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Fighting the demons

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Love Salvation, May 15, 2018.

  1. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

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    Hi im 22 yr old male ,
    ive struggled with P since about 12
    ive struggled with M since about 7
    ive had a pretty rough life of abadonment
    and abuse
    when i was 3 yrs old my grandpa raped me (only came to the knowledge this year being 22 )
    and when i was 5yrs old my sister would abuse me and force herself onto me (Her being one year older i still dont fathom this ) When i was 7 my parents spilt up and i stayed with my dad for a bit then went into foster care (from 7-18) where i had bad encounters with other people who had the same abuse (trying to make this easier for people reading not to be to descript ) thats lead me to severing my mind spiritually so it doesnt work like normal , i havent a hard remembering yesterday or staying focused on things due to my concious my fuzzed and my sub concious working over time making me very sub conciously smart haha .
    Ive been doing healing on my brokeness the past 6 months and its lead to many deep layers of myself exposed making pm not easy, im right now staying in a homeless shelter (not too bad bunk beds and clean place for up to 30days ) trying to continue seeking rhe Lord Jesus and work on healing so i can live a proper life and Love without hindances . PM being one of them. Anyways i may update this over time but this is a quick story for now
    -Congrats to all the fighters out there keep it up
     
    Roady likes this.
  2. Septimus

    Septimus Fapstronaut

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    Welcome! I'm glad you're here.

    I'm so sorry for the horrific experiences you described. There are professionals who might be able to help you; I hope you can find that help. I hope you keep coming back here.
     
    Roady likes this.
  3. Love Salvation

    Love Salvation Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the encouragment !
    I needed somewhere to let this out.
    Professional help actually didnt help much , ive done my own work with Holy spirit leading me . Bring things up forgiving those people and renoucing bitterness etc and ive been able to work more and have more energy and many other such improvements . Professionals are trained in nothing that has helped me . i taught one therapist i had (very good one cost $110/hr ) however even she wasnt as helpful. After im healed i want to help people thru the healing process like myself and help them . Im on day 2 i think due to this weekend ive never felt so lonely since childhood (a good sign for healing but hard as ever )
     

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