It's done!!! I'm out of my addiction!!!

Dear nofappers,

I did it, I really did it and I'm so sure like never in my life.

It was all a coincidence, it's unbelievable:
I'm meditating for about a year (every day 30 minutes), still had problems with watching porn and all, despite porn blockers and all counter measures.

Now I came from a 10 day meditation course and want to share my experience with you guys. Before the course I was expecting to relax a bit during the course and to be able to relax better after the course.
BUT:
The meditation course was the most hard working days I had in my life. You basically meditate around 8 h a day which is physically as well as mentally very challenging. Now I keep on meditating at least 2 h hours a day, to feel fully aware of my surroundings.

I learned a technique which connects my unconscious mind directly with my body. Basically the technique is the original taught by the first Buddha which works only with breath, body, concious and unconscious mind. No dogma, religion, no text to have in mind or any other object around, just pure meditation. The technique turned out to be very efficient on me, which doesn't necessary work for everyone, but for me it does the trick. Now I don't have any cravings or extreme aversions for anything anymore, including porn. I can finally live the life I ever wanted with meditation. If I stop meditation the cravings come back though. But I've made a very aware decision to live my life with meditation and finally see and hear everything which is around me without being in too negative or too positive thoughts. It's such a relief. It is super hard at the beginning because all the sensations will come up but I just had to integrate meditation into the day come what may and everything was fine. I ignored work and all and some of my responsibilities at the beginning, just to meditate. The sacrifice was worth every minute of meditation. I can work more efficient than ever in my life, I don't have any mental issues anymore. Everything is just good as it is now

I won't recommend any organisation who offers pure meditation, because I don't want to favour one or the other and I have only experience with one of them. Just watch out that there is no object except yourself (for example body and breath) involved during the meditation practice and you should be fine. There are a bunch of organisations which offer that but a lot of sects, cults and religions as well. Just be careful and make sure that you don't get brain washed because basically the technique is very good to brain wash people. They can basically make you meditate with your toothbrush then and when your toothbrush is gone you'll be incredibly sad and you'll watch porn again
It all sounds like a miracle but it isn't, it is simply hard work and every single person has to make the effort on it's own. One first step to try if it works for you is search for an organisation around you and do a pure meditation course, be disciplined and just see if it's working for you. No one can make any step in the progress for you. The power to overcome your addictions is all in your self guys, you just can't see/feel it.


I hope you'll all find the relief I found with whichever technique works for you.
For me the problem is no problem anymore. I feel confident to unblock all my porn blockers now because I'm simply aware that I won't consume porn in any moment of my life. I finally can delete all the porn from my disk or even leave it and will still never watch porn again, I'm in peace and balance with myself.

Last but not least: I want to thank all of you guys who helped with replies, new threads and all other kind of support. You're all awesome and may all of you have peace in your mind too

 

No clue how to fix the typo in the title btw.

 

Btw. Another insight arose in me. Porn is neither good or bad. Of course it's causing a lot of pain and all but if you really confront yourself with the object porn it is not good and not bad. You have to look at it from a balanced perspective to find real peace, without relapses and all. Another person is an object at a present moment like porn too. (I know this sentence sounds wrong but it isn't for everyone ^^) But think about it: If you have unaware sex, not in the present moment you're basically creating a lot of attachment to the object person, you'll create the same attachment to the object porn when you have unaware sex (fapping) with it. This has to do with one fact: We love nothing more than ourselves. Look at it precisely: Do you think you love your mom, your wife or girl friend? No you don't, actually the persons are causing a wonderful warm feeling in your chest and you get close to those people to get the feeling, so pure self love, no love to another person
The only difference between porn and a person is that you can please (having compassion) the person, but you can't please porn. So at the core level the only "right" way to have sex would be to do it only for pleasing the other person without having any benefit from it. I know this is very hard, maybe even impossible to do for almost every being on this planet ^^
So don't condemn porn because other people say so, just leave it as is, an object without judging it. Don't be sad for any relapse, just feel the sensations on your body without judging it, don't get a nice feeling after consuming porn but just feel the sensation on your body without judging it. Just be aware in the present moment, totally balanced and the problem porn, relapse and cravings will evaporate because they simply have no space to exist
To describe it further: Even when you see yourself fapping/relapsing it's not a bad thing. Don't stop immediately and create aversion (sadness) towards it and don't punish yourself. The right way to stop fapping would be with awareness and if you can't stop tell yourself. Ok, I'm addicted which is totally fine, I'm a human being, I can allow myself to be addicted. And then just observe the sensations in the body during fapping (works best with closed eyes). Is your head warm, yes? Ok go on (without judging - it is not positive or negative, it's just there as it is), How about chest, penis, legs etc and so on. With every millisecond with which you remain totally balanced towards the sensation of the body you're making progress with your addiction and you're bound to come out of it This is basically the art of meditation during real life.
I know this sounds awful and is hard to understand. But I already tried it, I watched and fapped in the present moment. And the things I wrote work for me, I don't have cravings for fapping or watching further and I don't even consider this as a relapse since I did it on purpose and with awareness, exactly knowing what happened with my body sensations. I don't feel that I'm addicted anymore. At some point, I rather feel like milking a cow without getting any milk and don't see any sense in doing that. I could even fap regularly now without getting addicted but I feel MYSELF that it cost's a lot of energy and drains me a bit so that I MYSELF decide to not do it at all. Nobody needs to tell me that, it comes from myself now.

But most important: Don't belief or do anything because I say so. Do it/ Don't do it just because you really feel (having sensations) like doing it/not doing something YOURSELF and not because of any other reason. Everyone has to find his own solution to the problem. Else it'll never work.

Hope I can help with my texts

 

If you're really disciplined then you don't need a teacher. Courses are just good for discipline since other people are doing the same as you do and courses are much more intense and give faster results. At least I've never heard of anybody who's just meditating 8h for 10 days during his/her free time without blinking an eye and questioning himself ^^

But 10 minutes might be a bit short for feeling your breath at the beginning. Just extend to 20 minutes and see if you can feel only natural breath through your nose. If you don't feel it, breathe a bit harder for a short time and go back to natural breath after that or extend the time again
Text me if you can feel the breath I can give you further instructions then.

 

Hey, I'm meditating 1h in morning, 1h in the evening and meditating when ever I find time for it which would else be wasted,e.g. waiting in queues etc

 

It doesn't matter actually. I don't want to make commercials for any organisation. If you want I'll text you the organisation where I did it and what I think about them now as a personal message