90 days done!

Thank you God for answering my prayers and helping me go 90 days without this DISEASE!

This is a lengthy post but I made discovery and used tools to help me. Post is in more or less of a chronological order. Please take 5 min to read it could very much help you.

Brief background; discovered nofap this time last year and I met my ex and I tried to reboot but I just wanted sex so I popped pills and just nailed her and felt no sensation out of it! We ended at the end of May and I tried rebooting from June onwards but failed several times!

Since June to today I had 3 proper attempts/streaks;
21 days with lots of edging
37 days hardmode
90 days with tiny edging on 2/3 occasions

Apart from these i had numerous other attempts but failed 2, 3, 4 days etc

Some may argue its not 90 days hard mode but what they're doing (IMO) is putting more stress on themselves and causing more anxiety - I will give a good example; I relapsed with O in my 37 day streak in Oct but until Nov 26th I binged hardcore (60days) and was well pissed and thought "i will never recover" and dug a deeper hole.

Problems when i fapped; checking out women, thinking of banging them,dirty thoughts, Facebook, erotic stories etc

So in order to reboot I had to build and use tools they created some form of a "layer" of defence or a firewall. The tools I used;

Forced the 37 day and current streaks; I'd talk in the mirror until I would get through to myself I would tell myself "you have MO since 13 to 27, you're 28 soon do you not want wife and kids? Do you not want change??!"

Playing numbers game (how many women I wont approach,look at, think about).Some days I would reach upwards of 130. This helped me significantly with my problem of eyeing up women. (You see it's all a jigsaw - you eye a woman, you go home you fantasise and MO).

So i knocked off stage 1 if you like.

Stage 2 was the problem of Facebook/erotic stories. Not having wifi i disabled "adult content" via my mobile network service provider and this blocked stories sites. For Facebook i used a blocking app.

What blocking apps do is create a firewall/ defence layer yes it can be disabled BUT it gives you that extra second or two to think "do I really want to do this and lose my progress?"

In my current streak i did go back on Facebook on day 40 but i could mentally hand the pressure.

Other tools; the use of the calendar in my phone - i used to note down how many times i MO and guys looking back at it today its fucking disgusting; in June i would have 3xMO in one day. Miss a day then 2xMO.

This really showed me how much i have wasted myself and how often!

The struggles in the 90 day journey;
1) 2 x withdrawal symptoms at day 50-54 and day 70ish
2) Thinking i relapsed at day 72 due to WD then edged for 6 hours
3) Day 81 thinking its been a waste as i get no random erections (see benefits below)
4) still no morning wood!
5) gained bad memory from day 30+ before i had good memory maybe its because i was slob at Xmas? Lol

Benefits;
1) No fucking anxiety!
2) Funny, cracking more jokes
3) Whiteness of eyes
4) Darkening of eyelashes
5) More muscle growth
6) Got lots of attention from women around day 30 - kind of died down now but i still get checked out lol
7) Smiles in pictures has significantly improved took some at days 7, 60ish, and 86
8) Face is healthier and cleaner
9) Do not think sexually about women
10) Get aroused by intellectual stimulating conversations
11) Can turn my mind off very quickly from sexual thoughts
12) Random erections returned due to eating more in particular carbs!
13) Happy, enthusiastic
14) Thinking long term and don't want a quickie but a long term relationship
15) Registered on a dating site and met this girl two days ago and we clicked from the start lots of intellectual stimulation and she has been arousing me - but my feelings are developing rapidly. She works long hours but the last day or so I dont know if she is cooling down on me - but I wont die if we dont work but I do like her - haven't liked someone like this in 8years
16) not being bothered if i dont receive messages from girls - before I'd be annoyed!

Summary;

What is rebooting? Rebooting is programming that "off and on" switch and having the ability to keep mind and body (erections)apart

Tools used? Phone calendar, numbers game, apps to block sites, disable adult content, eating less / weight loss so i don't get energy to be aroused and lead to relapse.....

What I discovered??? I discovered the following energies are linked;

Sexual
Nutritional
Sleep (mental + physical)

A deficiency in one of them will cause imbalances in others ie nutrition affected my sexual side (erections) however some matters may counter it the girl i have been talking to we have chemistry and its sparked me down there!

