Trigger Trigger everywhere

SOOOO things have been progressing VERY well here . Yesterday I handled a trigger in a way I haven’t before while in the trigger . My SO was home for an hour before my son and I ( he had a XC meet ) I knew he was going to not make the meet in time from work so he went straight home . He let me know this at noon ( meet at 4:30 ) . The old me would have been triggered from the the start of the threat ( him telling me he was going home ) I did OK for the day . I self talked and was very present at the meet . I get home walk in the door and he’s on the couch with laptop open , asleep sitting up lol . Ofcourse my first thought given everything we have been talking about was “ he should have known better and know that would have triggered me “
I made a nice meal and really tried to be present during it , but I was triggered and had one word answers or atleast barely involved in the conversation. Upset with myself that this is me . Upset that my mind was swirling on what to say when . My son finished up eating and left the table . We finished up . I looked at him and said “ I know I’ve been quiet I’d like to share why , I explained the trigger , how I’ve made progress controlling them and how surprised I was that I was THAT affected, I got emotional and he started tearing up a lil , I told him my initial thought of he should have know better . He listened to my trigger talked through it with me , started to give me a list of what he did with the hour he was alone , I explained I DONT NEED THE LIST , I need a hand on mine and simply just say “ I’m sorry you were / are triggered but I’m good I was good , all boundaries in check . He handled it the way I needed though . No defense whatsoever, he said “ I’m listening, I’m understanding everything, I’m getting it . I explained that had he gotten defensive during my trigger like last time in March it literally would erase most of the work we’ve done . Do I wish he knew better ? Yes ! But he says he literally didn’t even think of it and wanted to get bills done so we can have more time together at night . That was long lol but progress was shown not just spoken and I told him how much that means to me

 

For a long time , they WILL control YOU . Sign up for the BLOOM for women free stuff , so so so helpful <3