NO PMO & Abstinent Relationship

Hey forum,

I’m new to this website but not new to sexual integrity. I’m on step 10 or a 12 step program and using this website as my daily inventory. I also have a girlfriend and we’ve done our best to remain abstinent. We’ve had oral sex twice in 1 year, and never had full-on intercourse. I haven’t PMO’d since January 12, 2017, but last bated on January 28th of this year. Please support me with my goal to completely give up masturbation and continue in abstinence!

 

Day 9 without PMO and going strong. I’m learning the lingo, and now know I’m playing on ‘hard mode’. I don’t have cable, my internet is all plugged into a program called ‘covenant eyes’, and i do a solid job keeping my eyes off other women. My only real temptation is my drop dead gorgeous girlfriend. She is as fine as any woman could be. So keeping my eyes and mind off her body is critical to prevent lust. And mark my words, P and M both start with lust.

 

Wrapping up day 10. Had a few moments of hard lust thinkinf about my girlfriend. Due to more than a year without really observing or atleast oogling any other chick, i really only lust about her. Although i used to watch porn, albeit infrequently, i can’t picture any of the woman’s bodies or faces. I think it takes about 6 months for those to fade away for me. So now it’s only my gf, who i saw naked as recently as about 10 days ago. Without going into detail, she is hotter than anyone I’ve ever seen in real life or naw. I keep my hands off her because I’m saving sex for marriage. Moreover, I want to dedicate every part of my life to Jesus Christ, including my johnson (lol). Anyway, another day in the books and ending with prayer. Thank you Jesus.

 

WRapping up a successful day 11 in hard mode. Again thats 11 days without MO, about 380 without P. I think the longest I’ve gone without MO is about 6 weeks. Really want to improve on that. Must lust ia strongest at morning and night. I see myself in the mirror and think about making a move on my gf. It’s pretty silly. But my peiner is on lockdown, hardmode remember? When lustfull thoughts come i quote part of ephesians 5:3 “not even a hint”. That’s my sword. And saying it when lustful thoughts first occur is my first line of defense. Saying those words retrains my brain. Also brings God into the equation. That’s it for tonight.

 

Hard mode is hard.. MO’d on saturday.. no real excuse. Back to prayer and devos.

 

Successful day. Only fantasized about my gf for about 2 minutes on 2 separate occassions. Attended Celebrate Recovery and spilled my guts out in the group meeting. Dedicated my day to God.

 

Failed and MOd today. Thought about my girlfriend too too much. Joined a 30 day nofap challenge. I also met with an accountability partner and had 12 step class, in pursuit of sexual integrity.

 

BArely made it by today without hooking up with my SO. We prayed and did a quick devotion when we first met up. We started to slide as she got a little looser on wine. As we were driving back to my apartment i thought about speaking up but didntyhave the courage. That’s such bullshit because i do have the courage. We got inside and started making out. All of the sudden she went to the bathroom and came back and stopped us. She doesn’t want me to touch her till marriage, she said. I need to step up and be a man, she said. True-er words have never been spoken.

Anyway, made it through 24 hours of hard mode by the grace of God.

 

Have made it through another 24 hours by the grace of God. My SO’s words yesterday really hit me hard, “I need you to step up, I need you to be a man”. Also, not getting anywhere with her sexually meant I had no reward, only shame for trying. For anyone reading this, we are both playing on hard mode as we are saving sex for marriage.

I am so thankful that she stopped us. It was kind of verification from God that I’m supposed to be with her. Praise God for putting this girl in my life! Day 2 of hard mode in the books!

 

Exhausted but making it. 72 hours in the books.. i think. So tired night night world

 

The goal is pretty clear and simple to state: semen retention, celibacy and abstinence untill marriage. Yes my girlfriend is completely on board with this. Goal comes from what we both believe is God’s will for us.. that we should save sexual pleasure for marriage. Neither of us are virgins and I used to pmo, now just mo. It’s a battle! But I’ve been without MO for a few days

 

Day 6 without MO. Pretty decent day. I was on an airplane and i always find it difficult not to think about my gf sexually when on planes. Idk why lol. Anyway i kept repeating ephesians 5:3 “not even a HINT” (which is my sword) and even reverted to the serenity prayer. Anyways, although i dwelled for a few minutes i was able to get through it without carrying any sexual baggage forward.

Sometimes when i lust too much i will carry sexual baggage with me. It’s like holding an errection too long generates more semen which my body demands to expell. Even if there are days in between lusting, that tension reduces at a very slow rate.

Onto day 7

 

DAY 7 is a wrap. I really struggled today thinking about the last time my gf and i fooled around. But i used this site to calm me down, and I’m earnestly praying that God gives me a day of freedom tomorrrow!

 

Wrapping up day 8. Very little lustful thoughts today and no temptation to MO. I prayed lasted night that Jesus would take most temptation away from we which He did. Also worked step 10 of my 12 steps. Going to do the same tomorrow.

 

Wrapping up day 9. Hard mode is incredibly hard. Why does my girlfriend have to be so ridiculously sexy? How can i keep her body out of my mind? Doesn’t help that i just sent her a shirtless picture of myself. Kind of stupid in retrospect. I’m going to pray that I’m able to make it theough tomorrow.

 

Day 10 in the books.

I was unbelievably turned on while alone with my gf last night. But I’m playing on hard mode. I didn’t violate any of our rules. Probably even more importantly i prayed in the shower before.

 

Day 11 in the books. Did everything but orgasm with my gf yesterday in her hot tub. Feeling bad but made it through retaining semen.