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To delete or not to delete?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by xSolidSnake86, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. xSolidSnake86

    xSolidSnake86 Fapstronaut

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    I have a big collection of 1500gb. The reason it's so big is because I kept a note of countless hot female stars I came to know and love over all of my pmo years.

    Years ago I came across two free porn forum sites that have basically every scene of most, if not all female pornstars (not mentioning what the sites are). I could find all the women I know, and discover new ones with the AZ search showing a thumbnail of each lady. I could one click "download all" source link files like depositshare etc with a superfast internet connection. Then after an hour or more I could check on the laptop and whoop de doo, I'd have every scene of that pornstar saved to my hdd for instant access. (I did that for every star I was interested in.

    So as a result, I was never really interested in streaming porn online via tube sites opening multiple tabs etc. And I don't think I ever would be.

    I've been trying to reboot since November 2015 when I discovered nofap and ybop. But my collection has caused me to relapse countless times. I'm intending to reboot and give up pmo forever. So why the fuck don't I just delete it for fuck sake? Sentimental value? Not wanting to allow the loss of my best years to have been for nothing? I don't know!

    Needless to say, I know I should delete it (there shouldn't be a single doubt about it). But I'm just not quite ready to do that just yet!
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2016
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  2. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    I paid a sum of money for a pay per minute site. Initially I had 1000 minutes to view porn. When it was at around 850 minutes left I made a decision.

    I put on an 8 hour video and turned off the monitor and sound. I did it again and repeated until I had no minutes left.

    Although I can realistically grab my credit card out of my wallet and add another 1000 minutes, I feel safer having put this barrier between me and the computer.

    Also feeling safer lessens the anxiety that may lead to triggers.

    Delete it!!! Delete it all!!!
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2016
    jonny94 and Dizzy Lotus like this.
  3. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    Search your feeling on this. Do you really want to keep them, or do you actually hate these pictures? I suspect you hate them and want to get rid of them, and you're just afraid to, which is understandable. It isn't worth it to keep them, since all they do is tempt you. You posted here because you wanted someone to give you that push to get rid of them. We are pushing. Delete them right now without looking at them at all. You will be amazed at how free you feel.
     
    jonny94 and Dizzy Lotus like this.
  4. Savvy

    Savvy Fapstronaut

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    You know you must delete them, it's tough but the key is letting go of the attachment to these objects, kind of a spiritual thing but it works! good luck
     
    jonny94 and Deleted Account like this.
  5. @xSolidSnake86

    Tough one, isn't it. :)

    1. When you know that you should but you don't.

    2. Concentrate on the reasons.

    3. Sure that you want to quit?

    //

    When I deleted stuff I had on my PC (ehm, I meant Mac of course) and then moved on to the NoFap (managed 159 days at my longest), I have move beyond porn.

    I think that they call it transformation for a reason. ;-)

    NoFap is about spending that energy, that you were given, to grow. Note that it is still on you to target that energy into the right direction...(My biggest issue during that streak).

    On one hand, you can always get an external disk, store on it (encrypt) and give it to a trusted friend or accountability partner. However, don't you think that just that very decision "I am done with it" does not change you quite a bit?

    I hope that you take the right decision for yourself.

    Should you decide for NoFap then I hope that you go all the way!

    Good Luck!
     
    jonny94 likes this.
  6. David Adams

    David Adams Fapstronaut

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    What a great find, what a beautiful library of... sex cocaine for a porn addict.

    Seems you need a push. I probably do too. I struggled with just deleting one image the other day. You know what to do brother. Press delete. I'm reluctant to boot up my old computer because I'm nervous about confronting your exact scenario but I will. And I'll delete them too.

    Delete that shit now.
     
    FemaleFapstronauts and Icyweb like this.
  7. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    Yup delete....its just like a smoker attempting to quit, but keeping a pack of smokes "just in case"....it's just planning a relapse...
     
    Dr. J and IwontGiveup like this.
  8. ljc

    ljc Fapstronaut

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    You know that you want to give up PMO. You have been on NoFap and trying to reboot since November 2015. You know that your collection has caused you to relapse many times. You think you aren't quite ready to give it up, but you have thought about it enough to come here and post a thread about it. You knew that everyone here was going to tell you to get rid of it. Getting rid of the collection won't automatically make giving up PMO easy, but you know you need to do it. Go ahead and delete it.
     
  9. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    Oh yeah it's always tough to delete that stuff. i was thinking to watch one scene but i was in some streak. so when i relapsed, i watched that scene n then deleted the link to that scene.

    i would mast to the porn on my laptop. deleting that stuff is helpful.

    i wish i had a logical reason to explain why you must delete it.
    dont listen to the mind. listen to ybop, it's like vaccination. the baby cries when vaccinated but the injection is a necessity.
    similarly your mind will cry when your finger will hover over the delete button but it's a necessity for the mind.

    just as we grab the baby's hand to stop it from creating chaos while we're injecting the baby, similary we have to be tough on the mind.

    so maybe when you're motivated to nofap then at that moment you can delete this stuff.
    i mean it's not like we're all motivated throughout the day. but the effects of what we do when we're motivated last throughout the day.

    its like we go to gym in morning, we're all charged up and excited about work out. so we go each day.
    but after a month we're down n dont feel like going.
    but the effects of working out the last month will be there(some minor changes in body)

    similarly delete the porn when you're all motivated for success n happiness n nofap.

    and to everyone else...use ur credit to sponsor recoome's vacation:rolleyes:
     
    seth and Veritech like this.
  10. Zappy

    Zappy Guest

    To me it seems like you already answered your own question in your post.

