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Searching for erection pills: suspicious?

Discussion in 'Partner Support' started by Vixen, Dec 1, 2018.

  1. Vixen

    Vixen Fapstronaut

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    My pa husband says he’s been faithful to his reboot of no PMO since Sept 19th. I take that with a big grain of salt considering history presents he doesn’t have qualms lying.

    We embarked on some intimacy and sex last week. But no “O” for him. No surprise. Afterward he was very short and said he was frustrated. Not a winning attitude. And also, amongst our fooling around he did not stay consistently hard. This was the first time we actually included his genitals in any activity. So since he’s allegedly around 50 days or so clean of any O I kind of thought this kind of situation would have him very hard consistently. And/or that he would slip and come to climax quickly. Neither of these were the case.

    So what do you make of that?

    Secondly while I was perusing the accountability app tonight— because he was somewhat withdrawn and insulting towards me earlier— I find that he has searched for “male enhancing erection pills best seller.” On amazon. But deleted that history.

    I had mentioned to him at one point that rebooting is supposed to solve PIED. Though I’m not an expert.

    Red flags? Do you think this is indicative of more duplicitous behavior? Or that his recovery path is longer? Or that this unique man is just so stuck-in-his head anxious that he has trouble maintaining an erection?

    Thoughts welcome.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  2. After years of watching P & MOing depending on the frequency, it will take months or even a year or 2 to heal as a whole.. Being patient in recovery is 1 of the steps to continue it (for both) Rebooting does heal PIED but it varies from person to person, some heal earlier, some heal later..

    I know addictions can lead to lies so better stay cautious while moving forward..

    @kropo82 @GhostWriter can help you further, thanks :)
     
    Vixen likes this.
  3. Erection means A LOT to a man. Failing erection and ejaculation really harms a man's self esteem. It is quite normal that he tries to solve the problem somehow. There is a lot of shame attached. He may not want to discuss this with you, he may be ashamed to go to the doctor.

    There is no guarantee that abstaining from porn will bring back his erection, especially considering his age.
    As a good husband, he surely will be aware of his duty to satisfy his wife. Not in 90 days, but now.

    So please, don't make it harder than necessary for him. Erection pills can be part of the solution. I think it would be good if you were open to this, discuss it with your partner and encourage him to get a prescription via a doctor.

    My wife has urged me to do so and this has been a step forward for us.

    You simply cannot rely on something like nofap to work to 100%. You don't know whether it will work, and you don't know how long it would take. There is nothing wrong or shameful about taking the blue pill.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. It has been a slow progress
    for me away from pied.
    333 days.

    My SO has been very supportive
    of my recovery,
    Which I am so grateful.

    If she were more demanding
    and harshly disappointing,
    It would be so much more difficult for me.

    Lies and gaslighting
    (By me)
    would add so much more
    struggle; halting trust and understanding.

    No pills for me.
    Seemed wrong,
    but I was guided here
    towards recovery.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2018
  5. so is everything working now after almost a year of no porn and no masturbation?

    I am deeply impressed by that amount of willpower, I have to say!
     
  6. Yes, things are much better, no DE;
    have been able to be sexual
    and present with my SO.

    But the bigger thing is by not Continuing thoughts that come up
    • fantasizing about others.
    • Oogling
    • Dwelling on images present in the day today.
    Sometimes I have to simply look straight ahead.

    That’s the will power part.

    The bigger reason is having the SAA part
    building a better spiritual basis inside of me
    from which my motivations come.
    A base to which I can retreat
    when things get tough.

    I’m looking at my resentments
    and things dealing with my selfishness
    and defects; things I can control.

    But you know as well
    it’s not always easy.

    so here we are.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2018

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