super vagina

Well you can set your boundaries and consequences. If he doesn't agree to an accountability app.. then what is he hiding? He is not demonstrating that he is emotionally safe and you have every right to protect yourself (whether thats him sleeping on the couch, you distancing yourself, maybe a mini in house separation, who knows). Check out the Boundaries thread in my signature it might help!

 

He didn't like NoFap .. So he blocked it -- wow, I have not heard that one yet, and I have read through hundreds of stories.

Your husband is in some serious denial and deflection. The fact that he didn't like NoFap -- he needs to take a hard look at why that is. He obviously is uncomfortable with being called on the carpet about his porn addiction ... but he has to realize he is never going to get over it by running away from it and pretending it doesn't exist.

He needs to find someone in real life to tell about the struggle. At a minimum, a counselor or therapist. Best case scenario, he finds a close friend he can Trust ... or a priest or a pastor or someone.

Addiction grows in the dark. If he is able to open up with someone besides you, his wife, it will start to break the chains of this ugly addiction.

 

And what exactly is a super... vagina?

I'd google it but, you know- nofap.

 

If i had that much time, i wouldn't pose the question...
I'm not reading 40+ messages

 

This made me laugh... Out loud.
Fantastic
Thank you

 

Hey all... this is my closure - post:

we're divorced now.

July: he made me swore in God's name not to come to this forum.

August: realized our definition of porn is not the same. and also that swearing in God's name is not enough to gain back my full trust.

No steps taken by him to rebuild trust.


September:
my gut feeling told me he went back to porn the night he moved to next room...his excuse: i don't trust him.

I had a sudden despair and knowledge that he was going to watch it that night.

After that week, he suddenly stopped being critical and started to do extra house chores. And even gave me money as a reward for taking care of our hospitalised child.

October -- November:
Bargained again. Asking for mutual agreement but he shot it down. Probably thinking divorce frightens me and so he thought he can have his way.

He started to verbal abuse me. Continued to pressured me to have sex with the pretense that i fully trust him.

Calling me names, insulting and mocking, cursing me in front of the children, accusations and blaming, and yelling to control when i could or couldnt speak.

All this happened even when i was responding in calm and peaceful manner.

I began to read on verbal abuse and narcissism.

Mind blown. All the examples and signs in the books were exactly what i've experience and see in him.. within the seven years of marriage.

Best book on narcissism: Should i stay or should i leave.

Best book on verbal abuse: the verbally abusive relationship

I read that narcissist rarely change.


Nov 10th 2018:

Accusations followed by yelling.

i gave up on staying married. The kids were witnessing the verbal abuse. that made me throw the towel.

 

Sorry it went this way for you. But he made his choice. Maybe someday he’ll realize what he’s lost.
Hope you take care of yourself.

 

A friend told me divorce was expensive and hard because it is is worth it.

Another said, if you made a mistake,
It’s cheap to remarry.

Great you took the hard decisions,
now may your world heal
and open up for you!

 

Sounds like this divorce was necessary a long time ago. There are a lot of details here that would have painted a better picture before. Hope it works out.