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Need some suggestion regarding anxiety

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by iamlonewolf1992, Dec 27, 2018.

  1. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    Hi Everyone,

    I am on day 41 with no porn. I still fap regularly once a day. I don't have much of porn thoughts. I have been addicted to porn for like a decade. I have been always single. I do feel lonely. I love someone but can't express it. I tried nofap previously but everytime ended up in depression. I have one more problem. Someone I trusted so much have cheated me in money matters. Financially I can survive. Emotionally I am finding it impossible. I have got trust issues now. I don't talk to people much. I always find myself lonely.

    I am having very very high levels of anxiety. I feel scared. I feel like I can't do anything. Even fapping don't help. I am no way going to watch porn but it is very hard to spend a day with this emotional state.

    Anyone gone through such a phase? Can anyone suggest me how to come out of this anxiety.
     
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I find hard to trust people too, maybe we could work together to fix that.
     
  3. write your thoughts on paper or just explain everything here so u have better understanding of urself
     
  4. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    I
    Will try to put them on paper
     
  5. SomeRandomNatty

    SomeRandomNatty Fapstronaut

    My therapist said the cure for my anxiety is to surround myself with other people.
     
  6. su1cide

    su1cide Fapstronaut

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    I have extreme social anxiety too, I can't even go to grocery store - when I face the cashier for checkout my hands start to shake, I become very silent and don't know how to act. Believe me, it's terrible thing when you are afraid to go to the shop or barbers house for haircut due to severe anxiety. I decided to change it and it's really hard for me to do that, but little by little I am trying to change myself. It's not normal when 19 year old guy can't go to barber's without mom, between she doesn't really realize that, she thinks that I am just really shy person since young age. But yeah, I wasn't that person before I started PMO. She believes that it's from father leaving us in early age. But I don't think that this is it :/

    So, we gotta keep trying - going little by little and approaching people in real life, interacting more, so we can develop those social skills.
     
    tet2vd and u376 like this.
  7. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I feel something similar. I feel I am being judged everytime I interact with someone I do not know.
     
  8. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    I can understand that cashier thing
    I become very nervous when they ask me my number
     
  9. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    That is true. Even I am trying to do that. But somehow I feel more lonely when I am with people.
     
  10. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    I think I should take some inspiration from you. Keep trying brother. Someday we will be pure extroverts.
     
  11. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    Ha ha. You are going to get a phone call tonight from the cashier. :)
     
    u376 likes this.
  12. SomeRandomNatty

    SomeRandomNatty Fapstronaut

    I know exactly what you mean. It's a bitter pill but it works. I found that the best people to surround yourself with are religious/spiritual ones (Sangha, Bible club, mosque, scientology,...) bc these are usually the kindest ones.
     
  13. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    Hmm. I understand. I also do think so. I am from India. We too have so many spiritual people that I can try and meet.
     
  14. shevro

    shevro Fapstronaut

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    I have been through a terrible embarrassing situation and that gave me high level of anxiety for the next three years. Finally decided to consult a psychiatrist. The medicines helped me a lot but gave me some digestion problem. But its still better than to have anic attacks and anxiety.
     
    Bijoe and iamlonewolf1992 like this.
  15. SomeRandomNatty

    SomeRandomNatty Fapstronaut

    She's right. You may wanna do some research and some introspection. It will help.
     
  16. pornlessgeneral

    pornlessgeneral Fapstronaut

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    The worst places for me would be: being alone in a supermarket, being alone in an airport, being alone in an unknown city and having to take the bus!

    Apart from these places, my social anxiety is not too bad. I can normally talk to other people. Nobody notices my deep issues. I have graduated at university, etc.
     
    iamlonewolf1992 likes this.
  17. graymatter13

    graymatter13 Fapstronaut

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    I understand you man, it is very hard to try when every cell in your body tells you not to
    I've also had anxiety and I know how it makes you feel worthless, like everything about you is wrong, and that nothing will help you get out of it

    It's right, nothing will get you out of it - unless you get up and do something about it
    Just know that it is transitory, I guarantee you that you'll get better if you try continuously without giving up

    Try to focus on positive things, what goes through your mind is not true
    Look for contrary evidences and remind yourself of those
    How many times did someone exploited your trust? Are there people that you trust in your life?
    Did you have anybody that you trusted in the past and they were loyal to you?

    You might not come up with contrary evidences easily, because your brain is not used to, but it works!

    Also experiment with people, how do they treat you? Did they really judge you or hate you? If you think so, what are your evidences for and against?

    The point is not to be a Pollyanna, but to see the situation more realistically - to change your perspective from only negative to considering all the facts, focusing also on the positive side

    It is certainly possible to change ourselves for the better and overcome it, it's up to us
     
    sakeen and iamlonewolf1992 like this.
  18. u376

    u376 Fapstronaut

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    Haha would not mind if it's a girl
     
  19. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    I do have consulting a counselor on my mind but I prefer to do it after I try to understand what I am going through.
     
    shevro likes this.
  20. iamlonewolf1992

    iamlonewolf1992 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks buddy. Sure, what you said true. It will become a lie if I say I will do it right from this moment. I think this change in thought process is progressive . I will definitely not give up and I will definitely try to be positive. Thanks again. Cheers
     
    graymatter13 likes this.

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