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Tired and sad

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Amaterasus, Feb 10, 2019.

  1. Amaterasus

    Amaterasus Fapstronaut

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    Dont know exactly how i should start but my BF is a porn addict and have been for years. It didnt took me long time to figure out what was going on but it took some time for him to admitt it.

    Now more then a year later i feel like things havnt changed much. He says he want to get better, but still does all he can to hide hes addiction (lying, always trying to find new ways that i wont find out etc).

    And after this much time i got a really good sence for it, so the lies doesnt work for him it just makes it hurt more for me.

    And for me the lying is one of the hardest parts of it, i can understand that its hard go quit. But the stress of knowing that hes lying and that i need to profe that i know it really wears me down.

    So yea thats my story in short, i signed up today becuse im tired of feeling all alone in this so any tips or suggestions would help.
     
    Deleted Account and Vixen like this.
  2. Amaterasus

    Amaterasus Fapstronaut

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    Yes i would love some help with that
     
  3. Amaterasus

    Amaterasus Fapstronaut

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    Yea thats fine :)
     
  4. Amaterasus

    Amaterasus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, that gave me alot of clearity. Especially in the boundries vs ultimatum.

    I know a few boundries i want to set, Most of then is allready on your list. And i know a few consequenses at least for my own protection. Like i dont want to have sex for a few days after a relaps, since i cant tell if its me or the porn he wants and i know he cant either.

    I got one big question after reading it all and that is the part of apathy. Could you please explain it a bit more? I guess its about activly partisipating in your recovery?
     
  5. Amaterasus

    Amaterasus Fapstronaut

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    Yea that made alot of sence, and is a big part of what i have been struggeling with. When he says one thing but does another, or comes with excuses like i cant control it or help it etc.

    And i get that a part of him cant control it, but i think as long as you excuse it to especially yourself its never gona get better? Becuse then you never try to control it.

    Since i first posted we have talked alot and set up some bounderies in addition to the big ones (no lies, no pmo etc), like no phone in the bedroom. I have tried mostly to set rules that give me some peace of mind. Like knowing i can sleep and relax, becuse the phone isnt in the bedroom so he cant relaps right next to me.
     

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