Becoming a fapstronaught - Introduction

Hey guys,
I don't want to reveal my name so as an alternative you can call me Jeff (my name's Jeff). I'm 18 years old and I started masturbating at the age of 11 and started regularly using porn by 13. Till now, I've been masturbating at least once a day and usually do much more when I'm free. I want to stop this habit for good after relapsing many times.

The reason I want to stop this habit is because -
1) I feel I've started objectifying women a lot, I only see them as sex objects (I'm being completely honest so please don't judge) and because of this I'm not able to see the subtle beauty in them; their differences, personality, their non-sexual features like their eyes etc. Even my girlfriend said I'm only seeing her as someone who is there ONLY to fulfill my sexual needs (though we haven't done much since a long time but yeah I'm always horny in front of her so I get where she's coming from)

2) My relationship with my girlfriend is becoming a complete mess, now I'm not gonna lie, she is equally at fault in some areas but as I pointed above I'm making her feel like a sex object and I believe porn has got to do a lot with this so to improve my relationship, I want to leave this sickness forever.

3) I don't know, I just have this feeling that once I quit this, this chaos and fog in my mind which I'm so used to and think is normal will go away and I'll get this new perspective on life.

4) Lastly, I'm a very passionate guy, I want to become a famous singer/songwriter but lately I just feel I'm not able to do anything which will contribute to that success, I've become less creative and I want to get that jolt back, I'm motivated but I'm not able to use that motivation to achieve my goals so I hope leaving this habit will give me that kick.

Though I still find girls beautiful without noticing their sexual features, I feel I'm only turned on only by busty girls with big areolae in porn (yes I've become that specific) and this makes me scared because I don't want to end up with such a detail-oriented way of selecting my partner.

Anyway, I'm gonna go over the challenges section and declare my aim over there and will maintain a daily journal no matter how small it is and yeah I guess that's it for the introduction...

Let's begin the change, fapstronaughts.

 

thank you for the motivation and tips!

 

I do agree with you in most of your statements but I wish to state that men and women, both of us are beautiful creatures, we're different and that's what makes us beautiful. Sure, a lot of men are suffering from this porn addiction but that doesn't make us filthy, just like cancer wouldn't make us filthy; it's a sickness or a problem which has to be resolved. So TL;DR - all of us are beautiful.