Third Time's a Charm

Hey everybody, so as you probably know from the title, this is the third time I've created a Nofap account in my so far unsuccessful nofap attempts. A little backstory; I first discovered masturbation at 12 years old due to an ill fated sex ed health class and the company of my friends, I was hooked onto it. Got my first smartphone at 12 coincidentally which led to the discovery of images, then gifs and then porn as what usually happens. By the time i hit 13 I was enjoying masturbation on daily basis, but deep down due to my religious beliefs every time I did I felt really guilty and felt shit. So at thirteen i tried abstaining from porn and masturbation and went a solid 2 weeks before relapsing. Since them its been tough. A lot of years went by and I started evolving into the weirder sides of pron, eventually getting turned on by pretty fucked up shit, something which happens when you're on the porn cycle for long enough. At 15 although my outside life was fine, grades were great and my social life was fine the guilt began to eat at my brain because I was losing a grip on my spirituality and just my sense of purposefulness. Coupled with the fact that I was procrastination heavily, getting 4 hours of sleep most days and school-work increasing my mental state deteriorated and I often contemplated the meaning of life. Many a times I tried stopping but my brain was rewired to find everything else shitty, so I kept coming back. I made two accounts on here in an attempt to find motivation but it didn't help me so I left them. So, yesterday I went batshit crazy and jacked off like 5 times throughout the day and I felt really shitty so I decided to make this account. I'm not only doing this for mental clarity and a renewed sense of oneself, but to improve my life in every other aspect so I can truly enjoy life. My highest streak in 5 years has been 11 days.

I'll keep this updated and I am determined to hit 90 days.

 

Thank you very much man, I'll keep it updated