becoming a live-in slave

@graham55 15 days is good.

gtfo skype. uninstall it. Its a trigger. doing so will improve things moving forward. Skype is like the one thing you should avoid. get rid of your ability to see old skype messages. I'm feeling hella urges right now as well I understand.

But 15 days is good. Watch out for the chasers or whatever you call it. try 30?

 

15 days is great man! Last time i did that many was in june. Congrats

 

Seems like you need to heal your feelings of shame. This can help:

https://joystreamhealth.wordpress.com/2011/12/02/healing-code-you-can-do-yourself/

You don't need to all the steps, and you don't need to spend as long as they suggest either, in my opinion. No specific beliefs are required either.

 

Definitely will lessen with Time. Don’t give up too early.

I had the same thing with pocd for about 2-3 months of my sobriety. I tried to fight it and it made it worse. My therapist reassured me that I’m not a creep, and that I’m normal. Then with her help, I started to be able to accept the thoughts that were coming up. And since I started accepting my thoughts as random and out of my control, and not defining who I am, the pocd has lessened and I have few thoughts about it. And the ones I do have don’t really bother me all that much.

Overtime this will most likely happen to you. But it took me to be sober from all PMO as well.

 

You been doing daily maintenance stuff still of meditation, journaling, helping others stay sober, therapy?

 

Dude, give you tip for life, dont judge anyone, onley who creat us

 

It's ok mate, keep trying, you just got 30 days so now hit the four months, especially for femdom, 4 months are enough to show you difference. So don't give up. I think living in a different city can help you stop knocking the door that thing again and again. Change your routine (make it more social with family things and related stuff) i hope you get better. Just be sure that stopping all this is the right thing you are doing and you will never regret it. I wish you the best mate!

 

I Know what you mean. I think when we first really try to quit we just attempt to surpress all our desires and move on from them. This seems to work for a while but eventually they come back and the temptation to indulge is overwhelming. Sorry you lost your streak but staying motivated and finding success is more important in the long run. I think we also have to deal with our problem in some form and not just bury it away and hope it goes away. I think how we deal with it can vary from person to person but we still have to acknowledge our problem and accept that we have issues. Pretending we can can just live a normal life from this point onward is probably misguided.

 

I feel for what you're going through man, I was in a similar situation a few years back.

I tried to live out the porn fantasies, and I found much the same thing. They said they were going on holiday - that's usually code for not interested. When I got to the point that even BDSM women thought I was a bit over the top, I knew the way I was living was unhealthy, and ultimately, unsustainable!

You may want to treat this latest relapse as an experience to be grateful for though. If you switch your perspective around. Because you're only going to outgrow this fantasy once you learn it's not realistic. Right now, you have to decide how many learning experiences are enough, it's your call.

 

The crazy old homeless lady ran away from an offer that included money. You should consider this a clue. And some really good luck!

I'm not actually trying to be an asshole (though some have told me that it just comes naturally for me ).

Truly, stay away from all PMO - this will get better. Trying to be a live-in slave is something you most definitely do NOT want to succeed at.

 

I am religous but I dont go into it too much on here nor do I want to bore people or annoy anyone however this is deep , you want to be a live slave .. basically want to worship the creation but not just any human ....a human who is a tyrant in her own right . She herself has transgressed the boundaries of Devine legislation. What is know as a taghoot in Arabic ( where by she is happy that you worship or be her slave for money) The devil can get someone, step by step , beginning with a fetish but ending in total submission where you want to throw yourself into destruction by associating partners with god but on an extreme level . If you become this slave do you realise the type of doors you are opening .


In any case this addiction is consuming you and trust me you will loose this life and the next life the way your carrying on .

Dont get me wrong , yes its tough , gosh ive done shameful things which haunt me up untill today. But try to recognise the fuckery's your going on with here . Please stop this,because religious or not your on the way to fucking everything up

A very concerned British gent

 

Sometimes masturbation can save us from actually doing things that are a bad idea, such as paying someone to treat us bad.

I found getting into a hobby that takes time and a bit of money can help. Do you want to do up a car? go on a holiday? buy any cool gadgets?

My friend who is a die-hard car enthusiast talked to the mother of a friend about her son spending "all his money on his damn car". To which my mechanic friend replied, "at least he's not spending it on drugs", she agreed... I think the same can be applied here.

And I will also say, I find the idea of a slightly dominating girlfriend appealing. But I know paying for it in half hour sessions with some random is not the way to go. It takes patience, but there's a lot of girls out there who like having a bit of kinky fun behind bedroom doors with their significant other!!

Improve yourself, forget these money leeches, pursue your hobbies instead, then look for a relationship with genuine respect and fun!

 

DON'T DO IT!!!!!

 

I will preface this by saying therapy and rehab is my first suggestion because I am not a professional.

i'm assuming you still want to stop. Here are some apps that have helped me the most. i would get an app called off-time. when you feel the urge to message all these people you use the app and it blocks all the apps you choose on your phone. there is also apps on the computer that block you from accessing the internet. I think one program is called freedom. another is cold turkey but you have to upgrade it. honestly this is my best suggestion. baby steps man.

 

i stumbled upon this thread today and all i can say is please do not continue to solicit dommes to be a live-in. The best way to deal with this crap is to stop it in the beginning.... it starts with no more PMO. If you stay away from this your fetishes and fantasies will lessen. And believe me that is just what is is "a fantasy", being a real live-in slave is not what you are imagining,... you will really be throwing away your life, your $, and everything else you enjoy. You will be living your life entirely for someone else who does not care about anything but using you for their benefit.

What you probably don't understand is the type of woman willing to take you in as a live-in slave could potentially have some real dark twisted ways about her. Of course every situation is different but you know there are some woman into this stuff that are genuine sadists... they will get real pleasure from torturing and humiliating the living hell out of you. They are smart and manipulative enough to know how your dirty fetish filled mind works and they will exploit all those weaknesses to their benefit. If you think porn is damaging and difficult to break away from, you can not imagine what its like in real life. It is an entirely different level. If you feel bad about yourself now imagine what its like knowing everyday you are working for someone else and being subjected to their beatings, humiliation and torture. It is a dark path to go down and if you keep looking for trouble you will end up finding it. Please be smart about this. Listen to everyone here... it starts with stopping PMO. If you can do that the rest will start to fall into play and you will stop feeding these fantasies which can really alter the course of your life. Stay strong.