I also discovered semen retention is the causer of benefits and not life style change ie i worked out less but i seen i was gaining more muscle mass but before when fapping i went gym more often but didn't gain much

Counting to 90 days....

I quickly realised if i keep looking at 90 day mark it may put me off at the start. So at day 30 i thought 7 more days and I'll reach my personal best.

When I reached 37 i aimed for 40. Then i played a new numbers game;

42 was close by and that would put me at 6 weeks...

hitting 42 i thought 45 is a few short days away and is 50% of 90...

45 + 4 = 7 weeks... get the gist? In this numbers you can play the percentage of 90 days and the weeks game - two different levels that can help you collaboratively This boosted my mental confidence.

Sorry for the ranting post but a full picture was needed!

Thank you to all for your support during my hard times!

PS i got bad knee pain perhaps i lost too much weight haha!

2016 goals - 90 day nofap and get to 70kg (was 58kg now at 54)

one goal down one to go

Any questions please ask!

 

Also another benefit which is very important is: improvement eyesight!

I get what the guys mean when they say there are no benefits; you become accustomed to them and they become normal!

In human nature we only realise things when they are new to us whether good or bad. But when something becomes a normality its no longer a "benefit" so I probably got more benefits that I have got accustomed to and can't identify as new... lol

 

Guys another thing about the calendar; when i wasted myself from June to sept and in sept i was like "oh shit i could have rebooted in that time frame - june,july and aug!" This was especially the case when i would see success stories in august /September i was like "this could have been me"

So the calendar shows you how much you wasted, how often you wasted, and the amount of recovery you could have done in that very same period!

Other benefits; more energy especially through sleep deprived days

Sorry for making new posts but the main post took an hour to write on my phone and editing it on a phone is painful!

 

So about 3.5 hours left.

Had a phone chat with the girl wasn't aroused but realised later i leaked precum (always been my issue must produce a lot). But i didnt get hard. We didnt talk dirty but our conversation flowed so perfectly that an hour flew by without us knowing.

Normally i would sit and wonder what's wrong . But from this experience i have learnt that i didn't get hard because; i had poor sleep last two days,and nutrition has been bad. When both of these are reinstated i shall be fine!

 

Thank you.

From your username I would like to say something;

I got bored of porn few years back and the reason was; it's the same actors, similar(ish) scenes, the females face clearly shows there is no enjoyment, and the whole thing is acted out and its very obvious. The pathetic thing is they try to portray it as "natural" but its very obviously not!

Think about it...

 

So completed 90 days.

And I have stopped talking to the girl it appeared she was having me on whilst telling me am busy but was talking to other guys.

Unfortunately girls are not serious these days. But i wont let this hold me back and dwell on it - i would have done so before nofap!

Time for bed, catch up on sleep and look forward to gaining weight and continue with nofap.

Don't want to go on sleep around binge or MO binge by entering a false relationship!

Good night fapstronauts!

 

thank you all.

But please remember it took me less than a year. I wasted myself and thought i could never do it! If i can do it you can do it too!

But if there's one advice i can offer it is that force yourself the change! Tell yourself by looking in mirror. Maybe not loudly if you live with family.

I keep saying look in the mirror to talk to yourself because eye contact is a must and when you talk to another person you look them in the eye so do the same to yourself!

 

Oh no, what it was that she was different (well at the star). Then the lies and excuses followed lol

It's hard nowadays finding a partner no one's serious lol! You would think its easier to settle with someone but people can talk to many people at once thanks to technology.

Problem with talking to many people at once is that you wont have time to dedicate to one person as you will be "scattered" across many people and what will happen you will not know who you want!

Technology has ruined society; porn, relationships, social skills for children as they are glued to tablets ps4 etc

Of course like everything technology does have benefits ie emails, finding information quickly etc

 

You see 90 days is 25% of a year

And 50% of 6 months!

I can't believe how much I have gone on very quickly!

I have recently been talking to a girl and she's driving me wild but i haven't touched myself - something i used to do often when talking on the phone!