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Cycle Explained - Why We Do What We Do

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by Miss Winnie, Sep 16, 2018.

  1. Sep 16, 2018 #1
    Miss Winnie

    Miss Winnie Fapstronaut

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    I was reading about sex addiction and came across this cycle:
    1. Pain
    2. Fantasy
    3. Ritual
    4. Acting Out
    5. Guilt & Shame
    What stood out most to me was how guilt & shame from not being able to curb desires causes or adds to the pain that makes me feel like I need to go to the “happy place” of fantasizing.

    Thoughts?
     
    Miss Winnie, Sep 16, 2018
    Miss Winnie, Sep 16, 2018
    #1
    Trappist and What I Do That Defines Me like this.
  2. Sep 16, 2018 #2
    Miss Winnie

    Miss Winnie Fapstronaut

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    First I thought it was just being addicted to M’ing plus fantasizing, but M might be a behavior as a result if sex addiction.

    I took the test about sex addiction and got like the score of 14 (though I don’t necessarily engage in many activities, I do still think about sex a lot) test recommended by @Gods_princess and @GhostWriter

    Anyway, I chase and feed the desire for sex and the high, but feel SUPER down after & not really satisfied & always thought that was normal.
     
    Miss Winnie, Sep 16, 2018
    Miss Winnie, Sep 16, 2018
    #2
    What I Do That Defines Me likes this.
  3. Sep 17, 2018 #3
    Deleted Account

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    Bit above my pay grade, but I did used to have a moderate drug addiction.
    The root of it was unhappiness and sometimes even boredom, but I quit due to the guilt amd shame.
    Now, some of the issues remain so I drink too much or pursue this sex addiction.
    I guess we need to look at what is wrong with our lives, understand how the brain and desires work, plus have a little old-fashioned self-discipline.
    I have this Daniel Day Lewis-type of character in my head that roars 'Put the dick down, boy!'.
     
    Deleted Account, Sep 17, 2018
    Deleted Account, Sep 17, 2018
    #3
    Miss Winnie likes this.
  4. Sep 23, 2018 #4
    Miss Winnie

    Miss Winnie Fapstronaut

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    Lol nice feature at the end haha
    You said it alright
     
    Miss Winnie, Sep 23, 2018
    Miss Winnie, Sep 23, 2018
    #4
  5. Sep 23, 2018 #5
    Miss Winnie

    Miss Winnie Fapstronaut

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    1 week since being intimate & I can happily say this week was great since my mind wasn’t on sex as much; it was maybe 10 min as opposed to like hours of thinking.

    Always been crazy preoccupied with school, studying, and stressing about that.
     
    Miss Winnie, Sep 23, 2018
    Miss Winnie, Sep 23, 2018
    #5
  6. Sep 23, 2018 #6
    Pinetree

    Pinetree Fapstronaut

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    That's a very important point, that guilt increases the addiction. And that's one of the reasons I haven't set up a PMO tracker.

    Which is especially tough for religious people.
     
    Pinetree, Sep 23, 2018
    Pinetree, Sep 23, 2018
    #6
    Miss Winnie likes this.

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