1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Approached women first time in my life!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Ghost79, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    Yesterday I tried my first time gaming ever in my life and I spoke to 6 girls within 2 hours. But I spend 3 hours prior that trying to muster enough courage to talk to a woman I find attractive, but finally I managed.
    I was very direct and my lines were the same: "Miss, I think you look very nice. Will you go out with me?"
    2 women totally ignored me and walked right ahead. 2 other said they already had boyfriends and the other 2 said there weren't interested.
    Yet I wasn't very sad as I felt I had achieved something I could never imagine myself doing.
    But it felt really risky and I'm still afraid that one day a woman is gonna hit me on my head with her bag and tell me "get lost creep!"
    Next week I will try again but this time instead of trying to ask them out so fast, ill try to have a normal conversation.
    Anyone have more advice for me?
     
    Ra's Al Ghul and PJT like this.
  2. whatrichme

    whatrichme Fapstronaut

    107
    198
    43
    it was a good try to walk out of your comfort zone.
    Girls need some build up. Recently I like to fire a statement to start, not a question.
    If she is receptive, I ask things that I want to know.
    If it all goes smooth, you will know what kind of person she is, and if she is single.

    The night before I talked to a Latina hottie. The conversation went so well I asked her everything. I love what happened afterwards.

    But hey before your approach, spend a month or two on body languages, confidence, style, manner and stuff.
    As a woman, being pretty is enough to attract. As a man, there is a vast array of things on the scorecard women use.
     
    Ghost79 likes this.
  3. Yeah good job. Talk about whatever you want with them.
     
  4. end_it_for_good

    end_it_for_good Fapstronaut

    91
    76
    18
    Certain settings will be easier. Group activities are a great way to muster up the courage. Approaching women on the street isn't the best idea.

    1. It's like playing the lottery - you never know who you are going to talk to.
    2. It feels like very high stakes.
    3. Start with situation openers - like observe something about them, try and tie yourself into that. like if she has a unique phone case and you also have a nice phone case, that could be a conversation starter.

    Honestly, find groups that you'll have stuff in common with people and make friends there, then get interested in the women and ask them questions and get to know them.

    Women want to feel safe/trust you, they want to feel a connection and be seen/heard, they want to have fun. There is more stuff too, but honestly don't over complicate it. It's better to just keep approaching in a way where success is likely. The PUA stuff is mostly there to sell you courses, it's overly complex. So much of learning to be social is going out, seeing how people react and adapting accordingly. It's not some computer game where you hit buttons in a certain order.
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  5. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    I approached again today for the second time and it went slightly more smooth. This time I started giving them a compliment too but after that I asked there names and introduced myself and gave handshake, then asked if I could offer them a coffee. I think I asked about 8 women this time, 2 in the big mall and the others in city center and I got only 1 phone number but all of them wanted to end the conversation with me usually after saying "thank you"!
    I usually approach from the side as I don't want to come over as intimidating, maybe I should just do it in front next time and see if that will make a difference.
     
  6. theross

    theross New Fapstronaut

    1
    5
    3
    try to do eye contact with the women you cross, if she ignores you or turns away very quickly it's useless to try something but if she keep looking for two sec or better if she smiles go try something.
     
    Ra's Al Ghul likes this.
  7. whatrichme

    whatrichme Fapstronaut

    107
    198
    43
    Use eye contact to screen out the non-relevant. Even if your eyes touched for only 0.01 second, you can do the approach.
    I read from the pickup community square up yourself to the girl is the way. You come across as strong. But in your conversation you have to be otherwise non-needy.
     
  8. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    Then I cant approach any girl in that case as they all turn away soon as they see me. Women find me very unnattractive despite me wearing nice and having a good figure.
     
  9. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,092
    2,119
    143
    Are the plain jane looking women turning away from you too?
     
  10. Yeah I bet you would want to date her after that lol , Just go up to them and ask them how there day is going or what there up to
     
    Ghost79 likes this.
  11. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    Yea because I'm simply very ugly and thats not subjective ☹️
     
  12. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    Last Saturday I spend almost 2 hours walking around in and near the city center and approached only 5 women as I didn't see enough women I felt attracted to in this time.
    They all rejected me, but one really smiled big and enjoyed my compliments but still rejected my offer to go an instant date with me. But I did really well and everything by the book. But I feel the only reason they rejected me was because of my looks [​IMG]Perhaps I should just stop it as I feel no matter how good I approach women and how well I speak to them, they just don't feel attracted to me because of my looks. I feel really disheartened.

    I even approached a few women who were wearing headphones and walking fast that I needed to run a little to catch up to them.

    I noticed that some women are seriously amazed and a little shocked when I go up to them trying to talk to them instantly. While some are just bitchy and tell me they need to be somewhere while there parents or boyfriend are waiting them!

    Thursday I'm going for another try.
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2018
  13. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

    1,092
    2,119
    143
    I have seen ugly guys still get girls. Are you Quasimodo level ugly?
     
  14. Ghost79

    Ghost79 Fapstronaut

    833
    495
    63
    No not that ugly but close. I do have a nice and athletic figure under my clothes but it's just my balding head and face that is unpleasant to look at.
     
  15. I think that most guys would probably strike out 99 times out of 100 when cold approaching strangers in public. I think the average woman would feel creeped out and uncomfortable when put on the spot by a total stranger. If you want to meet a potential partner, you need to attend events where there are single woman that are there to meet someone, or you can try online dating where women are expecting messages from complete strangers. I think that your blaming your looks when it's probably your whole approach to meeting women that needs a little work.
     

Share This Page