Hero Training (Closed)

Day 3 of Hero Training was comparatively better.
I have completed writing up my journal. Stayed away from the internet from the morning (Although I still came online once in a while). Going to start Working out (well I just warmed up yesterday ). Particularly no urges, and I should say that my will power is just getting stronger and stronger. I also feel like I am becoming better. I was able to easily resist going to browse through the internet or even easily resist my urges. I should say that this is quite some development (not about the urges; But, about me staying off the internet.) Still I listened to music in my phone once in a while, I think that's okay. I am planning to cut out the time I spend online. I am going to come to NoFap everyday, but, other than that, I want to quit just wasting my time on the internet. So, overall, I am trying to say that I have kept up my words brother, because I told you that I would complete writing up my Journal, stay away from meaningless internet browsing, and start Working out.

And, when you say that you would get out of your bed to post on NoFap before starting to use your phone, you mean you post from your Computer or Laptop right brother ? Well, I must say, I am not that very much addicted to my phone, but I am always staring at my laptop. So, I am making progress there I guess.

How are you doing so far Hero ?

 

Yeah, well I wanted to say something, and I think I saw these exact same words elsewhere on many other posts too. I don't know if it was you or someone else, but I want to tell you @Infrasapiens that @DekuHope is not an arrogant person. He is actually humble (Well, he is always humble to me !). He is really encouraging and someone who gives others hope. There are different meanings to what he claimed, when you see it in different perspectives. He had always wanted a mentor to look up to, a hero to look on. He has always thought that we are our own hero's and that's why he always mentions "Your Hero - DekuHope". He wants everyone to know that they are their own hero's and by writing like this, he is proving a point, telling others to start thinking that way; as he is already doing that. I don't think that's arrogant, but, that's my opinion. For me, he is not arrogant, and I just wanted to acknowledge that .

 

So happy to hear this brother. I am also glad that I made you proud. Anyways, my day 4 didn't have any great improvements, I didn't do anything noteworthy today to be called an improvement. Still haven't started to learn or workout. Must start as soon as possible. I didn't use my laptop that much, and neither did I use my phone much, but, I didn't learn or do anything else that is going to help me move forward in life. I am feeling tired, so that's why I haven't still started learning, or working out, and I am already having fears about how I would face the next year, but, that's just me over-thinking about stuff already. Anyways, that was just how I spent my day. You should be doing great as well brother, right ?

 

Day 5 went ahead and was pretty boring. I was just jumping over from my laptop to my phone, then just laying down in the bed for a while, and repeated them all, over again. Nothing great happened. Having no interest to learn anything. Nothing much happened. Felt a bit lonely and that's when music made a come-back to me. Realised that music can still do wonders. had some hopes revitalised. Still, resisting all those urges although I didn't have any today. Hope your day went well, brother @DekuHope .

 

I guess I have failed brother. I just searched for some erotic content on youtube intentionally, although I didn't watch it. I think it counts as a relapse.

 

I am ideally sitting at home, doing nothing but, browsing through NoFap, and then, learning to code a new language for some time. Then, I get bored. These 6 days, I tried doing many different things like, Listening to music, and Writing my journal, but, other than all of that, I don't think I have any other means to go out, spend time in any other activity. I guess I should re-evaluate all of my plans, and Try to make a schedule that duly keeps me busy, and I guess I should come up something (that is both feasible and also demanding, like something that keeps me in the job) to be doing whenever I experience triggers. I won't be able to do cold-showers practically whenever I experience triggers. Like I tend to catch cold so quickly, So, always, taking up cold-showers may not be the ideal thing to do. I should start taking steps, which are going to be fruitful to me.

I am realising one thing, and this always happens to me, there would be people who have hopes on me. They believe in me, and trust me to fulfil their hopes, but the same thing always happens. I just get lost in the moment, fall for all those temporarily pleasures, I choose temporary happiness over happiness one gets from hard work.

I am ashamed, I truly am. I think I am not worthy to be someone on whom people are supposed to have hopes on, but, I still believe quitting is not the answer to all of this. I don't know what to do, and I also know that you would not have seen this coming brother, but, neither did I. I am truly ashamed.

