5 Weeks are done

Today i reached my 5th week. Before this time i PMO'd nearly everyday. It was just an ritual for me and i didn't thought much about it. But the side effect were horrible.
I had serious depressions with suicide thoughts since many years. I smoked pot and never left my dorm room. I struggled with my self to quit smoking but i never succeeded. But after maybe ~day10, the need completely disappeared (same with beer). I wasn't paranoid any more. I felt my face smiling all the time, started conversations, visited my parents (im a student). Since ~day 30 the urges for PMO also disappeared. I dont need much of sleep, i get up after 5 hours and i feel awesome, every moment. I now have 2 jobs and i am working on my master thesis in computer science and i dont feel overwhelmed. I started with exercises, every morning. 6-12km of walk and some massive workouts on my Chin Up which i had for more than one year unused in my door (i started to read a book about how the guys in jail train). I changed my eating behaviours (more like mr atkins), before that time i just ate a lot of potatoes. Vegetables were always a big part of my nutrition, but i now recognize that i need meat, everday. Fish is also awesome, especially if i catch it on my own. oddly enough i catched the biggest ones in the last 5 weeks .... with a busshit equipment, the guys next to me couldn't believe what they saw . When i was fishing i also recognized that i had my hands are more under control. I could easy made perfect knots without any anger or shaking fingers. And yes the anger, i had it on everthing. It just disappeared.

“I can’t believe I’ve gone this far considering where I started. I’m not sad and alone anymore. I am alive and it’s just the beginning.”

These are just some of my benefits after quitting PMO im curious for the future.

kind regards
1337

 

Almost 5 years have passed since I started this thread. I relapsed a few days later. I didn't reach streaks that long after that. Until now. I am now on day 55 of my trip. I feel like shit. My crush turned me down 4 weeks ago after meeting multiple times. My best friend killed himself jumping off a bridge. I took a 3 week vacation to calm down. It rained all the time. Now that I have to go back to work tomorrow, it is suddenly summer.

How to update the counter in my signature?

 

I finished my studies with a master degree. Found a Job as software developer. But i really hate working and i hate the people, i hate it working the whole day in front of the computer when the sun shines. I think nobody there likes me. And to be honest, i have constant thoughts on killing my self and others. I am not happy about my life. I earn money, got a car and a rental flat, but i dont really enjoy any of it. Nobody takes me seriously. I always have the feeling that people talk to me like a child. I feel loney and lost.