    My advise is, prepare yourself to delete it all, and when you are feeling ready, do it.
     
    seth likes this.
  11. Veritech

    Veritech Fapstronaut

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    Excellent point. This is the logic that we need to follow.

    One better:

    If you try broccoli and you hate it, do you keep the remainder of the vegetable to remind yourself not to eat broccoli again?

    No. You toss it in the garbage.

    Porn is garbage. That is where it needs to be tossed.

    Not just your recycling bin. Gone.
     
    MementoMori and Dizzy Lotus like this.
  12. xSolidSnake86

    xSolidSnake86 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I know what the right decision is! I just don't have that courage just yet idk why! And yeah I made this thread for encouragement knowing what everyone will say. I just needed to hear it I guess, for reinforcing the decision to do it! But I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place! Stuck in the middle! YBOP is the reason I need to be pmo free forever!

    @Icyweb
    No I don't hate them, I love them! It's because I love them is why I do and don't want them! Lol I dont know if that makes sense but that's how I feel. I wish I hated them because there'd be no hesitation to get rid of them! Just thinking about deleting them hurts wtf lmao! I told myself that when I get to a certain point like a few months of abstaining, then the pain of deleting it will mean nothing at that point and so I'll do it then! But damn the other side of me says, "you'll never get that point of a few months if you keep that shit around"!

    @Ikindaknew And yeah man that's so true lmao that's what happened when I tried to quit smoking. I kept one pack left, not because I wanted to go back to it, but because at that point I didn't want it anymore having quit. But because they were their, I smoked em! Lol after that last pack was gone, I never seeked out smoking cigarettes again! I'm smoke free for over a year now whoop whoop! :-D now it's just porns' time to bite the dust! :-(

    @Zappy You're right that's my intention. Prepare myself, when I get to a certain point I won't feel the pain of deleting it. Because deleting it now I fear the loss of it may make me just go to seek it out all over again! I have to be at a place of peace, a place of closure, and then delete it! Until I get to that place, I have to stay strong!
     
  13. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    It makes sense. I wanted to avoid going full nerd on everyone here, but I think this quote from the lord of the rings is the simplified version of what (I think) we are both trying to say. "He hates and loves the Ring, as he hates and loves himself." If you don't know that quote, it's in reference to a creature/person who has become addicted to a magical ring, which causes him great discomfort and makes him a shitty person, but also gives him pleasure and helps him forget his misery for a short time. If that doesn't sound like a perfect description of porn addiction, I don't know what does.
    If you actually believe that waiting will make it easier, and that you won't relapse in the meantime, then go ahead and wait. I don't think it will get any easier though. I think the longer you wait to delete it the easier it will become to just keep putting off the decision. You need a game plan. You said you were worried getting rid of it could cause you to relapse as a reaction. I think you should put on your shoes and coat, start your car (if you have one) and then grab your computer, delete it all unceremoniously, and walk out the door. Go shopping, go for a walk in the park, go to the gym, get a cup of coffee, meet a friend, go wherever you will be able to avoid the reaction and celebrate your decision.

    Remind yourself that while this takes courage, you can't wait to become courageous. Courage isn't received and it doesn't accumulate over time, it has to be generated here and now.
    Also remember that it is just a few simple clicks. Whenever I have to do something that is internally difficult, it helps me to reduce its significance. I can't count the number of times I've told myself to just stand up and walk away from the computer, or just say the words of an apology. The meaning to all this is still there, but it helps if you dissociate the meaning from the action long enough to do it.
    Don't think about deleting it, just do it.
    The greatest trap for addicts is self deception. You know when you're telling yourself bullshit lies, so call yourself on it and live a happier life.
     
  14. swagnarock

    swagnarock Fapstronaut

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    I ve had similar problems in the past....i ve never had more that 30gb at once though....i would keep them in 5-6 hidden folders n randomly transfer em to random folders with eyes closed....if I couldn't gather the courage to delete em...

    Now delete it already!....or u can transfer em to some ext hdd n hide it in a place beyond ur reach(I would keep em in my uncle's who lives far away...) eventually u'll get detached n delete em...
     
  15. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    I would recommend not waiting, and not storing it elsewhere. Because I'm afraid that if you do wait, and then later decide to delete it, you will relapse.
    I think it's better to delete them shortly after a relapse (as soon as possible) than waiting a while still. Because say you're at 30 days, and feel like "I can delete them now." The urge to watch one of them before deleting will be incredibly high, I'll warn you.
     
  16. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    I have to disagree with this part. If you plan for a relapse you will have one. If you have a plan to delete this stuff after you relapse that will just make relapsing easier, since you will be able to tell yourself that some good will come of it. That good is perfectly accessible without the accompanying bad. But I do agree with the sentiment that you need to deal with this when you aren't feeling easily tempted.
     
  17. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    That is not what I meant :eek: I'm sorry if it came across that way. I didn't mean he should purposefully relapse before deleting the porn, I meant he should delete the porn as soon as possible.
     
  18. Definitely delete that shit, let go bro.
     
  19. Harvhe

    Harvhe Fapstronaut

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    Everything must go delete it. We believe in you.
     
  20. nitsuj0786

    nitsuj0786 Fapstronaut

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