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My Girlfriend cheated on me help

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by Adidas trackies, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Keep in check? What? Who are you, Josef Fritzl?

    No women don't cheat because they can "get away with it". Women cheat because 1. They are in a relationship they dont want and 2. Because they are not seen by their partner emotionally and sexually. When a guy has a porn addiction, he stops caring for his girl. Ask any woman on here if they feel wanted and they will tell you!

    I could get away with cheating. I could probably cheat every day for a good 14 years and my husband wouldn't notice. But I wouldn't do it in a billion years. It's not about him keeping me in check, it's about me and the kind of woman I am.
     
  2. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    To me, there isn't. If you're looking at porn while in a relationship you're cheating and deserved to be cheated on and if you aren't cheated you're lucky. I looked at porn while with my ex and was lucky she didn't cheat on me. I deserved to be cheated on and would have the right to complain about it if I did.

    A man of value does not look at porn. If he makes a year without porn he might be able to think of himself of having values but until then he deserves this. I deserve to be cheated on, you deserve to be cheated on, every PA deserves to be cheated on. If we're not we're the lucky ones.


    What is truth?
     
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  3. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

  4. The joke about girls testing on anonymous Internet forums is that these tests are entirely worthless, because there is nothing to win here. That's why I save myself the effort of a witty comeback. ;)

    Your guilt-tripping of this young guy is absolutely pathetic. You are just inflating your ego on his failure to keep his juvenile relationship.

    His problem is that he actually cares too much. This kills off all attraction. His GF moved on long ago, she just waited for her next plate to show up to make a seamless transition.
     
  5. The truth is that this guy still believes she loves him ,thats delusional.she doesnt.Shell do it again,women always have options.
     
  6. Context is key: Going to psychological counseling for some highschool sweetheart is seriously over the board. He is not married and owes her nothing.

    It doesn't mean porn is justified, but as a matter of fact before actual engagement you don't have to explain yourself. At the end of the day OP got infatuated and invested way too much in that relationship.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 26, 2019
  7. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    Sure the first reaction I'm sure is kick her to the curb. But seems like a double standard . As much as you may deny . You cheated on her with the porn ... And you expected her to stay with you and get through it . But now when she does it you don't want to reciprocate what she was trying to do. This whole thing isn't just hard for you , the addicted . It destroys your spouse, and she needed to feel loved, beautiful , important the only way she knows how. From another man .
    Saying that you're only 22. I think the most Important thing you should do is really really take the time for yourself and really start to battle this addicton.
     
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  8. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    This sentence should have you banned permanently from this forum. It's one of the most cruel, insensitive and insane things I've ever read.

    This young man has shown maturity well beyond his years. He has come clean, worked with himself, gone to therapy and yes he has cared; it only shows that he is an exceptional boyfriend. Her mistake has nothing to do with him being too loving or her attraction to him. She has simply dealt with her pain in a severely inappropriate way.
     
  9. He is exceptional
     
  10. Adidas trackies

    Adidas trackies Fapstronaut

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    I really do blame myself for everything, my actions caused her to feel rejected, like the man she loves so deeply doesn't love her back and just prefers to watch porn instead of work on our intimate issues. I promised her and myself change and I lived up to that promise and will continue to do so regardless of the outcome. But I've invested so much into this relationship to prove that I am committed and that she is the only girl I desire to be with, and I've done all this at a point is too late from her perspective because she already felt rejected and sort after that feeling of being desired elsewhere. So I'm stuck here now over-invested, perceived to be under invested and uncaring to a girl that has basically been dating another man while still being in a relationship together and being promised things will be ok. I love her so deeply and have everything to lose, I want to forgive her as she forgave me for making her feel the same way earlier in the relationship.
     
  11. Adidas trackies

    Adidas trackies Fapstronaut

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    I don't feel exceptional at all
     
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  12. The first thing you need to understand is how women love men, because it doesn't work how men love women at all. It's entirely different, but you erroneously assume it's the same - as in mutual.

    You don't increase attraction by promising. You don't increase attraction by compliance. You don't increase attraction by showing weakness. Doing all these things makes a girl less interested in you and breaks your hookup relationship at some point. By being the nicest guy on the planet all the time you will get cheated on, sometimes you simply have to be an asshole. That's how the Lord designed our ladies, it's not my fault. In fact it's the fine balance between the extremes which makes you successful with them.

    From the post above hopeless infatuation is speaking. But you have deal with the fact, that in the age of Tinder girls of your age move on after a year or two. We don't marry for life at age 16 anymore. Your girl is always looking for an upgrade and is going to end up as a sidekick of some player who bangs her every four weeks when his main relationship is out of town. This is how modern society works. No reason to celebrate that, but seeing reality as it is helps tremendously.
     
  13. The Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger Fapstronaut

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    A reply to the original post:

    I believe all relationships can be fixed but with more or less effort and sacrifice. It’s like cleaning a house. I you have a small party it’s easily put back in condition. But after the party of the century, when standing there scratching your head, thinking of setting the whole thing on fire, it takes A LOT to make it all right again.

    Best of wishes to you both
     
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  14. Its over,try self investment
     
  15. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Is it really the truth though? Can you know what someone really thinks, especially on an internet forum where people hide behind a username? Maybe I'm making too much of big thing out of it but I have issues with anyone using the word truth because most of the things that I thought were turned out to not be all that true.

    Report him if you feel that way.
     
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  16. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Only kidding, be kind to men but be an asshole to ladies because the Lord designed them that way. - Ephesians 4:32 (wwtl Translation)
     
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  17. @King Og of Bashan I didn't want to go there, but you did, so instead of joking around about the word, we check what Ephesians 5:22-25 has to say about the relationship inside marriage:

    22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

    Now that only works if there is actually an able husband to submit to. And that's why our Lord has created our women with all the tools needed to continuously test the man for his ability to fulfill his Biblical role as the "head of the wife".

    If due to infatuation some man tries submitting to a woman instead, this goes against the design and unsurprisingly doesn't work. And that's what I explained to @Adidas trackies in words he can understand.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 9, 2019
  18. EyesWideOpen

    EyesWideOpen Fapstronaut

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    Oh wow. Talk about taking God's word out of context!
     
  19. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

    It says love your wives as Christ loved the church not be an asshole. You've pretty much proved my point. Nowhere will find anything in the NewTestament that backs up what you've said. I don't why you brought God into this thread anyway. Adidas trackies hasn't claimed any belief in God, he might not believe God designed women.

    Also, I put your theory to the test. I asked a number of women if they like men who behave like assholes and not one said they did. There was one who said some women like men who are trouble but thankfully grow out of it, another said they like men who are respectfully dominant but not assholes and another said she didn't like men who are all clingy because she would feel smothered by him.

    Another thing that came out of the conversations I had was women are individuals. Not all women want the same thing. Some women want a man who will protect them but others don't care about that because they're strong enough to protect themselves.

    And really the women who truly want assholes are unhealthy women and I don't recommend being in a relationship with an unhealthy woman. Unfortunately, my ex was unhealthy, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend and in fairness, I needed a therapist too.
     
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  20. onceaking

    onceaking Fapstronaut

    Yeah, he conveniently ignores the scripture where it says we should submit to one another.
     
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