only pull this off if you have a sense of fashion and if you did you wouldn't be desperate to find a girlfriend.
Cut it.

Facial hair is a different issue. I now this hippster trend is making everyone believe that a beard is manly or something, but the truth is a good looking beard is cost intensive. You need skill and determination to work it properly. Just growing it isn't enough. You don't look manly if you look unkept or like those cudle panda hippsters. Also you will never look like a lumberjack from the northern part of the world if you never chopped wood in your life. So please, please don't do it. Remember, we are looking for the timeless, neat, decent, always in style look. No experiments.
Shave.

5. Be yourself
I mean it. I know, I know this sounds like I am mocking you after I told you to torch your old clothes, cut your hair and - dear lord - get into contact with water and soap, but I do mean it.
Women do not care if you are a nerd, geek, athlet or pigeon collector. They seriously don't. They want what you want. Someone to love and someone to love them back. Listen to them. Ask questions show interesset if you have some, but don't fake it to much. Just talk about yourself and let them talk about themselves. Make them laugh.
They love laughing.
You are a person that is on a NoFap website. There IS strength in you. There IS willpower. Otherwise you wouldn't be here. You are a better man now. Be proud of yourself brother.
However, don't be yourself to much at one sitting. "I like videogames" is enough. They don't need to know how many tries it took to kill some boss in your newest MMORPG and how many cool new attributes your new sword has.
Don't tell them stuff if they can't follow. They just want to talk with you. Both ways. So talk.
You don't need to lie. Just don't give them an overdosage of yourself. Let them know your madness little by little.
They like being part of the conversation. They won't tell you for about an hour that they were looking for black highheels and couldn't find the right ones. And by god there are never black highheels like they imagen them. Never.

6. Get comfortable around girls
Just be comfortable, thats it. Go out there and get some.
Hopefully you just paniced a little. Of course I do have a solution at hand. We will need to engage with women at a close distance on a regular basis in order to get used to it. How do we do this? Well first we need to meet some girls.
Go infront of abortion clinics, the ones with tears in their eyes will do.
Bro, you didn't seriously consider this did you? We take dance classes of course. Dance classes is probably the only place on earth that isn't an absolute sausage fest. There is always a lack of guys. Go there. Educate yourself, start dancing with many different girls.
Also while dancing you will look into the others persons eyes all the time. This is something you should do while talking to a girl. People have been complaining for ages that girls don't give them signs, but they don't keep eyecontact. So look into her eyes while talking. It makes you appear confident and interessted in what she says. Which you should be.
And if you really need a sign it will be in her eyes. Believe me.

Follow those rules. The main reason why guys end up in the friendzone is because they are not pleasent to look or be near at. Because they don't look presentable and smell like roadkill.
If you are attracted to a person or not is decided within the first seconds of laying an eye on them. This is the hard truth. This is how our body works. There needs to be a lot of very well going conversations and other factors to overcome this primal programming. If you are an unkept, smelly, skinny, fat creep the primal programming of a women will tighten up the vagina so much that you cold be producing dimonds in it.
Don't be that guy. It is up to you. You can either either change little things about yourself and become a better and happier person or you can retreat back into your cave of loneliness and bitch about "all them western women being hoes and blowing jerks".
Before we part I want to share two poems with you.
http://www.inspirationpeak.com/cgi-bin/poetry.cgi?record=155
http://www.ellenbailey.com/poems/ellen_218.htm
All of a sudden I am getting all emotional right?

Do this guys, I implore you. What is there to lose?
Go out into the world an taste the marrow of life at its fullest.
At least entertain what I have said for a couple of days before dismissing it.
The world is out there - take it. Don't stay alone. You don't have to!
If you think otherwise than sit down. Infront of your PC. Day in day out.
You have got a life waste.

You are the master of your own destiny.
You are the ruler of every action you take.
You can either light the fire within you, or cover it with bitterness, hate and sadness.
Choose wisly.