 

I am tired of apologising again and again, and breaking your trust again and again. I am going to change my ways of dealing with this, I am going to find answers to many of my questions, and I am going to change. I am not going to just sit, talk and end up doing nothing ! I am feeling empty, and I don't like it this way. I will surely come back stronger, and just as you told "Actions are stronger than words.", I will show you that I can, and then I will talk. See you after I have answered my questions brother, and trust me, it wouldn't take me long.

 

@DekuHope I worked out today. Didn't use much of the internet for most of the day. Was a better day over all, had some urges, but sought to take care of them all. Anyways, that was how it went for me, what about you, brother ?

Well, working out today, was easier compared to yesterday's because Yesterday was the day when I had to start working out again, and starting is always tough ! So, it went well.

 

I worked out the next day too, and yesterday was a good day over all. I am firstly sorry for not being able to update my experiences on this day. I messed up with my laptop, and I was afraid it might not be usable anymore as I was tweaking around, (trying to tri-boot my PC, - haha there is no term like tri-booting though), but anyhow I managed to get around and learnt a lesson, a very valuable one in deed. That's why I wasn't able to come here to update. Anyways, I am still working out everyday and this is really paying off brother. Instead of focusing on quitting PMO, when I am trying to keep up with another challenge like, Working out and not stopping to do so; it's really paying dividends. I did workout yesterday too - even though it was my rest day, because I felt like I needed it. How has your day been brother @DekuHope ?

 

Still haven't worked out today, and I played football (or also known as soccer) for almost 3-4 and a half hours in total today, although I won't let that stop me from working out. Was a good day over all, and I am reducing my Screen time spent on both my laptop and my phone, although there is nothing on my phone to ponder about, and there never has been anything on it to ponder about. Your link to the video, sure motivated me brother.
PLUS ULTRA !

 

Didn't workout yesterday brother. I was too tired of playing for 3 - 4 hours after a long time. Anyways, I think it was kind of a workout for me, as my Calves pained after having played. Today, I will be working out.

 

Sorry for not being around here brother.
I will quickly update what happened along,
Firstly after that rest day where I worked out, I didn't workout the next day because, I played too long that day, and I was tired. The next day I tried to compensate for not Working out the day before, by Working out for both, that day, as well as for the day before. But, that was lame, and I ended up working out only for the day before. Now, I haven't worked out on a day when I was supposed to and instead worked out on rest day. Anyways, they tally up, and I'm good now. You're really awesome my hero. Taking up all of my focus, and distributing it to something that I do to improve myself, and not to instead focus on quitting PMO, is really working wonders. Thank you for the help, my mentor.
Talk soon brother. CHEERS...

 

Alright brother. I haven't been here, to this thread in a while. So, there are some stuff I learned though. I would like to share what I have learnt, and I feel it would be good to know your opinion on those stuff. As far as our primary objective on NoFap is concerned, I must say, I am getting clear now. Last time, when you described that it was going to be different, I felt different, I felt motivated but, I didn't work hard for it though. In fact I didn't do anything, and doing nothing, helped me maintain my streak; but, now, Things are becoming clearer. I have learnt that it's not about the number of days, it is not about the streak you're going through. All this while, while I was trying to abstain, I sure gave my everything to stop looking at Porn, or to do PMO, but, I never really gave my everything, and I know that because, had I given my everything to succeed in this, I surely would have come out on top. I guess, giving it your all, makes the difference. So, I am using my will-power to embrace No PMO around this time. I even made through those triggers, and usually, I get strong urges when I see triggers after this long. Now, I am trying with all my might to not really get into Urging to spoil everything. The fact that I am trying this hard, well actually the root for it was a Post here, on NoFap. It was by a person, and the title of that Post was, "There are No Urges ! Urges are a Myth !". I really saw something in that Post. I knew that, I had control over those urges, and that I had to make decisions on whether to continue experiencing them to make myself more vulnerable or to just let them go. Also, I am not trying to think about How long I might do this ! I am trying to be presently at the moment, fighting it now. Anyways, awaiting your experience, and your take on this addiction of ours, CHEERS, brother.