Boyfriend admitted to a porn addiction — what do I do?

I am sorry you're going through this. In my opinion, it is not necessarily the porn addiction itself that means you should break up with him, but more his attitude in general (though obviously the porn addiction is damaging to the relationship). Telling you to "suck his dick like they do in porn" is extremely rude and degrading. If a guy said that to me I would walk out and let him finish himself. In addition, he does not seem to be actively trying to stop. He told the truth because he was caught - and even then, he only did so "half-heartedly" according to your own words. At the end of the day he is not acting out of love but out of selfishness. He is not genuinely trying to be honest or make improvements. And what does he mean he "can't" quit cold turkey? He simply means he does not care to even try despite how it is making you feel.

It's one thing to date someone who feels terrible that their addiction has caused you pain and is actively trying to stop. It's another altogether for him to continue lying, make excuses and refuse to even try. But the choice is yours.

 

That is gaslighting and is behavior used by abusers all the time. Not saying your boyfriend is abusive but that's a very common tactic used by narcissists. Please be careful with this guy, I would definitely urge you to leave.

 

Ugh ... I fear I'm gonna be the bad guy in this discussion ...

That may be true. Look, I don't know how honest your BF is, I can't read his mind, but this is the nature of all addictions, which I have extensively researched.

And you can find examples in many forum posts and journals posted by people trying to give up their addiction. If you read the journals it sounds like they are liars, in the sense that they promise they'll stop and they don't.

It's not that he wants to be dishonest, but this is what happens, because that's the nature of addiction.

If my gf asked me to do something she saw in a movie, I'd try to do it, even if I didn't like it personally. This is just personal and please don't take this as a suggestion about what girls should do or not do.

To be honest, we may be able to find some degree of "controlledness" in your behaviour. Maybe we could find a word which is less strong, but that's the general idea.

No reason to assume it's a lie.

Except that it doesn't objectify women, and it doesn't classify women, but it objectifies asses and classifies asses.

And most men have interests in certain parts of women's bodies. But that usually doesn't prevent a relationship to the "whole" (I said "usually", maybe sometimes it does).

Personally, I also like asses and I have a preffered shape, it can be described, but it's more complicated, I don't have a google search word for it. But I'm not going to choose or dump a relationship for that reason, that would be ridiculous.

That sadly is usually true, there's a lot of information proving this. It takes a lot of time and effort to be able to quit and not everybody is succesful.

Fact is you obviously have strong feelings that are difficult to overcome.

And also there seems to be a disagreement between what you want him to do about his porn addiction and what he wants to do.

However my point still is that a good relationship should be possible when the guy watches porn. But that's theory, you have to make your own choices about your life.

 

I watched porn behind my girlfriend's back even after I promised her there would be no more. I didn't think I could quit cold turkey then but I believe everyone can now. It comes down to what he really wants in life I think. There are different reasons we lie to our loved ones and maybe if you really really talk with him you may find out if/why he lies.