I don't have a family and that's why I used porn.

I really recommend you to watch the content on youtube about David Goggins. He has had a similar experience in life. Motivates the shit out of me for the past 1.5 years.
He also has a book that is worth reading or listening to. It really makes you reflect to your own life and you will understand yourself better.

Stay strong

 

I don't usually watch this type of video, but saw him one day in a podcast and that gave me the chills.

 

hey man, I don't know how your parents treated you in your past life, I saw some people like you who never want to go back to their parents' home and visited them again, and they also live lonely and unhappily. I feel I am always grateful to my parents as they brought me up, which I think is not easy and needs lots of time investment. If your parents mistreated you, then okay, it is reasonable to dislike them, but if it is just your parents are not kind and don't know how to love you, then it is acceptable as not everyone is suitable to be a parent, why not just forgot it and try to love them? You know that they are not qualified to be parents, then what you do now maybe is also not very ...
Forgot the unhappy past and try to think of the good sides of your parents, and visit them sometimes to see if you can change them and make them better, then I am sure you will feel happier.

 

sorry for that, I didnt mean it it is too hard to erase the influence of original family. I grew up in a family where my mother dominates everything and my parents quarrel a lot. I always feel lonely as well, and even when i am with my family or friends, the loneliness feeling never goes away.

 

It took leaving my family behind me to realize what home really was, because with them I was never home.

Go find people who know this thing. Those who know it like you do are your family, no matter what colour of skin or type of blood...or their physical proximity to you. This is the easiest way to defeat loneliness.

All the best to ya.

 

Yep, this is my story, too. Dad was emotionally absent and a workaholic who I rarely saw, and he was a rage monster when he was around. My mom was an enabler and spent much of my growing up years hospitalized for one mental trauma or another. I basically raised myself and helped raise my siblings. i turned to P for intimacy and connection that I did not have at home. It was a mistake ot do this, but it was how I learned to cope.

I did not get serious about dealing with PMO head on until I was 40. It has been an interesting journey these last six years. I am also rather estranged from my family, although not to the degree you are from yours.It is always tense when we do interact, and we do not do so very often.

I wish you success on your journey.

 

You didn't have the right people in your life. You used porn to escape that reality and thus putting a pause on the quality of your relationships. Now you're free from porn and the problems you've neglected this whole time was still there waiting for you.

Now that you stopped neglecting your reality... you can create the life and relationships that you want.

It won't be easy, but the easy way out (porn) didn't do you much good in the past.

 

same here mate keep it up!