An absoutely uplifting encounter

Prolog: I am on day 29 (forgive me for disobeying the 30day rule but it will be 30 in a couple of minutes) of my reboot process where I resign from PMO.
The previous days I struggled a lot with EDs and urges but I thankfully was able to resist. This is what happened just now:

As every Thursday evening I went to visit my local self-support group (S.L.A.A.) which is a mood lifter per se. When it was over, on my train ride home closely before departure two girls entered the train and took their seat directly in opposite of me.

It struck me instantly as I felt immediately how gorgeous and pure these two innocent girls were.
It was like they were surrounded by an aura of some sort - I sensed nothing but love and joy and happiness for them and from them.
Nothing could prevent me to instantly start smiling at them like having my head stuck up my ass, and when I realized my constitution I did not bother at all.

In fact one of the two gorgeous maidens - I reckoned even the more beautiful one - took note of me and smiled back in such a shy and heartbreakingly cute way I felt a warm explosion in my stomach ... it made me unbelievably happy that she answered my smile ...
... and I was so overwhelmed that I shied instantly, turned away my head.
Gosh, now, she was doing the same!

I could not suppress an outburst of laughter, and I felt no embarrassment whatsoever.
No one took offence. Just joy, peace, excitement and happiness all around us.
The entire scene barely took more than 5 seconds but it felt to me like a little eternity.

After a while I realized that they might have had two or three drinks but what did it matter?
I kept on smiling at them like a jerk - they did not care either, probably assumed that I was drunk, too (but I hardly drink at all). I still was not able to turn away my glance just absolutely enchanted by that beauty and love I was perceiving.

And these two were so much different from what I am used from P - I had no sensation of that well-known sexual arousal which P is giving me and I had none of these urges I feel when I see lightly dressed women.
Even though I saw their detailed imperfections I could not help but to find them cute and gorgeous - it was a miracle.
I am convinced that I might have felt the same even when they would have been dressed in trash bags

They started chatting, and, for a while, I was just following their conversation, then on occasion dropped some remarks. The mood was casual and uplifting.

Most remarkably, they also had a boy in their company who had sat down next to me and immediately had started playing with his smart phone. My normal behaviour would have been to feel insecure because of him and me not knowing his relationship status towards these girls. Actually, it did not matter this time. And it turned out that he was just a friend.

When I left the train I felt content. This is what I needed, what I got was enough (no phone number, email etc).

Amaaazzing... I wish all of you to experience something similar!

 

i now what you mean, this simple thing I life, this simple relation, makes the 90 days, all the hard gruling days of quitting p and M and what ever, makes it worth it!!!!!!!!!

 

Yup, it's experiences like this that makes it all worth it and helps motivate me to stay strong and to keep fighting!

 

First of all... lemme thank you guys nomo volt2187 yukon programer for your friendly feedback
This surprised me a lot in a positive way. Yesterday I've had a similar situation and by looking back I do not regret my behaviour or the way it went. My inner critic raised his voice for not reacting to the girl in the perfect way but since I know I am going to see here again often I do not really listen to him

 

I was myself in a similar situation since I had lived in a relationship having a child until we broke up.
As long as you do not have children it is easy to end a relationship and go on, and I also know the feeling of wrongfully being kept captive with no chance at all to make further experiences with other women.
Right now it seems I feel more attracted to younger women (like young students) and that is why I am not even too interested to establish longer contacts by asking for phone numbers / email addresses etc...
It would be still a high challenge for me to ask a attractive women who I seriously considered a relationship with to ask her out/for contact details.
Guess I am in my exercise phase which I somehow missed back in my teenage years

 

Wow - I wish I had your number of days on my counter
I really start feeling glad and full of hope that a longer abstinence will lead me somewhere!