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A girl noticed me in the library!

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Neitherdruid, Nov 18, 2018.

What should I do ? I really want to get to know her. Is this good during my rebooting period ? And

  1. Anything

    5 vote(s)
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  2. Anything

    8 vote(s)
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  1. Neitherdruid

    Neitherdruid Fapstronaut

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    I went to library to study for a exam I was writing that day. As I was sitting down, I noticed that a girl staring at me, I thought it was the usual staring people do in the library. But I was studying I could feel someone staring and when I looked up she looked away, I avoided it. Then I caught her looking at me she didn't look away, we looked at each other for about 5 seconds and then I caved and looked away. I couldn't believe she was looking at me, I even looked behind to make sure. She was listening to music while study, so was I. She stared dance and she looked at me and looked away and smiled . To be honest she made feel in a way that no one did. While the staring was going on, a friend of mine came over to sit with me. I told her what was going on, she laughed and said "I know the girl staring at you, she's a cool chick" . But then the girl staring at me left the library and I didn't approach, my friend forcefully told me her name and her instagram handle and told me she regularly studies at the library.

    What should I do ? I really want to get to know her. Is this good during my rebooting period ? And should I try and track her down.
     
  2. Sam_ba

    Sam_ba Fapstronaut

    Congrats for your reboot

    Having relationships IRL is the point of Nofap. Therefore if you feal you are ready go for it
    @ICDMatrix good friend once said the 3 sec rule. When you cross eye someone you have 3 sec to act if not you are already lost in your prefrontal cortex and mostly out of the game because you are thinking too much.

    Don't think. You may get silly but trust that if you don't think. Words will come out naturally because We ve done this for millom of years

    Stay strong we do this together
     
  3. Neitherdruid

    Neitherdruid Fapstronaut

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    Thank you so much for the encouragement. This really motivate me to put myself out there .
     
    Sam_ba likes this.
  4. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    Get her before Chad does.
     
  5. Man08

    Man08 Fapstronaut

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    You should get that girl but don't believe that happiness is when you have a girlfriend, that's how people get their hearts broken, consider it a chance you get in life, it's something normal and very beautiful when two people like each other. :D
     
    Sam_ba likes this.
  6. elevate

    elevate Fapstronaut

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    You should ignore your desires and don't get to know her. It's an opportunity that doesn't deserve to be seized. Continue to neglect what you want in life and everything will be okay. Don't take any risks or attempt to reach for anything beyond your comfort zone. Facing uncertain adversity and new experiences that leads to growth is definitely not the way you want to go.

    Yeah, you definitely shouldn't take any action. It's okay to procrastinate, hesitate, and hide your intentions, but that's the maximum that you should do in terms of this rare situation.

    -------------------------------------------------

    You get to know her by getting to know her..... via talking to her.

    Why do you need our permission? Why do you make something like this much more complicated than it needs to be? Because you're scared that you won't get the outcome that you want. So you become very cautious. You become overly concerned about doing the perfect thing that will lead to a perfect result (which doesn't exist). So here you are not doing anything about it.

    It doesn't matter what you do as long as you do it. Be non smooth. Be imperfect. Say and do the wrong things. Fail and get rejected. It doesn't matter. As long as you go for what you want. That's how you get better at this. So that one day you won't have to ask a bunch of strangers on the internet for permission to talk to a girl.
     
    Goo, outlander.9 and (deleted member) like this.
  7. Atlanticus

    Atlanticus Moderator Assistant
    NoFap Defender

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    Great that you still have your mojo, but I could not help asking myself what do _you_ want and whom do _you_ like? Are you confident enough with yourself to make your own choices and to approach the person _you_ like? If not, may I, perhaps, suggest a lil reboot?:) Also, why talk about it with that other person right away? Do we need her blessing? Isn't the chemistry between two people first and foremost between them...and not a group, much less a social media, dynamic? If so...perhaps wouldn't self-reliance, communication, and -- dare I say -- action be better than chat-before-the-fact? Perhaps a lil more... reboot would be helpful?

    Perhaps the question is not so much "library girl versus reboot" but whether through rebooting we've reconnected with our inner selves enough to act healthily -- make that to be healthy -- in relationships.

    Good luck!
     
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2018
  8. Yes I had that happen at a party the other night it's a great feeling. Yes Def talk to her see if she is cool.
     
  9. ForABetterLife20

    ForABetterLife20 Fapstronaut

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    Coming from a guy who's been dating a bombshell who cares about him for just over 3 months, this is good advice. I say that because after only 3 months we've had our fair share of struggles. She's on really strong antibiotics to treat something in her stomach and ureteral area, and it has side effects where she's groggy, sad, or just unhappy. I came clean with my PMO struggles a month in, and clearly haven't succeeded very well. Both of those have resulted in us having some discussions about where we want to be as a couple, sometimes they're more heated. It's not easy. However, having someone to talk to about anything is amazing. Having someone who's fun to hang out with because they drive me to be better is amazing. Having someone in your life who you get excited to see every day/afternoon is amazing.

    Go talk to her. What's the worst she's going to say? No? Her loss bro. That's my advice
     
  10. Slick Willie

    Slick Willie Fapstronaut

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  11. EthanW.

    EthanW. Fapstronaut

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    Whatever happened with this girl, OP?
     
  12. Holy cow im so envious ;) I wish I had same story one day. What to do ? I guess you know mate
     
    Exadict likes this.

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