I want to stop thinking about girls but I feel so lonely.

Look bro you are doing well. First congratulations for overcoming your depression and for working on yourself to be the best version of yourself. Look your awkwardness or shyness is something that you can overcome by practicing, I can recommend you to read the book “How to win friends and Influence people” this book will give you guidance in how to make actual good deep connections with people. I can’t tell you one principle from this book that I’ll always remember, How u ever wonder how can You be interesting to other people, what should You say, what should You do? Well, if you want to become interesting to other people, first you must become interested in them, encourage them to talk about themselves, ask how their day is going, and listen to them, but show interest in them genuinely do not fake it, people love to talk about themselves there are probably millions of children dying of hunger in the world but guess what for a person for instance his toothache is more relevant than children starving in the world. And this principle works very well for me because I am an introvert person so I am not much of a talker but I have great friends because I learned to truly listen to them and made their stories interesting to me. This is just on of the principles from the book I highly encourage you to read it.
Second, your friends must be able to accept that you have changed, you cannot keep being somebody that you were in the past, that means if you are more confident, more outgoing so be it, be proud of yourself, if they seem shock just tell them I enjoy life more than I used to before and if they like you they should accept that new change in your personality, it is not like you have become an annoying arrogant moron that your friends now would want to avoid, right? If they do not accept that new better version of yourself then it is time to find new friends, friends that are really happy for your success and improvements.
Third, never ever feel sorry for yourself, wherever you did in the past, is in the past dude ok you cannot change that is gone, just accept that. So do not feel inferior because you have not finished high school or this or that, or my friends did this or that and I have not done that just stop that ok. Another principle you must embrace is never compare yourself with others, because you will be miserable forever, you must remember no matter how good or miserable you think your life is, there would be always people who have even a better life than you have or a worst one. Therefore, only focus on your happiness, that’s it.
Finally, I can tell you something from my own experience, sometimes we want to be like this perfect version of ourselves, and we postpone our good desires and goals (for instance if you want to have a girlfriend, that’s a good normal, goal) because you may think, I am not ready, I am not good enough and all that mental trash inside you. Look I do not know you, but I am very sure you are not a killer, or a rapist, or a drug trafficant or something really mess up like those examples; that would make you a bad person. You are a normal good guy, with insecurities like everybody else and some social anxiety, big deal, damn that makes you a bad person helllll no, of course it does not make you a bad person, if makes you a normal person capable of receiving and giving love. So my advice to you is if you have the chance to meet a girl do it, do not wait, gain experience, enjoy your life you are 19, just respect the girl you meet that’s it. Another advice, I can tell you is (I do not know if you have had a girlfriend before) your first girlfriend does not have to be like oh she has to be perfect, she has to be my soulmate and all that stuff ok, you still young just try to find someone that you like and that’s it but remember always respect your girlfriends, do not cheat on them, and treat them good.
Ok I know it is a long reply, but I just do not think is fair that a young kid full of life and opportunities should be tormenting too much over stuff (I’m not saying your issues are not important, I know we all have our own fears to conquer ok) Keeo working out, keep studying and practice your social skills.
Good luck and blessing on your journey!!!

 

Look bro you are doing well. First congratulations for overcoming your depression and for working on yourself to be the best version of yourself. Look your awkwardness or shyness is something that you can overcome by practicing, I can recommend you to read the book “How to win friends and Influence people” this book will give you guidance in how to make actual good deep connections with people. I can’t tell you one principle from this book that I’ll always remember, How u ever wonder how can You be interesting to other people, what should You say, what should You do? Well, if you want to become interesting to other people, first you must become interested in them, encourage them to talk about themselves, ask how their day is going, and listen to them, but show interest in them genuinely do not fake it, people love to talk about themselves there are probably millions of children dying of hunger in the world but guess what for a person for instance his toothache is more relevant than children starving in the world. And this principle works very well for me because I am an introvert person so I am not much of a talker but I have great friends because I learned to truly listen to them and made their stories interesting to me. This is just on of the principles from the book I highly encourage you to read it.
Second, your friends must be able to accept that you have changed, you cannot keep being somebody that you were in the past, that means if you are more confident, more outgoing so be it, be proud of yourself, if they seem shock just tell them I enjoy life more than I used to before and if they like you they should accept that new change in your personality, it is not like you have become an annoying arrogant moron that your friends now would want to avoid, right? If they do not accept that new better version of yourself then it is time to find new friends, friends that are really happy for your success and improvements.
Third, never ever feel sorry for yourself, wherever you did in the past, is in the past dude ok you cannot change that is gone, just accept that. So do not feel inferior because you have not finished high school or this or that, or my friends did this or that and I have not done that just stop that ok. Another principle you must embrace is never compare yourself with others, because you will be miserable forever, you must remember no matter how good or miserable you think your life is, there would be always people who have even a better life than you have or a worst one. Therefore, only focus on your happiness, that’s it.
Finally, I can tell you something from my own experience, sometimes we want to be like this perfect version of ourselves, and we postpone our good desires and goals (for instance if you want to have a girlfriend, that’s a good normal, goal) because you may think, I am not ready, I am not good enough and all that mental trash inside you. Look I do not know you, but I am very sure you are not a killer, or a rapist, or a drug trafficant or something really mess up like those examples; that would make you a bad person. You are a normal good guy, with insecurities like everybody else and some social anxiety, big deal, damn that makes you a bad person helllll no, of course it does not make you a bad person, if makes you a normal person capable of receiving and giving love. So my advice to you is if you have the chance to meet a girl do it, do not wait, gain experience, enjoy your life you are 19, just respect the girl you meet that’s it. Another advice, I can tell you is (I do not know if you have had a girlfriend before) your first girlfriend does not have to be like oh she has to be perfect, she has to be my soulmate and all that stuff ok, you still young just try to find someone that you like and that’s it but remember always respect your girlfriends, do not cheat on them, and treat them good.
Ok I know it is a long reply, but I just do not think is fair that a young kid full of life and opportunities should be tormenting too much over stuff (I’m not saying your issues are not important, I know we all have our own fears to conquer ok) Keeo working out, keep studying and practice your social skills.
Good luck and blessing on your journey!!!

