My Story

Keep your head up soldier, you'll make it. You just gotta keep trying

 

@Travis90210 you have done a courageous and noble thing by coming here. I can feel the intensity and pain in your resolve. This is exactly the emotion and strength it takes tackle such a big problem.

Although I can't invent a time machine, I can look at life from a different perspective than you are in. The choices you are making to conquer your appetites, and bridal your passions with serve you well the rest of your life in relationships to come. I wish I had the courage and resolve as you do at age 18. Instead I pissed away 30yrs of my life in a stupid mind funk. You have your whole life ahead of you and although it's not currently in the state you want it, you have already discovered it HAS to change. Remarkable.

I suggest start with small goals and achieve them. Vigilance is your reward. You don't have to conquer it all at once. Just decide and try to do today well. It will be very interesting where this journey takes you.


"By the inch it's a cinch, by the yard it's hard'

 

I can only imagine that after typing all of that, you felt a huge relief because it seems like theres nobody you can truly run to to hear you out. Youre not the only one i promsie you. And thats why nofap is here. This is a community all led by one goal: to become the best version of yourself by ridding yourself of addiction. Youve come to the right place. Were all here to help each other out.

Your second to last paragraph was very powerful, you even motivated me big time. Your resolve to not give up, despite how much crap you believe your life is, you have that strong attitude that no matter in how much crap youre in, youre gonna get the heck out and youre gonna overcome it. THATS the kind of attitude that everyone should have. DONT LOSE THAT. Even if you relapse a bunch of times, youre gonna get back up every single tome and fight harder. This lifestyle is jot an easy one hut the benefits will be huge. Those dreams of that better person that you have? Visualize it on a daily basis. Close your eyes everyday and think of that. Dont just dream it. Take note of things you can do to get closer to that person.

You feel super discouraged, i completely understand ive been there and ive felt ive had mobody to run to. Nofap helped me a lot. Being able to write on here, make a journal, and help others has strongly benefited my motivation to quit porn. So since youre starting out, stay on nfap and read read read. Read the relapse reports and see how they feel about it (like crap) and let that help you not relapse because itll remind you how you feel. Read the success stories of the countless people who have been able to keep a streak, stay strong and gain confidence in general and even with girls.
Educate yourself on the addiction, what it does to you and things you can do to rewire your brain. Remember by all the time youve spent with porn, youve physically changed your brain and wired it to get this natural releass of dopamine from porn, which is a non natural stimulant. Real sex is natural.

Im jot too good at helping others yet and expressing my thoughts clearly, but the point i wanna put out is were all here to help and never give up in the fight. And also remember, youll never be judged here. And be proud youre making the RIGHT decision on quitting porn at a good age. You and me both have a full life ahead of us still, we got tike to change it around and really enjoy our youth. Lets do it together man

 

It is obvious to anyone reading your post that you are in pain. I'm sure many of us can actually feel your pain because it was or still is ours as well. Know that you are not alone. Keep reading posts from other folks & I encourage you to continue to write your thoughts & feelings. If you are like me, keeping them inside for so long, it just feels good to get them out!
Peace - Arpy

 

Welcome to the club, though i managed to ruin 20 years, i guess you must be a bit older than me.

To the OP, i'd say well done for recognising the problem at your age, it will be difficult especially since you are at that age where guys like to 'play the field' so to speak, you will have temptation all around you but when I was 18 it didn't even occur to me that me viewing porn would have such dire consqeunces for me later on in life. It's possible to stop with the right support.

 

Hey Travis, how are your thoughts? Are they clean? I have also looked back into my past and wished that I had never looked at porn. But looking at porn was inevitable for me because my thoughts were not clean. It took me 20+ years to figure this out unfortunately. My advice to you is to divert your thoughts away from anything that is even borderline arousing.

Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny.

It's not too late for you to change your destiny.

 

Hello Travis90210,

I felt this way for a long time, and sometimes I still feel this way.

This is what's helping me:

• Avoiding all pornographic and erotic content, including even music videos with dancing girls or photos of attractive (clothed) women on social networks. Erotic anime, manga, and books also count.
• Avoid ogling women IRL.
• Avoid sexual and even romantic thoughts fantasies. I have no real experience, so all my fantasies are essentially porn substitutes for me.
• I try to talk more IRL. This includes anything from even a small talk to talking about my problems.
• I attend 12-step meetings. It's nice that you already know that 12 steps are. This program helps me a lot.
• I have a list of my triggers, which includes things I mentioned above and also things like staying in my bed while not sleeping, which provokes me to fantasize.
• I have a list of things to do so that when I feel bored I can just open it and pick what to do.

This is my big problem. I'm not honest about how I feel, I hide my pain inside and let it build up. Recently I am trying to break this habit by saying how I really feel.