90 Days no wanking, pulling, stroking, beating the meat or orgasm.

I got emotional this morning... after a woodie when i woke.

Day 90 It's one hell of an achievement for me not cracking one off for 3 months.

I feel different, confident with myself that i have more control over what i do and think sexually.

It was a well needed change for my life. I'm currently not in a sexual relationship and it has crossed my mind whether i should masturbate again or not as there is no other sexual outlet available to me at the moment.

I've chosen to abstain and try hard mode until i am in a relationship.... the reason being masturbation over 32 years have has help destroy four relationships and a marriage. The next one i want to go into as clean as i can.

I have no plans to leave nofap for a while yet. I have still hard work to do with urges, dopamine and other habits that will be now easier to tackle now i've tackled one of the hardest tasks a man could undertake.

I'm more confident around people including women. I've now also starting building more of a social life outside of the digital realm. This has been a great by product of doing nofap.... Less time for social media.

I feel alive, happy, healthy and ready to tackle each and everyday now.

I'm researching a lot and learning a lot on brain chemistry in particular dopamine. It is very enlightening to know the central role it plays in almost EVERYTHING to do with our culture from sex to shopping to eating to marketing influence for being sold to by the media giants.

We are essentially fucking zombies high on dopamine most of the time... and in this civilization one who can enlighten themselves about how it is used to influence us all in our daily lives not just porn, is someone who stands out from the crowd and in a position to achieve what they want.

Stay cool brothers... there is a life outside of porn and it is waiting for you... grab it with both hands leave your dick in your trousers for the women in your life.

 

Thanks a lot @JoeinMD. I'll be spending more time in and around threads in general now. I need to keep appearing here, it reminds me of where to focus and where not to fail. Yes... i wish you luck in your journey too. I hope you do make it in a few months it's a tremendous feeling, feeling clean.

 

Thanks @ronswanson Thanks a lot!

@PotentLife .. from november 1st this year i started project 365 .. a picture a day which i post to my photography blog. I last did it in 2011 when i separated from my wife. This time my journey and progress is being documented visually in an anonymous way. each picture has a special meaning to me. Some to do with the recovery other to do with thoughts, and daily realisations. It's a good way for me to give it some focus and provide cathartic energy to my work.

 

I am very happy for you @britaxe. It is, indeed, a tremendous achievement to have completed your goal. I am also pleased to see that you are aware that the hard work does not end there. Numerous stories, including my own, relate how a lapse (or even a relapse) occurred from 90+ back to zero. It is not necessary to live in fear, so to speak. But it is necessary to be vigilant, to "nip in the bud" fantasies and behaviours that would make compromise seem easy or vital.

 

@Framones all i did really was commit to not having a wank every day. I visualised watching myself do it.... it's not a nice sight.. it's a turn off for the ladies too, covered in sweat, deep breathing, moaning, throwing your head back, clicking through clip after clip to get off. learn to feel disgusted by it.

 

Thanks @JoePineapples yeah i'm acutely aware of the situation right now. I was chatting to my ap this morning about it on whatsapp.. we talk every day. It helps a lot! I think if i hadn't gone so far into the brain, addiction and dopamine research it would be 50/50 relapse but i'm educated, very aware of the position and have a lot of will power.

 

I've been eagerly waiting to see this thread as I am an avoid reader of your posts britaxe and am glad to see your staying strong. You're an inspiration to those of us who are on this journey!

 

That's fuckin' amazin to hear @volt2187 and just reinforces the march on for all of us.

 

Truly inspiration for me

 

Yes i have to on my amazon kindle "Meet your happy chemicals" and "your brain on porn" both great references and very good reads on dopamine, porn and addiction. Also research dopamine in reference to smart phones, marketing and sugar. It's all related and relevant to addiction. Once understood you will stand a fighting chance of tacking the problem head on.

 

@shutdown66 Thanks man. It's doable but takes a lot of focus, being here a lot helps as it provides focus and motivation.