 

First, happy freakin' birthday!

Geez man, if I replace 19 with 37, I probably find more than half of myself in what you're writing! You truly show maturity in what you write, and I'd like to believe that overcoming your depression took a lot of self-reflection, which made you more mature than your peers. You have my esteem! And yes, I sometimes also cry during the night, because life's not easy and sometimes I also look for support.

Looking at my life experience, the parties, the V-card, the girlfriends, all had been either dumb beliefs (so... I lost my virginity, now what?!) or wasted times or just blatant mistakes; I didn't take care of the person that matters most: myself. I think going through depression develops you as a human way better than any party and any girlfriend or any other friend for that matter. Though I don't recommend to anyone to seek developing depression!

Genuinely, similar to what @FenixGenesis12 writes, you're doing well, you're on the right track! Coding and photography are also my hobbies and these are the type of hobbies that keep you in flow, concentrated, in trance. Your physique is showing that you are healthy (and it kind of gives me now a kick in the butt, because I look pretty much like your "before" - not bad, but surely needs improvement). I recently learnt to ride a bicycle (at 37!) and, since it's summer, many times I go out and enjoy a ride in the forest.

In your case, it's likely that at any age you'll find it difficult to connect with people your age. I've been going through depressions (though a severe one only in the last few months) since my childhood, and I always find that I connected far better with people either much older than me or much younger than me, extremely rare with people within my age group. Most of my current close connections are over 45 or under 30. I have only one person around 35 that I talk with openly, mainly because she's also a bit more mature than her age, went through a lot of stuff. I've had last year a super intense, beautiful and close friendship with a girl 9 years younger than me (sadly it ended with two broken hearts). My last girlfriend was (still is?) 9 years older than me and we spent 5 years together - last one together was dreadful, though.

Ok, my point basically is that when you'll be 30 or 40, you'll look back at your life and you'll remember what mattered most. I personally regret going to parties and getting pissed drunk. I don't even remember what I felt when I lost my virginity, but I remember that neither me nor the girl were too impressed; I guess we both expected fireworks or a pat on the back from... someone? I regret not being a bit more involved into learning philosophy and psychology, I regret rushing through things in general in life, because it was the easy thing to do; I'm paying for those now. By the looks of it, you're paying for them earlier in your life and you'll very likely feel much more content with yourself and who you are in a few years time. But now, yeah, I can imagine it's a bit... uncomfortable.

You're English is great; be proud of your skill! And you gain extra points for using commas.

 

Hold up dude, things are not so hard as they seem.
I'm 19 as well, just finished high-school and I gotta say those were some shitty years. Depression, anxiety, stress, loneliness you name it. I rarely went to parties and I never had a GF, nor have I kissed a girl. Gotta say directly I made many mistakes, therefore it sucked.
However now I'm at a point in my life so great I can't describe. I'm looking down with a lot of regret on my teenager years, however the following 20's seem extremely optimistic. I am no longer making the mistakes I once used to do, and neither are you.
Yes people like you and me did not have the best high-school experience, however I look at my classmates and I see a bunch of grown-up people with the mentality of little kids. Their 20's are gonna get fucked, since almost not a single one of them can study, work or do anything properly, responsibility is a term they have to learn on the harshest way possible.
Judging by your gym progress and good hobbies choices(and the fact that you are on NoFap as well), I can assume that you are a disciplined and hard-working guy, with good moral values and interests.
Trust me, if the new you is a great person, and I guess it is, those people shouldn't give a fuck about your radical change. You should expect them to be happy for you (and if they're not you are better off without them). And if you're afraid of what they think, remember that one should never take in consideration every single person, cause opinions vary, no matter how perfect or imperfect you are and by giving them all attention you won't find peace of mind. Find yourself few, but trustful friends, whose opinion and advice is worth consulting, try to create meaningful connection with few at first and get rid of those who seem ignorant or not supportive of your evolution, because after all, your first interest should be your own person, not the others, in not a single case.

Also, KEEP THE STREAK going!

 

how did you do that?

teach me

well loneliness takes part in the journey, sometimes I also felt it would tear me apart but thats how withdrawl symptoms work

when you'll get out of them you'll develope a " I dont give a shit" attitude towards everything

and please give no effort or energy to self-pity and focus on the journey ahead

trust me, if you stick your mind to reach day 90 you are almost there