Finally had sex!

Hey guys,

For those who have read my journal (if any), you know that I have suffered from erectile dysfunction ever since I became sexually active.

Because of this issue, I was very unconfident sexually. The new attempts I had a sex always ended in failure, and things just got worse and worse. I dated my first girlfriend for 6 months, and eventually she left me because the issue was causing a lot of fights and frustration. Needless to say, my situation broke my spirit many times and made me question my masculinity. It was at the time of breaking up with my girlfriend that I finally decided it was time to join nofap and quit porn and masturbation. I always thought that might have been the problem, but up until the break up I wasn't willing to do what was necessary to fix it.

I'm happy to say that nearly 4 months later I am almost completely healed. I had successful sex for the second time last night, and it was amazing. Mind you, it was with my ex-girlfriend. We ended up getting back together and things have been pretty great so far. My only issue now is that I seem to need to get head before sex for else I won't get rock hard. I'm sure this will get better with time, I just find it weird and don't consider myself full healed until I can do it without oral.

The road was long and not necessarily linear. I regressed a few times, not because I succumbed to the temptations of porn, but simply because some days my libido would be back, other days it would disappear again. My erections came and gone too. At first they would be absent for long periods of time, but eventually the times were I couldn't have one become shorter and shorter.

Things I did:
Made a schedule
Tried not to stay in my room
Meditated
Exercised
Ate healthier
Had a friend or two I could confide in
Rewired with partners (wasn't back with my girlfriend right away)

Whatever the case, give yourself time to heal. I know it sucks waiting...MAN does it suck. But once you're finally at the finish line, you'll look back on everything and wonder why it took you so long to change in the first place. Porn and masturbation no long control my life. I no longer use them as a mechanism for being stressed or depressed. I only orgasm when with a partner, and I can promise you it's a lot more satisfying than with yourself. I feel like I'm finally in control of my life again. I've conquered my biggest issue, all other goals seem possible now.

 

Stay strong friend. If you are like me, after three months you were upset because you weren't healed yet. But I promise you'll be there before you know it.

 

Well progress kind of came and went, but I say I started knowing I was getting better when I didn't have super strong urges to watch porn anymore. The idea could come up in my head and I wouldn't feel the need to jerk it. Around 2-3 months I got a blow job really fast from this girl and at that time I knew I was improving. Since then things have been getting better. I still am having some issues with performance, and even last night I wasn't able to get it up again ( i think this is because I'm feeling sick though, my penis feels dead.) Either way, things are improving.