Day 142: Climbing Out of Our Own Pit

Hello again my Soldiers of the Path. I hope you are well.

I wanted to share a message about living the porn free life. I urge you to not focus so much on not masturbating to porn, never looking and completely abstaining. While those habits must be developed, there is too much pressure on thinking about it all the time.

I notice a trend in the communities, both here and Reddit. The trend and pattern is to devote all your energy to not masturbating, to not watching porn. This is not the way that I have come to know as success. What has led me to get to this point, and to get to my previous two years clean, is changing the person that used to use porn. Try not to focus on porn or anti-porn so much, just relax a little.

Everything is going to be fine everyone. You are all going to become the person you have always wanted to be. As long as you are aware of the problem you can systematically change your weak-points into strength. When you act like your life is over due to a relapse, you end up creating much more trouble than what actually happened. Just chill. All you need is a few days under your belt to get rolling. Once you are past the first week you will find that sensitivity to fade and an inner strength arising.

The path is about ups and downs. You are bound to relapse, and that is ok! You won't overdose and die or end up in the hospital, you will just feel shitty for a while. Even if you are in the thick of it, the real addictive pain of constant relapse, chances are you are going to make it because you are here reading this. I went through ten years of pain but I made it out. I don't hate the ten years either. I actually know that all that pain and suffering made me into the man I am today. All I had to do was learn that the struggle was good for me. The resistance built strength and character. Now I look at struggle and resistance in a positive light and I see it as the next challenge to conquer, just like porn.

This addiction is like a deep whole in the ground that we dug, climbed into and then threw the shovel above ground. You have no light, the hole is so deep it is completely dark. All you have in the end is you. The community is there above ground cheering you on, but really the strength and resolution to win must come from you, there is no rope in that hole, there is no one reaching down and grabbing you.

What happens is eventually you get some light shined into the whole from the sun. The sun rises after a long dark night and shines light right into this deep pit and exposes the sides of the pit. There are jagged rocks all along the walls going straight up to the top. Once you realize that there is a way out, you slowly attempt to climb out step by step.

You actually make some progress, but then slip and fall again. You can get bummed and sad, and you do the first few slips, but really there is no where else to go after a while and you start to climb again. This happens enough and you memorize the path up. You start to recognize what rocks have good traction and which ones lead straight back down.

Slowly you make your way to the top and climb out of the very hole that you dug. Everyone is at the top and congratulating you, hugging you and letting you know that you made it. Then the community can navigate the rest of the way, they can help you avoid other holes that other people dug and they can show you tools to quickly climb out of the next one, if you fall again.

The whole time, with each fall, there was a way out. All you needed was the light shining on the steps. Once you saw that it was possible, you easily make the decision to climb back up. It may not be easy, it will be difficult at times. It will seem downright impossible. But you have to try, remember what steps work and avoid the slips.

I love you guys. Can't wait till you see what it looks like up here. Remember, even if it is your dark night, I can see from here. I can see the steps. Start Climbing.

 

Thankyou.