Living free

This is wonderful to hear!! How are things going with your wife? My marriage was nearly over when my husband found NoFap. The reboot and doing daily FANOS and cuddling has literally saved our marriage.

 

its good to know you are in a good state right now. Keep it up

 

Major congrats. I love stories like these.

 

Congratulations, Devorian! Love hearing you are much more free to love life, your wife and your kids now!

 

fupornwife here's your FANOS info from your post:

"FANOS is a daily check in with your spouse to practice emotional intimacy. It's from the Greek word that means to shine or reveal.

F Feelings--state your feelings, not your thoughts.

A Affirmation/acknowledge--give your spouse an affirmation--or say thank you for something.

N Needs--ask for something you need (knowing that sometimes your need will not be fulfilled)

O Own something you did. Say you are sorry.

S Sobriety--the addict will check in with his or her spouse about his or her sobriety. If sobriety is no longer an issue, you may each choose something you want to change, ie, habitual TV watching, rage, withdrawal, sarcasm, ect.) for your spiritual growth and check in about your progress with that issue." (end of quote).

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HEALTHY, MATURE F-A-I-R PEOPLE (MEN AND WOMEN)

fupornwife -- Your post goes on to say that FANOS was developed by a woman.
In my opinion, it seems to be a controlling attempt. It seems to promote-emphasize the fulfilling of women's needs & enjoyments -- and deter fulfilling men's needs & enjoyments. Does it promote *fairness in a marriage? Or does it spotlight (100 watt bulb) women's needs -- and dissuade-deter-demise .... penlight (4 watt bulb) men's needs?

 

YOU GET,

I could be wrong, but from what I remember about FANOS, the book I read it in was by a female author, but the tool was given to her by her couple's counselor (the gender of whom I can't remember--but that shouldn't really matter).

Also, since it's a tool for BOTH partners to share what they Feel, Acknowledge, Need, etc., it's as *Fair* as the individuals allow it to be for themselves. If a man feels his needs need to be taken more seriously by her… he's an adult. He can ask for what he needs. FANOS just provides a daily platform to give him space to do so.

My husband and I have been using the tool for about five years now, and I think he'd say it is completely fair, but wait, let me ask him. … … …

Okay, I'm back. My husband, jfromcr, said this:

"It's a COMPLETELY FAIR tool. That being said, if a man is in the midst of trying to repair his relationship after years of meeting his own needs without his wife, selfishly, it may be time for THAT MAN to focus a 100-watt bulb on her needs--to motivated to do so on his own. HE may have to show that her needs are way more important than his… at least for a while.

BUT, yes, FANOS is a completely balanced tool.

The stuff I said about making her a priority is what HEALS the relationship beyond what *ONLY completely fair* tools can heal."​

Hope that helps.