Why do guys stare at me but don't approach?

It was just clumsy flirting.

Well, keep going to clubs to meet guys, because fuckboys never go there.

Because people don't go to clubs to talk. And they don't often go to pubs to talk to strangers, unless they intend to have sex with them. And guys don't want to get into a fight over a girl, so they won't talk to you if you're with a guy. And girls see you as competition, so they won't talk to you unless they came with you.

 

What about joining hobby groups or other social groups, instead of trying to meet people at bars and clubs?

 

If you're going to use them to be confident in a club, at least talk favourably about them. Let's all take a moment of silence, for our beta orbiting brothers, in the friend-zone

Okay now join a social club, sports club, book club, or smile at guys in the shops. Basically (no alcohol = less douches)

 

It is a normal thing for guys to just stare and not do anything about it. I am one of these people. But this is because the onus to make the first move is always thrust onto the men. So with this, they have a constant pressure to "be the man" and that in my perspective is what makes girls appear as scary.

So I guess my advice would be to make yourself as approachable as possible. Let them know that girls aren't actually scary, and make it easier for them to approach you. Smile, be friendly and acknowledge that they are probably the most nervous they've been in a while just talking to you. This is actually a great sign because it means their feelings are genuine. If you do this you will attract the right people. Because realistically, most of the guys who actually approach you first are probably the douchebags.

There's also no rules saying you can't approach guys. If you like what you see then you can go over and let them know, dare them to do something about it if they are interested as well. You don't have to see this as "being the man", it could be better seen as you taking the initiative for something you want instead of it waiting to happen. Cos like I said before, the douchebag to every other guy approaching you ratio is very unbalanced.

 

LOL

 

A lot of helpful replies and not so helpful ones.
1. Don’t go with guy
2. If u think u are that pretty, then u are the one selecting. Tea house or club where will u rather pick a partner.
3. Genuine guys are likely shy compared to players. So green light then he will be encouraged
4. Class and respect commands same. Be nice, approachable and courteous to everyone and you won’t even need to look too long
5. Staring at you doesn’t mean they want relationship. Esp at clubs.

 

If you're waiting for the guy to approach you will have to deal with a lot of "alpha male" types. That nerdy guy who doesn't approach? Yeah, that's teh one you want. He's the guy who is not going to approach some other woman too after you're married. He's the one who will want to stay home with you and the kids Friday nights.
I think someone side it right on an earlier reply: pick your target, and let him know you're interested. Give him the green light, encourage him to approach.

 

This. I've met some 10/10 that were complete biatches... making them a -5/10. Would i have f-ed them back in the day? sure. but it'd be for pleasure only.

 

Hi green lion eating the sun,

I am one of those guys who is a bit scared to approach a pretty girl. I have improved a bit now...but have a lot to improve.

I read all the comments in the thread. Now that a lot of people shared their opinion why guys don't approach..could u share a few points to be kept in mind while approaching a girl. Now, I know that libraries are the places to meet girl haha.

 

Firstly green lion eating the sun, This Apeman salutes you. 241 days of nofap is a great achievement.




Thanks for the info. About, the law of attraction thingy, I coincidentally mentioned about the very same topic just a few hours back, in my journal (https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/my-fight-against-pmo-addiction.133123/page-3).

Keep up the good work.

 

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1283742524978148

I saw this ages ago and it conveniently popped up on my feed today. But yeah this is pretty much what I was framing my idea on in my earlier post if you wanted more detail.

 

That's so trippy seeing a room full of women getting dating advice... But everything that guy said seems to be on point

 

Exactly, men cant tell if its your friend or your boyfriend or t least your date. Stop going out with guys, simple as that...

 

I love threads like this because most of the time it’s guys coming in to play the nice guy by saying “a lot of men are pussies which is why they didn’t approach” or “technology has made men weak” or my favorite “men are clueless when it comes to signals” etc etc in a way of saying “it’s not you OP, it’s them”. That is until @Lazarus Shuttlesworth came in keeping it real af with the possibility of “maybe it’s you OP?”

So you’re jumping back into the dating scenes and expecting instant results, which I would say is your first problem. With dating apps and such there are tons of options for guys, so we’re no longer going to jump for the first available option. Plus let’s be real, a guy who does jump like this is a turn off for most women anyway. Secondly, if you are coming off too forward then you look desperate and desperation is a turn off to men just as much as it is to women. When I’ve had women do it to me it instantly turns me off, even if she’s a 10. Thirdly, stop bumming smokes. It makes you look like a mooch which could be why the guy asked “what are you going to give me”? I know I would have asked the same thing if I saw a girl bumming smokes from everyone until she made it my way.

Lastly, do you want to know what works better than bumming a smoke? Well how about going up to them and saying “Hi! My names is....what’s your name?” This is called an introduction and it’s incredibly effective in conveying the fact that you’re interested in someone.

 

if you are serious about meeting girls for potential gf id say you need certain spots that have loyal customers to come to like coffee shops or something or take up some kinda lessons,time is your friend here,a girl that well frequently visit that place to have her coffee an read her book or something then just randomly talk to her like you would a good friend slowly an each day open up to her ,thats my guess i have no idea how to get girlfriend lol

 

Generally speaking guys can be such pussies. It's hard to approach someone especially at a nightclub by yourself without coming across as a total dickweed. But, ultimately it stems from confidence I knew buddies who could approach women with no problem whatsover. For me it was harder to go up to women at a club especially a complete stranger and hit on them. It depends on the guy I guess.